(Written weeks ago)

It ended as quickly as it started.

I reflect back to August 2nd 5:00 am and what was racing through my mind.
It has been a mere 10 weeks since then and feel as though I have grown expodentionally within that time.

I can not pin point what went wrong, but I do know what I can do differently.

Leading up to August 2nd I had difficulty sleeping which, happy to catch 4 hours a sleep a night, which may be a leading cause to what occured race day.
This experience has been discussed various different times since but I want to state my official story-
right here, right now.

Training for AC in my mind went well. Yes there were times that I would go out the night before, consume several alcholic beverages and sleep, rather nap- before a training run.
It never really phazed me. It was when the insomnia kicked in.
July was terrible. I can not phathom the reasoning- I was not nervous nor was I stressed, I really thought all of this training was fun and enjoyed spending the countless hours on the trails.
My lack of sleep really affected my training that month. I ended my last few weeks of hard training with 90+ miles and even a week of 100+ however there was a few days were I would have to pull off the side of HWY 2 to take a 20 minute power nap before a training run.
WHO DOES THAT?

I don't know how it got to this point. I pride myself on being able to sleep less and still perform extremely well.
At this point though, my body was starting to shut down.

Yes, I picked the perfect time to adopt only the cutest puppy in the world.
She did take part on some of those sleepless nights, however only minimally.
I wouldn't take any of those days back.

Driving up Angeles Crest Hwy 2 on July 31st with my friend Louis Kwan- I could barely keep my eyes open... it was 4pm.
I didn't think anything of it. No matter what- I was going to toe that starting line in less than 48 hours.

What I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong- someone crazy enough to sign up for a 100+ distance run will probably not obtain that many sleep hours to begin with.

Back to RACE DAY.

5am August 2nd.

I had crew cheif Gionne, my best friend Lecia and my dad at my side.
I was surrounded by friends that I have spent countless hours training with over the course of this last year.
I was standing next to Da, whom I've trained with since the beginning, when 50 miles was just a dream of ours.
I couldn't catch my breath. Hiking up Acorn Trail couldn't have been any harder.
At the time I thought it was for the best, I didn't want to go out too fast, however, it never subsided.
Although I felt as though I had ten pound weights attached to each foot- I persevered.

The first 25 miles of the course has always been my favorite, well lets be honest- I've enjoyed each section of the AC100 equally but putting them all together in a matter of 33 hours is different.
This first section was difficult and I couldn't understand why. It was extremely frustrating to thing how easy it seemed during my training runs and how painful it was now.

Looking back at Baden Powell, all I can remember is the need for a nap and the feeling of weakness. This was a whole other game I was playing and I was not prepared for it.

After that things just got worse.
My calf cramping up coming down Mt. Williomson- after that I felt as though I many have pulled something.
I couldnt straighten my leg for the remainder of the race.

If it wasnt for Balmore, another race participant, who encouraged me up until Chilao.
I'd probably still be crying on that paved road to Mt. Hillyar while listening to 30 Seconds to Mars- City of Angels.
Seriously.

Coming into Chilao I had gained some weight and couldn't look anyone in the face for fear of loosing my mind completely.
I tried to stretch.
I tried to eat.
I tried not to cry.
I definitely did NOT want to continue.
But needless to say, Chilao brought the baby out of me.



If it wasnt for my crew, I wouldn't have continued.
I picked up my pacer Melissa here and in my mind I thought if I just kept going, no matter what speed, I'll get over whatever was happening to my body.


I thought... things couldn't get worse.
At that point it started raining.
DOWNPOUR.

I asked for it. I asked for all of this.
At this point I was walking, every step I focused on anything but the pain in my right calf and shooting pains through both knees.
Melissa in front and I just followed... throwing myself my own pity party THE WHOLE WAY.

My attempt to drop at shortcut was a complete fail. I sat in a chair for what seemed like hours.
It was freezing.
It was raining.
I just wanted to go home and be amongst my several warm blankets.


My crew, my wonderful crew pushed me forward and with a toasty bean burrito and a poncho to sheild that rain away... I continued.
To my surprise I was able to run partly down the fire road by counting the seconds out loud and the minutes on my hand.
It was a mere distraction from not only the pain, but the uncomfortable rain poncho I was wearing that was making a maddening noise.

I would like to say I hiked up to Newcomb saddle, but Melissa could tell you it was more of a crawl.
Too many times did I ask her to stop so I can curl in a ball on the side of the trail.
SLEEP.
It's all I wanted.
It's all I craved.

The next few miles were a blur. Sleep deprived and in pain I feel as though I have attempted to black it out of my memory.
What I can rememeber is walking, very slowly, down from Newcomb Saddle en route to Chantry.
A run that can take about an hour took over 3 to walk.
3 hours and all I could manage to say to Melissa was "How many more miles".
Something I asked maybe every minute.

Coming into Chantry was a crawl.
I think back to the first time I ran the loop around Chantry Flats with Kiley and Marcus about two years ago.
Thinking how incredible it was that I had just ran 9 miles on a beautiful trail. Who would've thought that we would all be attempting Angeles Crest together.

Chantry Flats.
Oh, Chantry Flats.

Coming in and getting weighed- all I could think about is food and laying down.
I had finally gotten my weight on track but the pain I was feeling at that point was unbarable.
Dean, my second pacer urged my to continue but crawling up Upper Winter Creek was something I couldn't even fathom.


I flopped on that yoga mat layed out for me and didn't get back up.
DNF. Not something I want to include in my vocabulary.

We all have bad days- even me. Of course I would've wished for it to be ANY OTHER DAY- but it was a learning experince.
One that I will never forget.

I will never forget the support from my friends and family.
The constant encouragement from my crew.
The motivation from another participant.
The assistance given by the race volunteers.

I will never forget what happend within the 24 hours I was on that course.
One would never know, only what was seen during the aid stations.
There are countless hours and mile between each time crew is accessible and that time makes or breaks you.

Laying on my parents couch the following two days- I couldn't help but think how crazy I was to sign up in the first place.
But when I found out I had missed signing up for next years race- I cried. Was I crying out of relief or saddness?
At the time it was probably relief however I know I'll be back.

I will finish what I started- if I have to wait two year so be it!

Angeles Crest 100... I will come back for you!

But for now, I'm going to sit back and enjoy the year... with only a few 100ks and 50 milers mixed in.



Till next time,
peace, love and happiness.