The Coastal Challenge 2018

“Vamanos Suzanna” I can hear Ester from a distance, beckoning me to continue running with her and Ragna. I catch up but can feel my right quad begin to tense up when I increase my pace, a pace I cannot keep. I press my hand against my quad hard enough to hold it off from seizing up. “Do not cramp now, Sawna, you’re almost done” I say. "I have nothing left, my body weak, my muscles sore, thirsty for rest" I think to myself. I’m running on fumes, I just can't do it anymore. 

Day 0

I arrive at the Best Western Irazu in San Jose where the race registration was held the day before the race. Although it was a relaxed affair I felt completely out of my element. Instantly I spot elite runners branded by their sponsors; Hoka, The North Face, Salomon, Merrell, making me question what I'd gotten myself into. Sitting in the conference room, I notice that there were people of all fitness levels, sizes, shapes, and ethnicity- this seems like a well rounded bunch of athletes, I instantly sigh with relief. At the same time I couldn’t help but gawk at some of the women’s bodies. "Close your mouth, Sawna, you're drooling" I say to myself. These runners radiate confidence and look prepared for the test at hand.  Rhea, who is in Costa Rica for the Run Like A Girl retreat starting tomorrow, was thankfully by my side as I looked over at her in awe. Somehow knowing what I was thinking she quickly says “Don’t worry, Sawna! You’re strong and you’ll do great!” She assured me "They don't know, but you are someone to watch" she ended with. I’m nervous, obviously, but more so because I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into. Despite working several jobs, sometimes three in a day just to afford this race, last week was the first time I had even looked at the course profile and sat jaw open as I googled meters to feet- they have some pretty tough climbing sections that I didn’t anticipate. Well, it’s not like I trained anyways. I’ve made my bed, so I may as well lay in it. Later that night I prepare myself for the weeks adventure, anticipating my body acceptance to whatever pain is in store. “This will be fun”, we’re my last thoughts as I drifted off to sleep. 

Day 1

I wake with a jolt, thinking I’ve overslept. My phone read 2:50AM, 5 minutes before my alarm was to set off. I quickly brush my teeth and wash my face before making coffee. As I begin the coffee, my roommate Carrie, tooth brush in mouth, nonchalantly mentions that there is a scorpion by the toilet. 

Oh. My. Dog.

I silently go through all the scenarios of the scorpion attacking my foot while I peed or whilst brushing my teeth. I snap back to reality, grab the glass cup on the bedside table and went to the bathroom and trapped the sucker underneath it. The day is starting off on the right foot! 

Before the miles.     Photo by: Hilary Ann 

The adventure began with a 3 hour bus ride to the start of the race. A girl with beautiful red hair quickly sat next to me and introduced herself as "Josie", from her accent I could only assume she was from the UK. We conversed the entire drive, with two long pit stops for the bathroom we finally arrived at bumpy dirt road and both walked off with a new friend. This is as far as the bus will take us, the final 2k we must walk. The runners chatted along the road as we swayed from side to side, avoided the large puddles of deep mud before the road opened to soft sandy beach and cobalt blue skies. Welcome to the starting line of 235 kilometers.

RLAG Super Squad Photo by the talented: Hilary Ann

Several photographs, a few pee stops in bushes, and before you knew it all racers lined up behind the starting line. This is reality, I signed up for this. In "Cinco, Quatro, Tres, DOS, UNO" and we were off! 

"Do not push the first 8 miles" I remember Hailey repeating to me. The race begins with a flat section to the first aid. Your initial course of action is to sprint- opportunist would think so, but when it's 10am and the days heat and humidity at an all time high, you must conserve your energy. I quickly set into a comfortable pace and continued forward. The heat, although extremely hot, did not faze me and I noticed quickly, that I actually enjoyed it. I ran alongside farms of palm trees for what seemed like ages, passing several runners along the way who looked as though they may have pushed themselves too much in this heat. I was in a good groove, singing to myself as I drank my sweet Gu hydration water, tablets I had never used before but seem to be working very nicely with my stomach at the moment. Fingers crossed it continues that way. 

At the first aid station, my first of 193,743,289,259 sips of Poweraid. Photo by: Hilary Ann

The first aid station came and went and I found myself running alone. The dirt road quickly gave way to a hilly single track. "Welcome to the rainforest" I thought as my body is completely drenched; my boa shorts sag a bit from the weight of the water as I wring my shirt and the sweat pours down. The hilly single track turns into some steep climbing and my running turns into a hike as I begin singing "Come what me" as both Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman just to entertain myself. Although alone, I'm in a great mood.

The beautiful single track that, come on, really was never a trail but a bushwacked section, spit you out onto another dirt road. We followed the dirt road down to the second aid station and it continued on, gifting you more of the rain forest, its vegetation and small waterfalls from the safety of the small road your feet traveled on. This is where I spotted Josie again. I was ecstatic to find a friend to chat with even if it was for a few seconds. I pressed on. 

I had made the mistake of grabbing a banana at the last aid station and my stomach almost immediately started rejecting it. Through the opposite end. I quickly glance behind me to see how far Josie was and quickly took a pit stop on the side of the trail. Relief. 

Photo by Ian Corless

Photo by Ian Corless

The miles seemed fairly easy during this stage, we had a beautiful single track that climbed up to an overlook of the river and our campsite just below. Which means, we are almost done. The trail, blanketed with leaves, was soft under the feet, allowing a speedy descent straight down the trail. The tree covered descent opened up to a river, one you must cross, twice, to get to the finish line. It was cool and welcomed, passing a few photographers as the stage came to an end. 

Happiness in the moment. Photo by Hilary Ann

The stage ended in Rifiki lodge. This is where Cicadas were made known, and where I truly understand that, no, the wet stuff isn't a light rain, but these bugs peeing on you. 

Camp was nestled on Rifikis lodge property, an 843 acre private reserve on the pristine Savegre River. Tents lined up with tired runners as we all gathered for dinner and listened to the Cicada males singing their mating call. The cicadas song didn't end as I laid soaking in my tent. It was hot, humid, and I sticky from constant sweating. I laid there, begging for sleep to come, waiting, wishing, hoping.

Day 2: 

Sleep never came, I lay in my tent hoping for my alarm to sound soon. I can hear people start to rise around me, notifying me that the day is beginning. 3:30 am and I didn't sleep a wink. The easiest morning tasks seemed daunting and difficult to manage. I sat at the breakfast table, eyes half opened as the coffee washed away the Trail Butter I had just eaten for breakfast. A ritual I will soon find everyday, I put my pack on and prepared for the days journey.

My eyes fight to stay open as we begin our first ascent. I can't manage to keep up with Josies pace as I linger farther back. I'm huffing and puffing, unable to catch my breath, my body begs for rest. It's only the second day, yet I am first aboard the struggle express. I continue to grind up the trail, unable to find balance. My shoes, the inov-8 trailroc 285 are my absolute favorite shoes to date, however, without tred, they are worthless. But alas! They are what I am currently wearing and are not managing to keep grip on anything. I'm frustrated beyond belief, tripping, falling, sliding, rolling ankles, unable to stand properly. My body yearns for sleep and yet here I am, pushing it far far away from what it needs. I'm hiking with fellow RLAG participant, Kerri as we converse on races we've done and trails we've experienced. It was a nice distraction from the fatigue my body was feeling. 

'twas a booty-full day in the end. Photo by: SeekTheWild (Andres Vargas)

There was a climb, a ridge line, and then a dirt road descent, back to a climb, back to a descent into a field. I couldn't push my frustration away as I continued to trip and roll my ankle as I pressed forward. What was my issue? The negativity flowed as quickly as the streams we were passing and I was merely a fish unable to swim against the current. Aware of my negativity, I make my best attempts to stop them immediately. There was a point, running along with a local Tico that I realized the problem wasn't the "trail" or my shoes, those were all but simple excuses, but the issue was just me. All I needed to do was change my attitude and my energy, form and my running would adjust accordingly. And that's exactly what I did. I pictured being back in Los Angeles, dealing with traffic, rude people, sirens and was instantly thankful for the situation I was currently in here in Costa Rica. I reminded myself that we were running toward Dominical, a town I've spent countless days at the previous week and some time last year during the RLAG retreats. I'm running toward a familiar place. At that very moment while hoping rocks to cross a stream, I slip (surprise, surprise) and my feet fly straight up and my back straight down on said rocks. "Hold back the tears, Sawna". I did a quick body check, felt a jolt a pain in my lower back but everything else seemed fine. "I'm ok!" I assure the Tico that was running with me. At this point, the stoke was too high to let a simple fall bring me down. 

I found my groove, and I ran with it. The heat of the day finally arriving and I savored it. I don't know if it was the sun or finally arriving on even terrain but I was thriving. Fatigue long gone, I was overwhelmed with a sensation I hadn't felt all day; power. Cue Kayne West 'Power' song...

I get by with a lot of help by the rope, trying not to get pulled by the current. Photo by Ian Corless

Power in my heart, power in my legs, power that motivated me to push forward. I began singing Queen "Don't stop me now" as I quickened my pace on the road, inevitably passing both Josie and Mirta, leaving me in the third place female position. Needless to say, finishing it Dominical I was beaming with happiness. I chugged my Vega Protein/Chia/Flax seed/Super Green concoction and immediately walked to Mongo Congo Cafe for a Vegan burger. 

It was just after 11am and I had the rest of the day to eat, recover, rest and maybe go for a sunset swim with friends.

The Coastal Challenge, I could get use to this.

Day 3

Every cuss word ever imaginable currently going through my head and out my mouth. Cursing at The Coastal Challenge and everyone who created this specific route. One step, two step, three step, FALL. The vines are booby traps that yank you in every direction that is not the direction you intend on going, the trees covered in sharp pricks warning you of your unwelcomeness. The trail- oh the “trail”, doesn’t exists, merely an area bushwhacked that vertically drops off a cliff. 

One step, two step, slide on butt. 

One step, two step, slide on stomach. 

I’m beyond frustrated by my failed attempt at running today. My attempt only left me face planting on the ground or slipping backward. I continue to walk forward, slowly and with high knees, trying to avoid all the vines of deadly traps. I blame Vince, my best friend and evil trail finder that recently moved from LA to Colorado, for this, a “trail” I know he’d absolute love and it makes me undeniably mad and happy at the same time. 

Chasing Waterfalls Photo by Hilary Ann

One step, two step, FALL as I grab a branch, holding on so tightly I see my knuckles turning white, my feet dangle beneath me as they desperately try to find the ground. I begin questioning my choices, and as always, my sanity. “Why am i doing this”. “I’m not good at this”. I made the mistake of not purchasing both new shoes before this trip and have suffered the consequences ever since. My Salomon Sensepros and Inov8 trailrocs on their last leg. The price I pay to save a bit of money was not worth it. The tred on both shoes completely worn off, hence the constant slipping, falling and unstableness. I swear I’m not this clumsy. Well, sometimes. Finally reaching a section of trail with a view, my movement stops and I stand straight to take in the view. As I’m almost breathless from the view, or possibly the trail, my body is graced with a sweet cool ocean breeze. I close my eyes, inhale deeply, and am reminded why I’m here. This; The constant adventure, the views, the heat, the people, all of it, is why. 

Today started off surprisingly well, for the first 3 miles. I was running next to Ester and continued forward in a similar pace. Although I knew my pace was not fast, I felt as though running next to Ester was a red flag. A warning that perhaps I'm pushing too hard and need to back off. A thought that soon became a reality once the river and rocks became the next few miles and hours of sheer torture. OK, I'm being quite dramatic. It was only sheer torture because I couldn't go as fast as I wanted, or am capable of. The past two years I've struggle with injury after injury with, of course, my ankles. The idea that I could possible do that again today, was terrifying. With other runners already running with blue and purple ankles, I refused to be one of them and by doing so, I took it slow. I lost a lot of time and that's OK. I continuously assured myself that it was OK to take the section easy, but with that came loss of motivation for the entire segment. I didn't try to move fast, I just took my time, crawling over rocks, swimming across the river as I gazed at what beautiful sights surrounded me. We passed by two very large waterfalls and continue out of the river area, HALLELUJAH, and continued onto a road that would inevitably lead us to single track of bushwhacked trail filled with fern booby traps, steep drop offs, slippery logs that made it a continuous obstacle course.  

Photo by Andres Vargas

One step, two step, FALL. A cycle that repeated only to my frustration. I find myself questioning the idea that I actually paid to do this. I put myself in this situation and will continue despite my current frustration, no matter what things always get better. 

And they did. I jogged down the trail as best I could and onto a road to the next aid station. After this aid station there was the last miles all on the beach, I couldn't help but be excited. After the day of endless adventure I was excited to be in the sun and on soft terrain. My spirit began to lift as I cruised the beach passing the infamous whales tale, enjoying a slight breeze with only the occasional thought that I could possibly be lost. I remind myself that we are supposed to run to the end of the beach but it didn't stop me from searching for the pink flags. My search ended as I could see the large green coastal challenge flag off in the distance, a sign of the day coming to an end. Almost the end, the beach section ended with a mini climb before spitting you out to the highway. I'm not a huge road running fan however todays highway section was welcomed. I quick section that sped me straight to the finish and only 6 minutes off the 3rd female. I sigh with relief. Welcome Marino Ballena National Park, our campsite for the night.

Everything is sore, my feet, my quads, my arms. Why my arms? Probably from the few times i held onto trees for dear life as my feet lost balance and my body slipped from under me. As I laid on the massage table I held back the tears. Not because anything hurt but because it was so nice to be touched(that sounds weird). A hug would've sufficed but the massage was a welcome treat after a day of loneliness. I laid there as she worked on the kinks of my calves and quads while being treated to a show of howler monkeys and their family just above me.  Despite the days unfortunate discomfort, it ended surrounded by 100 of my new friends and that is probably the best part.

Day 4

If I were peanut butter, this climb would be the jam to my sandwich. I can't help but sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen ever so softly as we continue our biggest climb of the week. "Is this it?" I think to myself. I eat mountains for breakfast, and this is easy compared to some of the mountains I train on back home. I try to back off Ester who is hiking in front of me. Obviously I have a big fat girl crush on her, who wouldn't!? She's confident, strong, fierce, and later I found out she is extremely nice. At the beginning of the race I was too nervous to make conversation as we ran together. Since we got off the boat and began running, we kept the same pace and all I wanted to do is talk. As we continue climbing up, I couldn't help but think of those days on Jones peak, North Backbone and even Bear Canyon, all in worse condition and more technical than the trail I'm currently on. I play to my strengths and steep climbs are my specialty. I try to back off Esters heals as I continue singing Queen acapella. I held back from pushing on the climb despite my love for a jog straight up a steep ascent. Before the first aid station we began conversing, she began asking me what races I've completed, who my sponsors are, where I was from, trying to get a grasp on who this girl was attached to her hip. Time flew by as we were engulfed in conversation. I felt as though our pace was fairly easy but with such great company I didn't want to push it further. I was having the most fun I'd have all week! 

Photo by Hilary Ann

We ran the hills, the ridge line, the descent and even after going off trail on accident for a bit, straight into the river. "Oh boy, not another river navigation segment" I thought instantly. As much as I wanted to stick by Ester, I couldn't help but slow down as my feet constantly slipped underneath me. I accepted that perhaps this technical section would be my weakness, but I knew there would be more climbing sections and that I could catch up. I didn't' let the river bring me down, I stayed positive and persevered. It wasn't long until I caught back up to Ester, as we both continued to climb up the rolling hills. Our conversation consistent, I couldn't help but feel gratitude toward this beautiful person, letting me join in her days run was just what I needed this week. After spending most of the challenge running alone, spending an entire day running along side someone I extremely admire was a dream come true. 

The trail rolls along a dirt road for a bit before you descend steep technical switchbacks. Ester, knowing how much I slip and perhaps can be a disaster waiting to happen offered to lead the run and I could follow her footsteps. Having someone in front gave me to confidence to trust my feet and gain some speed as we hoped, skipped and jumped over logs, around ferns, through rock piles all the way down to the next aid station. We had begun running on the road and I couldn't help but think I didn't want this segment of the race to end. Today didn't feel as though we were racing but two friends running together having fun. Perhaps this isn't how you "race" but it was a nice distraction from the weeks loneliness on trail. 

We finished Palamar Sur Central Park and then transported the few kilometers to camp. The area was large and enabled campers to spread out their tents a bit. I immediately scheduled a massage and went to take a shower. If you know me, you know my feelings toward showering. This week I've showered everyday and sometimes twice a day, probably the most I've showered all year. My schedule back home is normally packed with work hours and training, normally my extra minutes between the two are either for cooking my meal or showering- guess which one I normally prefer. Showering during the Coastal Challenge is a necessity. The heat and humidity leave you constantly wet from sweat and sticky, a cold shower is the only reprieve. 

One of my favorite things about The Coastal Challange is that it's a small race, a little over 100 runners creates an intimate vibe. It's not just a days affair but a week of camping, eating, running alongside the same athletes. At one point I was sitting next to the top 5 males, eating and chatting for a few hours. This would never happen in any other race atmosphere. 

After chatting for what seemed like hours, I grabbed a pizza to myself and finally found my blow up pillow. Tomorrow will be our longest day yet, 50k to Drakes Bay and after today's run, I am quite looking forward to it.

Day 5

Photo by Hilary Ann

The issue I have with stage racing is knowing when to push, when to hold back and when to cruise. At what point do you know what to do? At this stage in the race I know everyday was merely an attempt to just finish without too much effort, guaranteeing energy for the days miles going forward. Today was no different, the idea of having someone to run with is ideal however I promised myself I'd go at my own pace, whatever that may be.  

Where's Sawna Photo by Ian Corless

Wake up time is 3am to be able to pack my belongings, eat breakfast, go to the bathroom and board the bus by 4:45am. Sleep was very minimal due to the heat and my poor choice of eating an entire pizza that just sat in my stomach, my body making its best attempt to digest it all night long. Every morning I've packed my belongings and with the incredible help of RLAGs Courtney and Dayna they've helped take down/put up our tent. Godsends those two were during the week! After packing my items I made my best attempt to eat my morning amount of Trail Butter for breakfast as I washed it down with coffee. I could get use to this morning ritual. Trail butter has been an instrumental asset to my training as I am not one to eat breakfast, the pouch of nutty goodness is nutrient dense in just a few bites and super easy to store. It can be a bit pricey at 6 dollars a pouch but being over 700 calories, that's well worth the cost. At least that's what I tell myself when I look at my bank account and go to trailbutter addiction meetings. HA. 

The bus ride dropped us off at Sierpe river entrance, we had to take a ferry across to the other side to begin the days 50k travels. From what I hear of the today, the course is very runnable on wide gravel roads. Playing to my strength of keeping a consitent pace, it felt great to just run. Ester and I ran together for very little time before I broke away and continued forward at my own pace. If there is one thing I know I'm good at, it's running hills at a consistent pace and today I was going to run my own day. 

After the first aid station the terrain stayed the same, gravel roads led to more gravel roads, the heat making more an appearance in this fully exposed terrain. The entire time, my stomach screamed with unhappiness. Perhaps by the pizza, or maybe, just maybe, because this is my 5th day running in the heat. I had stopped several times to pee and felt as though I was needing more and more water as the day pressed on. My stomach issues growing more apparent and my pee stops being more frequent- almost feeling as though I was getting a bladder infection, things got a bit painful. Despite the discomfort, I kept my pace and pressed on. Finally after over half the miles passed, technical forest section break up the gravel road and things got a bit interesting. 

I felt a bit dizzy running through the technical rainforest, thinking I needed to pee every few minutes but nothing but pain occurred. I continued to drink my gu hydration flask, hoping it would help this pain simmer down. Running through the rainforest created a more humid atmosphere as I tried to navigate my way around the branches and ferns when suddenly I heard some movement in the bushes ahead. Taking my eyes off the trail for a second, my feet trip on a something on the trail and my body plummets forward crashing into a tree alonside the trail. I hug the tree as if thanking it for saving me from a complete fall when I saw it. The thing that distracted me from running just ahead finally made an appearance as it slithered across the trail for what seemed like 15 seconds. A very large, fat, black snake. I hold onto the tree for dear life as it continued past the trail and across to the other side, away from me. I've always been a Gryffindor fan and perhaps this is the day I get punished for not choosing Slytherin. Harry Potter humor brings me back to reality as I carefully ran by the trail and sprinted past the snakes previous path. 

Well if that didn't wake me up, perhaps another snake encounter would, or something else. Before arriving at the estuary and aid station, you run along the beach and a short trail behind some houses. To my surprise these house do not have gates to protect you from guard dogs. Pretty vicious dogs may I add. As I run by these two dogs, one small and one rather big come at me barking and growling. The large dog begins to bite at my feet as I increase my pace, yelling at the dog to get away. He didn't ever bite me but was able to remove my left shoe as we play dug a war and I am able to run off, relieved and shoe in hand. The days adventure only continues.

Photos by Andres Vargas

After running around the peninsula and crossing the boat to avoid, you know, crocodiles, I finally arrived at the next aid station. From there you run a bit more forest trails, and at this point in the day the heat is blasting. I can see the beach from the trail, excited about how close I am, when I see something on the right side of the trail ahead of me. This time thin, brown with white diamonds on the back. A fleur de lance,  a highly venomous and deadly pit viper species. My stomach drops, heart racing as I see the snake slowly slither away in the opposite direction. I wait a moment before passing the trail in the opposite side and pick my speed up, trying to leave this area as quickly as possible. Arriving at the beach my heart rate begins to decrease and I settle into a slow rhythm, "I'm so close" I think to myself. I put another Gu Hydration tablet into my Salomon flask as I feel my body aching for something other than water, Gu being a great alternative but lets be honest, I dream of an ice cold coke. My bladder only feeling worse I continue forward, rest and a soda is in the near future. 

I arrived in Drakes bay 6 hours and 1 minute and in 2nd place later, heated, bladder pain but full of happiness. Stage 5- CHECK. The camp, hustled and bustled around me, not yet set up yet as I sit and reminiscence of the week so far. 5 days and over 130 miles done and I feel great. Despite perhaps having a bladder infection or whatever may be going on, I'm quite happy with my performance and ability to stay consistent. We are in Drakes bay! Ask me 5 days ago, I couldn't imagine today, being at the finish line, one more day to go. I had the rest of the day to relax, recover, swim, eat and enjoy with fellow racers and now friends. 

One more day, 14 more miles to go!

Day 6:

“Vamanos Suzanna” I can hear Ester calling me to keep running with her and Ragna. I catch up but can feel my right quad tense up when I increase my pace, I pace I just cannot withhold. Just before mile 6 I begin to back off, slowing enough to hold off my quad from seize up. “Do not cramp now, Sawna, you’re almost done”. "I have nothing left", I think to myself. I’m running on fumes.

Photo by Hilary Ann

I see them both leave the aid station as I quickly approach it. I notice Coconuts surrounding the table as the volunteer handed me a cup of coconut water. I declared my love for him as I chugged the sweet nectar and pressed on. I could see both Ester and Ragna off in the distance still on the beach, as I tried to push my pace, my quad quickly reminding me of its violent situation. 

Stellar group to be lined up with! Selfie by Kevin

Today, the 6th and final stage of the Coastal Challenge, is a mere 14 miles that incorporate a little bit of each terrain we had experienced the last 5 days. I remember sitting on the bus on day once and the main advice Josie had given me is to live in the moment, take each day at a time. I couldn't imagine being here, day 6 and 145 miles later. 

This morning were given the opportunity to sleep in, with a 7:30 start time we all took the morning activities at a leisurely pace. Lining up at the start line you could see everyone smiling from head to toe, excited that they've made it this far- the victory lap. Talking to Ester we had agreed we'd try to keep Ragnas pace. "I don't know if I can maintain it, but I'll try" I confirm. 

I couldn't keep pace, and that's ok. Perhaps if my quad wasn't seizing up, I could have. I do not know. I inevitably went back to my leisure pace, after 5 days it didn't falter. And just like that, 6 days 143 miles 33k in elevation gain, 30 hours 41 minutes and 3rd female- DONE. 

I've ran the miles, built relationships and created memories that will last a lifetime. The Coastal Challenge isn't just a stage race, it's an epic adventure that continues on, despite the miles ending. 

Photo by Hilary Ann

Photo by Hilary Ann

Photo by Hilary Ann

Photo by Andres Vargas

The finish line was a party, the cooks were making a feast, a small bar stand set up for cervesas while runners reminisced on the last 6 days of adventure. Beer in hand, the second beer I've had all year (had one right before the race) and well worth the wait!

Thank you to The Coastal Challenge for an incredible race. Thank you to the cooks who woke up EVERYDAY at 1 am to start  breakfast and worked till way after I went to bed each night, the food absolutely incredible. Thank you to the Run Like A Girl team, Hailey for "forcing" me to sign up and to Court and Dayna for their endless dedication and hard work to make racers more comfortable during the week. Thank you for the massage team for their countless hours and magic hands that helped ease my sore muscles. To the RLAG, Gu Energy, Goodr, Territory Run Co and Choose Mountains team for their constant support! 

Now as I sit beach side, between surfing and running I'm able to type my heart away in Santa Teresa. I can reflect on the last week, my experience and my want for more. Immediately I want to sign up again, obviously, but it'll take some time for me to pay off this current trip before I can think of investing in another race a year away. 

If I were to sign up again, a few tips on things to bring/not to bring:

• Hammock (plenty of trees to hang from, away from the ants of death)
• Blow up mattress (LUXURY) It's nice to bring out of tent and lay in the shade, away from the ants
• A bigger tent (bringing your tent helps, there's bit of a mess trying to find your tent everyday when you don't set it up yourself)
• Your own recovery shake-> Key to faster recovery and dense nutrition. I brought Vega performance protein and mixed it with chia/flax seed and a superfood green powder. Drank it everyday after each run and sometimes 2X.
• More nut butter. I ate a jar of nut butter during the RLAG retreat I worked the week prior and didn't want to eat Trail butter other than for breakfast in hopes to conserve what I had. Next time I'll bring more!
• More snacks, nuts, dried fruit, healthy alternatives to get more calories as a vegan. 
• Did NOT need my sleeping bag, created more hassle to pack things and took up too much room. 
• Brought too much leisure clothing. All you really need is one bathing suit, one comfy shorts/tank and maybe a dress for last day. 
• Heavy duty bug spray. The bugs are no joke. They will eat you alive and cause extreme discomfort. 
• 2 pairs sunglasses incase yours swim away/fall off the side of a cliff. 
• extra socks that you know your feet like. I re wore a few pairs of stance socks because my feet never blister in them and was nervous to wear anything else!
• Ear plugs are a necessity during the night and/or headphones. 
• Waterproof phone case
• Your own fuel for the race, do not depend on aid stations

A playlist featuring City of the Sun, Nicole Kidman, Queen, and others

DAY ONE

DAY TWO

DAY THREE

DAY FOUR

DAY FIVE

DAY SIX

Till next time! 

Peace, love and happiness

Welcome to Costa Rica

I sit in a hammock, unable to read, starring off into the distance. The scene so very different than that I’m accustomed to in Los Angeles. Where the city is full of cars and bodies of people hoping to make it big. Here, it couldn’t be so far down the opposite direction. Chakra Eco lodge, in Costa Rica, collects about 15 people from all over the world for a retreat or treat to a closer look at a more natural state of being. To be far from where phone signals exists and to be closer to nature and what occupies its lands.

I sit in my hammock, completely at peace. Most of the day we spent hiking through the rain forest to the high mountains that rest beside our lodge. A hike full of crystal clear waterfalls, roots, endless vegetation and rays of sunshine. I can’t help but be tranced by the clouds rolling through the valley. Cows of all colors and sizes graze along the ridge line adding some color to the vibrant green landscape they call home. Bursts of cobalt blue peak through the floating clouds as flocks of birds glide across toward the mountains. I can’t help but imagine where I will be this time next week. Shivers shoot down my body as the hair on my arm stand tall. I’ll be in the midst of running the Coastal Challenge, a six day stage race that runs through both heavy tropical forest and beach terrain. Six days, 147 miles and 31,304 ft of elevation gained.

“The course is set along Costa Rica’s tropical Pacific coastline but weaves at times into the Talamancas, a coastal mountain range in the Southwest corner of the country. You’ll finish near the border of Panama in a serene fishing village that until recently was only accessible by boat. ”

I’m both excited and terrifying of this experience. Being vulnerable to the terrain, the heat and to all the new people. I feel as though I am entering a new school with a different language. I don’t know what to expect. My training plan was very limited this season. After Zion Traverse and Ray miller 50 miler 3 days apart in early December, my days were filled with working hard and playing very little. With the Holidays in full force, I opted to spend more time with my family rather than skipping it to be in the mountains. January was filled with more work and quality time in bed plagued with first the flu, then bronchitis. With being sick and training very minimal, I promised myself I'd have a dry January and maybe even not drink till after the race, I needed to be healthy. Training didn't exist in my book and my only priority was to be well enough to board my flight to Costa Rica. 

 Life requires balance and most of all, patience. Patience was my focus for these last two months. There are those should've, could've, would've moments but it's something I try not to dwell on with training for these kinds of events. You must overcome the obstacles that is the course of life and in the end it may not be what you expected or hoped but the fact that I’m here despite the minor pebbles in my path is what the journey is truly about. No one's journey is always perfect and that is what I’m trying to grasp. "It’s OK, Sawna" I keep telling myself. "You’re in Cost Rica, if you end up walking the entire course- so be it!". As much as continue to push that belief onto myself, I'm not fooled. I'm rather disappointed in my choices and efforts coming into this race but in the end grateful for the opportunity to toe the start line.

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Photo by Hilary Ann

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Photo by Hilary Ann

As I finish my time here at Chakra , I begin to shift my focus to our final days in Dominical beach. Being here, in the environment already has been an incredible experience and I thank the universe and Run Like A Girl for the opportunity to call this "work". I begin to shift my thoughts away from work and more toward the Coastal Challenge as the days pass quickly. My thoughts about the race and my abilities are initially negative, but with a good support team here from the RLAG community, those thoughts have faded into only positive thoughts. I must keep focus on what's important.

Enjoy the process, the journey, terrain and most importantly HAVE FUN.  My one and only goal, to have fun. Yes, I’m a competitive person, however with a race like this how does one accomplish being competitive? It’s a whole new world to me(cue Aladdin song). Not only is the terrain different but the overall challenge ahead is unknown. What I do know is that I will be learning new things about myself through trials, pain, and adversity. I will be finding strength by ignoring the negative and surrounding myself with only positive thoughts and energy.

We each have our own individual reasons we do what we do, and my reason, whatever that may be this week, will drive me beyond my limits. I will seek it, I will find it and I will push farther. 

Coastal Challenge HERE I COME!

Packing List:

• Boa Shorts(ALL THE FUN PRINTS)
•  Stance socks
• Ridge Supple Socks
• Rlag Visor/buffs
• Territory Run CO Hat/bisor/socks
• Salomon 12L Vest
• LifeStraw
• Suunto watch
• Inov8 TrailRoc 285 X2
• Salomon Sense Pro's 2
• Goodr Shades X2
• Trail Butter
• Dates stuffed with pecans + sea salt
• Gu gels/electrolytes/chews
• Vega Protein
• Super Green Mix
• Roll Recovery R8
• Black Diamond Hiking poles
• Choose Mountains Buff/Bandanna(My colar bone chafes)
• AND a photo of my main gal so I can channel her energy and happiness during the race ;)

Lettuce taco 'bout Junipers Birthday

As I sit here at a coffee shop at the airport in Mexico City, I look down and all I can see is Junipers hair. Its everywhere! On my tights, on my purse, on my sweater, my nose starts to tingle and my eyes begin to water, it's been less than 8 hours and I miss her with my entire heart. 

Yesterday myself and a few friends met at early at the dirt Mulholland trailhead for a sunrise run. Who cares about saying bye to me, really, they came to wish Juniper a happy birthday. On February 4th, Juniper turns 4. It's not her exact birthday, a date known only by who left her on the side of the highway at a few months old, but what the vet estimated would be her birthday. 

Someday's I catch myself staring at her, most of the time it's during a run, other times it's when she's curled up in a tiny ball sleeping. I think to myself "How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve you? Why do you love me so much?". There are days when she'll go out for a 30 mile run, no problem, stick by my side, and radiate with happiness the entire time. Other days she perfectly content sitting on my lap on my living room chair, just being cuddled like a puppy. 

4 years old.

Time does fly when you're having fun. She's my partner in crime, my baby girl and most of all, the love of my life. Despite not being there for her actual birthday, I celebrate her birth everyday. I thank the universe for the person who abandoned the sweet puppy, because it led her to me.

Here's to many many MANY MANY MANY MORE years of extreme amounts of epic adventures and endless cuddles. 

Here's some(lots) of my favorite moments shared with my lovebug!

Goodbye Flu, hello trails!

With the new year came a sickness that sidelined any prospective training that I hoped to achieve this month. I ran less and focused more on rest and the occasional hot yoga to stretch and sweat the tightness away. This last week, however, was heavenly. All of a sudden when Monday rolled around- POOF! My sickness had disappeared, I had finally two solid nights without the cough of death and I couldn't be more ecstatic! On Monday I thought it was merely a test from my body and had went for another hot yoga class and to work without even considering running. I thought to myself, maybe I can run this week. Perhaps this plague is finally gone and I can spend some quality time outdoors. The thought sent shivers down my spine, oh the outdoors! I look over to Juniper who was laying on her bed looking bored. We are going on some adventures! I stated as I picked her up, fumbled a bit, and hugged her so tight she started to lick me face to stop.

GRIFFITH PARK, HOLLYWOOD

Tuesday I woke up with excitement, another night of peaceful sleep. WHAT A JOY! Juniper and I managed to do a tempo run up to the Hollywood sign that left me smiling from cheek to cheek. I live about a mile from Bronson Canyon and the batcaves- you know, where the filmed batman, and it's normally my go to entry point for the Griffith Park trails. In Griffith Park it's a choose your own adventures trails, with immediate scrambles that take you straight to the Hollywood sign or pristine fire road that, although take a handful of miles, will also lead you to the Hollywood Sign and Observatory. There is also great opportunities to skip the fire road and head straight to lush single track, but today we stuck to fire road and were able to let Juniper off leash as we managed to keep a faster pace than normal.

Afterward I recovered with a walk to the climbing gym to work on a few problems. As I sat in the Sauna afterward I pondered the rest of my week, I had some free time to devote to "time on feet" in the mountains and I wanted to choose it wisely with my Costa Rica trip approaching soon and with a nice little wind storm blowing our way Friday and Saturday. I giggle with excitement- the opportunities are endless.

BACKBONE TRAILS, MALIBU

Initially for Wednesday I figured I'd do a long run on Mt Baldy but with the current snow conditions I didn't think it would be quality training for the heat in CR, although, what in January would be? Instead I figured a good 'ol run on the Backbone trail in Malibu would suffice. This trail offers single track, fire road and ocean vistas in a 22 mile lolipop loop that is part of the Sean O'Brien 50 mile and 100k course. I have some fantastic memories with friends on this trail and one not so very fantastic memory of the actual race four years ago. Overall it's a great loop if you're looking for something that consist of more running and rays of sunshine.

We parked at the trail head and were ready to go by 8:30am. At first I had Juniper off leash but with a distance like this I quickly grabbed her raddog leash (that looks like just a collar) and kept her close- I didn't want her to get too tired too quickly. The first part of the trail is single track for about 3 miles and opens up to Zuma Ridge fire road for a small climb up to Buzzards Roost where you get a beautiful view of Malibu and sometimes, if weather permits, Channel Islands. Following the fire road down, it's hard not to focus on the ocean, a view I'm not accustomed to seeing on my normal long runs. Once we got to the parking lot at the bottom of the fire road, I was able to give Juniper lots of water and a few treats before heading back onto a single track to Canyon View trail- back up we go. At this point it was getting very warm and without having to hold onto Junipers leash she stayed right infront of me. She's pretty good at staying close to the person that will give her treats and water! I could feel my shoulders getting sun kissed as we continued to climb up the trail as my friend Phil commented that we'd be in polar opposite conditions on Mt Baldy. I didn't realize how hot it was going to get, both Phil and I were drenched as we hiked and jogged up the single track. During the climb I had picked a few ticks off that I notice had jumped on Junipers fur and I was instantly disgusted. Ticks give me the hibeegeebees. Blah. Excuse me while I go shower from disgust.

I kept Juniper on her leash closer to me, thinking that the farther away from the brush we were- the less likely she'd get ticked. Once we got the the fire road to run down I stopped to give Juniper water and there may have been 12 new ticks on her fur. Poor Juniper waited ever so patiently as I aggressively shook them off her in sheer frustration. About a few feet later she had 5 more jump on her. If there was a way to say "Hey trail, I'm done!" I wouldn't stopped running right there and then. The idea of having to constantly brush Junipers fur of ticks made me not want to continue- but what needed to be done, I realized, was to run faster. After 15 minutes thoroughly checking her back, neck and chest we started to run down the fire road. I found that if we didn't stop, the ticks would have the least amount of time to jump on her.

We ran down to the creek and as I sprayed some water on my neck, Juniper was able to cool her body in the cold water. I stared at the water, her fur and continued to stare at her fur the duration of the loop. I couldn't tell you how many ticks I flicked off despite having her close to me on lead.

We ran, when I say ran I mean jogged very slowly, back up to Buzzards Roost. With Juniper on leash and my water getting low, we flew down the fire road and jogged back to Kanan were the safety of the car and a coca cola waited. I then proceeded to pick more ticks off Juniper- OH THE JOY. This area isn't normally infested with ticks but we did just get our first rain storm last week and they are everywhere, not just on the Backbone trail. The best part was after all the time brushing the off Juniper I felt as though they were crawling all over me. A hair tickle- omg it's a tick, my backpack strap touched my arm- omg it's a tick, my shoe lace on my ankle- oh wait no, that's a tick crawling up my leg. I shivered with disgust as I flicked it off me. Giving my body another check of possible crawling monsters before I said farewell to the BB trail, it'll be a while before I return. Cue tick nightmares for the next week. 

WESTRIDGE TRAILS, SANTA MONICA

On Thursday I had initially planned to run with the Socal Coyotes at 6am in Santa Monica but ALAS! I had woke up at 6 am realizing I had forgotten to set me alarm. Whoops. I had an appointment to renew my passport and the office is located in Westwood. What a breeze that was- signed, sealed, delivered and I'm off to CR soon! Since I was already on the Westside I figured it was a great opportunity to run one of the trails in Santa Monica- Westridge trail being the closest. Technically the trail would be considered Los Angeles, with countless connectors it can take you to Topanga Canyon, The Valley, Brentwood, Santa Monica and if you want a really long run, Malibu. The best thing about these trails are that you choose your own adventure; single track scrambles, long fire roads, nice climbs or all flat- you choose. I stuck to the flat fire road and was able to lose track of time as I shook my heavy legs through Westride and to Topanga Canyon and back for a nice unplanned 16 mile. Once I arrived back at my car I realized it was 75 degrees out which made the exposed fireroad even more heated- not a bad heat training day! Pretty stoked with the days event I was able to chill for a few hours with Juniper and head back to the West Side for some recovery hours at the climbing gym with fellow coyote Pedro. Productive day indeed!

STRAWBERRY PEAK, SAN GABRIEL MOUNTAINS

I woke up feeling a bit depleted. I knew I hadn't drank enough water- big NO NO, Sawna. I slept poorly as the wind roared against the window beside me. Juniper and I haphazardly collected ourselves and set out for another run, this time meeting in the San Gabriel Mountains. as I prepared to leave, ominous dark clouds blanketed the sky as the roaring wind whipped the palm trees from side to side, leaving me thinking that today may not be all that sunshine I was hoping for. As I exited the freeway and started up highway 2 my fears quickly disappeared as I drove out of the dark clouds and into a cobalt blue sky. Feeling like I just entered a Disney movie as birds began to sing, butterflies landing on my mirror, squirrels talking on nearby trees all welcoming me to paradise- you know, the whole shebang. Shockingly at 8am in Los Angeles, I cruised on the freeway and along HWY 2 and was parked at the trail head 30 minutes later- this must be a personal record. Andrew, Rhea and their paw-sitively energized furkid, Lola, showed up just a few minutes later. We ensured we had all the necessary gear as Juniper and Lola chased each other and then we were off on the trail that led us up Colby Canyon, one of the trails that connects to both Josephine peak and Strawberry Peak.

Our destination today was not Strawberry Peak itself but around it. With the winds being over 25 mph at the peak we figured we'd avoid the extra mile to the top and continued on, making a big loop. We began running on the trail, fur kids chasing each other up and down the trail as we crossed a few stream beds that led us to up the canyon. As we hiked up the switch backs to the saddle, we couldn't help but admire being above the marshmallow clouds. It had been a couple of weeks since last seeing Andrew and Rhea, we had spent those first few miles catching up, but at this point we couldn't help but talk about how beautiful the day was. As we approached the saddle we couldn't help but feel giddy for the day. There were two other guys who had just left the saddle and began hiking up the neighboring peak as we set out on the single track to Strawberry meadow. The single track runs along the canyon side as we loop around to the back of Strawberry peak and then proceed to go down to the Meadow before shooting back up to the Strawberry Peak saddle. Before we turned the corner I stopped to take a few photos of Andrew and Rhea together and noticed the two guys that had set out before us were standing on top of the peak looking over the blanket of clouds- it was a beautiful sight.  

As we turned to the backside of the mountain and began to run down into the meadow we couldn't help but admire the soft trail under our feet and beautiful sky full of cumulus clouds above us. Both Lola and Juniper continued to chase each other, back and forth, as we all stabilized ourselves trying to not get knocked over. Their happiness shown from the smiles on their faces to their tails wagging so deeply that their bodies moved along with it. 

Once we reached the Strawberry saddle we finally got a taste of the 25 mph winds, sending any warmth from the sun away. Both Rhea and I instantly put our windbreakers on as we stopped to take a few photos. We continued running along the single track toward Red box when I spotted a tick on Juniper. Not again! I thought. I brushed it off and we scanned both Juniper and Lola for any others. 'Tis the season. As we passed Red Box and continued down to Switzer Falls we began running into the clouds. The air moist and the blue sky quickly disappearing into the dense fog it was refreshing to be running in such a different range of weather. We finished the run with a jog down highway 2 to our cars and some quality time searching for my ticks, you know, my favorite. 

The day didn't end there. We left the San Gabes, back to the city, for some quality fuel at Vin Loh, a Vietnamese vegan joint that is located in an unassuming strip mall deep in the heart of Reseda. Kevin Tran, the owner, is know for his athleticism and good judgement, will suggest something better than what's on the menu. Tell him what flavors, textures you're in the mood for and he'll bring you the best dish in the house- the food is that good.  We picked up a few different dishes and headed to Andrew and Rheas house. As we sat in their backyard enjoying the food, both Juniper and Lola continued to play, unphased of the 14 miles ran earlier.

Afterward we hung around the climbing gym until our hands and arms too sore. It was a multi sport kind-of day!

MT WILSON, SAN GABRIEL MOUNTAINS

I wake to hear the strong winds roaring outside. From my window in the loft I see the palm trees that line my neighborhood swaying side to side, looking as if they'll snap any minute. I look down from my pillow and spot Juniper passed out on her dog bed, unaware of me starring as I begin to climb down the ladder. I shoot Pedro a text about today's run, maybe altering our original course to something less exposed to the wind, he quickly agreed. I take Juniper for a quick jaunt before packing my things to leave. This week has been great for her, lots of time with friends and hours on the trails that deserve a nice day off to get some quality rest. She sits by the door as I continue to pack, her eyes begging me to let her join the party. Rest, Juniper, you need rest. She continues to plead with her eyes as I try to leave. I motion her to go to her bed as I quickly make my exit. 

I'm sitting in my car, as I turn the ignition to start Junipers eyes burn my mind. "Well, we have adjusted the miles today, so it's not too long", I think to myself. I've convinced myself. I turn my car off, run upstairs and grab a bag of her favorite Zukes treats and call her over- "JUNIPER, LETS GOOOOO!". Her face gleaming and her body shaking from not being able to contain the excitement. She wisps by me and almost slides into the hallway wall as she flies down the stairs and sits by the car door as if to say "Come on Mom, you're moving too slow- ADVENTURE AWAITS!". 

We park about a mile from Chantry Flats trail head as the main parking area was completely full. Cars lined the side of the road in every which way possible in order to park as close to the main trail as possible. We jog our way up and begin running past Chantry parking lot up toward the winter creek trail to upper winter creek. I keep Juniper on leash the entire climb in hopes that she saves any energy she would normally use running circles around us instead of staying beside us. The weather was perfect, tucked inside the trees we could feel a slight cold breeze, but nothing of the 30 mph winds predicted. I kept my long sleeve on knowing that the peak was only going to get colder. We continued climbing, settling into a nice comfortable hike. We both agreed that we wanted to take the run moderately easy in order to have sufficient energy to spend at the climbing gym afterward. 

Our route led us to the Mt Wilson observatory. The peak was 32 degrees and windy. My hands and face frozen as Pedro and I began running, more like shuffling, trying not to step on any of the ice covering section on the ground. Of all the dozens of times I've ran around Wilson, I have never been to it's lookout. Shocked. Amazed. Baffled. Crazed. I don't know what I was thinking. Pedro showed me where it was and my mind was blown. 

The look out was shockingly warm and we embraced it's heat as we defrosted a bit before heading down the trail. I have to admit, I was uncomfortably cold. With gloves and a long sleeve, I could've definitely found comfort in one more layer. But ALAS! We focused on just moving to maintain heat.

 Both Pedro and I have yet to run Mt Wilson's rim trail and today seemed like a fitting day to both experience it's wonders. And boy was it wonderful. The air crisp, the ground soft and gentle yet offering a very thin single track that demanded attention. I lead the way as Juniper, now off leash, stayed between Pedro and me. Pockets of frigid air gave way to the warmth of the sun as we cruised down in a single line, passing several green patches of tall trees with leaves of orange, yellow and some bearing no leaves at all. As we approached Newcombs saddle we stopped to savor the moments passed, a trail I had failed to experience for years welcoming us with its beauty and minimal technicality. I take a glance at Juniper, happy as can be, ready for more miles as she smiles eagerly at me. "I can't believe you almost didn't experience this" I think to myself. Juniper, off leash still, leads the way. The excited pup begins to prance, soaking in the sun as her tongue flops to the side of her face, offering the trail a wide open smile as she gracefully glides down. 

As we continue running down, we pass several streams. With each stream passing, the water fueling Junipers energy as she speeds up and runs harder and faster through the canyon. This girl is unstoppable. After a long week outdoors I truly thought she would be tired, but her stamina and strength continues to surprise me. As we climb the road back to the Chantry parking lot we pass several dozen people and their dogs. Juniper, by my side, looks up at me with each passing dog- knowing full well she'll get a treat if she stays by my side instead of bolting to say hi to the dog. Not only is she fast and strong, she's one smart pup.

Another day of adventuring in the mountains and then a few hours of bouldering at the gym is pretty much my favorite kind of day. I ended the night at a friends house in the hills for a get together with some fellow Team In Training teammates. Still to this day, I can't believe how far I've come. Training for my first marathon almost 6 years ago and then entering the Ultra community. How my life has shaped ever so differently than I expected, and how I'm so thankful for what I have and the beautiful people that surround me. 

Since this week of adventuring, Juniper and I have enjoyed several more outings with friends as I prepare to take off to Costa Rica. That's another story in itself. 

Alright, time for me to shower these stinky feet and head to the airport. Headed to Costa Rica for 6 weeks. 

Till next time,

Peace, love and happiness

Treat Yo'Self- Recovery Protein Pancakes

I woke up Monday morning with a thirst I couldn't seem to quench. I was hungry, but for what? I wanted something filling, and fulfilling. Sunday I spent most of my day running in the San Gabriel Mountains with friends, 22 miles with over 6 thousand in vertical feet gained. We were determined to enjoy the last of the dry weather as there was a huge storm approaching, hopefully bringing the dry California mountains some snow at last. 

Mile 4 of 22- Mt Baden Powell

TRAIL BUTTER ADDICT

Back to food, what my life revolves around. I had struggled to prepare anything for dinner the night before due to lack of groceries and this morning I found myself on the same struggle train. The only thing I had all the ingredients for was, coincidentally enough, what my body was pulling for- PANCAKES. Normally I don't keep any sweets or treats in my apartment- because Sawna likes to snack hard. With pancakes I like to see it as fueling my body for recovery. You can adjust them to your taste buds but for the most part it's my healthy version of my childhood favorite breakfast!

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup oats 
• 1/4 cup protein powder (I use vega sports vanilla)
• 1 tbsp baking poweder
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• tsp of ground flax
• heaping of chia seed
• heaping of hemp seed
• 1 flax egg (1 tsp of flax meal + 2.5 tsp of water mixed alone and left for a few min)
• 1 cup water + more as needed (or almond milk)

OPTIONAL

• Blueberries/Bananas 
• Pecan butter/Almond butter/Peanut butter

INSTURCTIONS

1. Mix the dry ingredients together in a bowl.
2. Slowly mix water into the dry ingredients. Add flax egg last. 
3. Place pan on burner(on high- I find that it cooks fully and doesn't break when the temperature is closer to high) with a little bit of coconut oil/your choice of cooking oil. 
4. When mixture is poured onto plan, disperse evenly and add blueberries/sliced bananas. Wait until bubbles appear in the center of each pancake and when you think its ready- give it a good 30 seconds longer. FLip and cook for a few more minutes. 
5. Add your favorite nut butter on top and if you're feeling extra frisky- add some syrup. I use organic maple syrup from thrive market. 
6. It makes about 6 pancakes. Serves 2 or one hungry Sawna.
7. TREAT YO'SELF

NOTES

1. These are oat pancakes so they tend to be on the heavier side- to make them thinner and a bit more fluffy you can use Gluten Free flour. I've used the one from Trader Joes and it definitely fluffier and less heavy. 
2. When pouring the water, it's not supposed to be runny. The mixture should stay a bit thick but not cookie batter thick. The more liquid you had- the more likely it will break when you flip it. -----> learned form experience. 
3. Normally I use just pecan butter on my pancakes but I had just received a new container of maple syrup and was feeling extra sweet... either way they will fill you up!

ENJOY!

New Year, same me!

Hello 2018! It's meeeee Sawna. 

Grand Canyon before R2R2R in October (first time visiting the Grand Canyon=Mind Blown)

Naturally I say that in the most annoying voice I could possibly muster. For some reason the last couple of years I have rang in the new year with NyQuil by my side or at least some kind of cold remedy. This year was no different. Despite having a race in about a month I've seemed to be taking a very long pause in training, and you know what, that's ok. 

With the holidays comes longer work hours and days spent with the family, things I can't really change and wouldn't even if I wanted to. Precious moments I'd never be able to get back and memories that will last me a lifetime have been made but also my good friend, the cold, was going around like the plague. Hello cold, it's good to see you again.  

During a less than 24 hour visit to Joshua Tree in December

Either way, its 2018 and I'm still here. I've never been huge on New Years resolution or trying to do something I'm not really motivated to do or inspired to achieve because if I was I wouldn't wait for January to do it. Looking back at the last 365 days, heck- even the last 90 days, I've snagged any opportunity available, sought out adventure, experienced life way outside my comfort level, and pushed my limits until my muscles and my tear ducts cried. This last 12 months have been one for the books, jam packed full of memories and experiences I'd like to remember to the fullest. In saying that, my goal for this coming year is to make a conscious effort to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard- however you'd like to see it. I want to use the thousands of photos I've taken of countless states I've driven through, nation parks I've visited and every possible facial expression Juniper may have that I've documented.  

Angels Landing, Zion NP in late November. The day after running Zion Traverse

I'm ending 2017 with an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment, truly excited to see what is to come. 365 opportunities to be the best version of myself possible, to seek out opportunity for growth and overall any kind of experience that will make me happy. I don't know about you but I'm excited for 2018 and the opportunities and adventure that will come with it. 

With my mane girl Juniper. I'd be lion if I didn't say she's the love of my life! 

Lets do this!

White Mountain Windy Wonderland

I push forward with all my strength. In any other circumstance I'd completely fall over, however, with 35 mph winds- I can barely stand. I need to eat something, yet my hands are too frozen to open anything. I need to pee, but again, my hands are too frozen and the wind too strong to squat for a quick pee break. I don't think I've ever truly considered pee-ing my pants until this very moment. Lani, who's just ahead of me, is struggling to stay up straight against the wind. Juniper, who's behind Lani has her tongue out and tail wagging, icicles on her fur shimmering in the light, turns her head around each corner of the mountain, making sure I was still behind them. The thought of turning back never crossed my mind, but I questioned my sanity the entire time. Not just mine, but Lani's and Juniper's. This is something we chose; to be nearly frozen, to have all articles of clothing on and yet not warm, and to nearly be blown off a mountain- all for fun. I need to look up the definition of fun, because I think its somehow gotten lost in translation these last few years of adventuring. 

TYPE 1 FUN: Enjoyable while it's happening. Just simply fun! Good food, good company, good weather. When everything just works out. 

TYPE 2 FUN: Begins with the best intention but normally things get carried away. Miserable while it's happening, something to laugh about in retrospect. You can say it was "fun" once time has passed and your far from the moment. 

TYPE 3 FUN: "What the hell was I thinking?" actions. Not fun at all. Not even in retrospect. Wanting to cry but too scared and stirred up to actually muster the tears.

I don't really know where I would rate this particular event on this specific mountain. But I can honestly say it WAS NOT TYPE ONE FUN. 

Just two weeks before Lani returned home. She had spent 5 months on a very long walk along the Pacific Crest Trail. That's 5 months too long away if you ask me and I truly missed my friend. Since then I made a solid effort to spend quality time with her, if it wasn't on a mountain top, it was at home with our fur babies as we ate immense amounts of food while burping beautiful melodies and making the air around us smell like roses. Since then we ran along the streets of Hollywood, climbed one of our local mountains, Mt Luekens, conquered the C2C2C (Cactus to Clouds to Cactus) and now we were off to the Sierra for my two days off from work. What a weird feeling to drive somewhere that, just a few months ago, she had walked across. My mind still can't seem to grasp all that she had to endure. 

With the sun setting completely by 6pm, we were off to a dark start. We burped, she farted- it was all so wonderful and pretty smelly if you ask me. After some debate on where to camp we settled on a little hideaway spot in Alabama Hills. It was a little past 10pm and I was laying on the ground, fur baby in my sleeping bag, trail wife in the tent next to me, tons of cookies/beer in my belly, and a big on cheesy smile smacked on my face as my head it the... ground (at the time I didn't have a camping pillow). The moon was bright and lit the boulders surrounding our little nook as we slept our LA worries away. And boy did I sleep wonderfully. My eyes opened right at 6am, just about the same time my arm started tingling from loosing blood circulation from snuggling with Juniper too hard. As if that would really be an issue. We rose quickly in hopes to watch the sunlight give Mt Whitney a good morning kiss. I grabbed my camera, Junipers ruffwear jacket and we were off on a little hike.

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Later that morning, after Lani got up, we packed up, made coffee and did an outfit change from the dramatic 30 degree weather shift... she showed me more of Alabama hills that I've never truly explored. See, Alabama Hills is the gateway to the Sierra, its what you have to pass to get up to the Whitney Portal and very close to Horseshoe Meadow as well, and it's a nice pit stop along the scenic 395. I never really stopped when I knew that mountains where OH SO CLOSE. 

After running around Alabama Hills we then headed off to our next destination, White Mountain. White Mountain Peak is located northeast of Bishop and is the third highest peak in California and is the highest outside of the Sierra Nevada. Part of the Inyo-White Mountains which have some of the oldest sedimentary rocks in CA with fossils nearly 600 million years old. The White and Inyo Mountains have a desert-like appearance and the perfect conditions for the world's oldest living trees, the Ancient Bristlecone Pines. Some trees are over 4,700 years old! While en route to White Mountain peak, you can see the trees off the road. The most important part of this wasn't that it was another California 14er to climb or that we would be seeing the Bristlecone Pines but it allows dogs. That right there was why I was motivated to go. But sitting in the car an hour and a half later, still not there and on the verge of a heart attack- I was rethinking my motivation. You see, the drive to the trail head can actually take longer than the run itself. Neither Lani, nor I (and certainley not Juniper) did any research before saying, 'Yes!' to this trip. All we knew was this was a California 14er that needed to be crushed. She put the information into google maps and we were off- never really taking into account the estimated duration of time. The last 16 miles to the trail head is on a dirt road that normally you would want to have 4wd.  

Picture this: Sawna driving her non 4wd Ford Escape up a very steep one car at a time only road with a steep drop off on one side and VERY large rocks to go over while almost in tears, heavy breathing and about to scream while Lani eats popcorn asking to pull over because she has to pee all while Junipers head is out the window, tongue out, giving zero shits, probably wondering when we were going to adventure already. Finally, after a few miles of panic attack mode, the road widens and levels out for me to stop and let Lani pee while I just get out of my car and lay on the ground nearly in tears. The idea that just a few months ago my friends who drove on this road with their new Subaru and got a flat tire floating in my memory. 

We finally arrive at the trail head and I open the door only to get it immediately shut again. I attempt to open it again this time with more muscle and pushed it open while the wind made its best attempt to smack it right back closed. I run around the car and check every tire, just in case and proceeded to get back into the car. It's windy AF, both Lani and I give each other the "This is going to be fun" look as we realize our shorts and tanks were going to blow right off with this 35 mph freezing winds and we are not here to re-inact girls gone wild even though we are girls and lets be honest we are pretty wild... but ya'll know what I mean. 

About 20 minutes later we were dressed to impress and ready to rumble our way up White Mountain. 

Smile is completely forced. Articles of clothing included tank, long sleeve, puffy underneath the windbreaker, shorts, pants, beanie and gloves.

Not only did Lani and I not really check how long the drive would take, we didn't really look at what the trail looked like. I had heard that it would be the easiest 14er you could climb considering the trail head spits you out at 12k. The area is essentially an exposed desert mountain, with no water or shade along the way to the mountain. This also means there are no trees or other natural barriers to block the wind as you follow the dirt road all the way to the summit. I would imagine this is what Mars would look like.

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I think without the 35mph winds it would've been easy, but considering we had to struggle to stay up right it was pretty difficult. The sun was warm but the wind swept away any heat we may have enjoyed but we continued forward on the dirt road. I tried to run the first section of trail and quickly gave into a hike that planted my feet firmly on the ground, less likely to blow over. I brought my Sony A6000 to take photos but found that most of the time my hands were too frozen to bare the thought of taking off my gloves. I'd run a section of the trail to snap photos of the scenery and ofcourse of Lani and Juniper but that was the jist of it. I stopped a few times to give Juniper water and realized that any water that landed on her fur turned into icycles that shimmered as she ran along the trail. She was loving our time outside while Lani and I were enjoying our type 2 maybe type 3 adventure. 

The last mile of the trail was the most difficult as it was nearing the peak. Completely exposed to the force of the wind I push forward with all my strength. In any other circumstance I'd completely fall over, however, with the winds- I can barely stand. I need to eat something, I haven't managed to eat anything since the beginning, yet my hands are too frozen to open anything. I need to pee, but again, my hands are too frozen and the wind to strong to pause for a quick pee break. I don't think I've ever truly considered pee-ing my pants until this very moment. Considering that the pants had been borrowed from my friend Mike, I settled on holding my bladder until the appropriate time. Lani, who's just ahead of me, is struggling to stay up straight against the wind. Juniper, who's behind Lani has her tongue out and tail wagging, icicles on her fur shimmering in the light, turns her head around each corner of the mountain, making sure I was still behind them. Trying to capture the moment, I struggle to put the lens cap on my camera and fall behind yet again. The thought of turning back never crossed my mind, but I questioned my sanity the entire time. Not just mine, but Lanis and Junipers. This is something we chose; to be nearly frozen, to have all articles of clothing on, and to nearly be blown off a mountain- all for fun.

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We stood at the top- attempted to snap a photo but with frozen hands barely managed. We quickly turned around- without any words I can see Lani's eyes and received the "Lets get off this mountain" look while Juniper was happy AF, it's as if she has her head out the car window, she couldn't be happier. 

We run as fast as the wind, snow and ice would let us back to the car. The idea that all my tires are flat was constantly going through my head, but at this point, if I could survive that frigid wind, I could survive any sort of car issue. I felt unstoppable. We jumped into the car, took some layers off and just laughed. But we really didn't laugh, it was more of a moan because our faces were frozen, but the laugh was there, merely masked by frozen skin. I sat there for a few minutes trying to warm my hands, my frozen fingers unable to have the strength to turn the ignition to start and once I did we had the heater on full force and we were off- back to warmth and civilization and beer. The big old bad rocks that nearly gave me a panic attack on our way up seemed like mere pebbles now as I sped down the once frightening road. Remembering the last couple hours of torture we call fun as we drooled over the sunset.

THE SUNSET WAS INCREDIBLE. 

Uploaded by Sawna Guadarrama on 2018-01-03.

(I somehow have only purchased Taylor Swift albums- so that will be the soundtrack to all my videos)

The sun quickly set as we drove passed the ancient Bristlecone pines and straight to Bishop Brewery were we met up with my friends Dave and Shauna visiting from Squamish, BC. They had just climbed Mt Whitney for the first time in the same weather conditions and we all sat there looking pretty beat up by Mother Nature. That night we decided to camp at the Buttermilks, we quickly set up camp and without a word everyone passed out. Well at least Lani and I set our tents right up against each other and giggled and munched on snacks before finally going to sleep. 

The next day we took our time to pack up camp, eat breakfast in Bishop and explore Big Pines. We managed to wonder around Big Pines lake and North Fork Loop trail and we were glad we did, it was gorgeous. 

After parting ways with our Canadian friends we mustered the strength to drive back to LA. Back to our jobs, traffic and the sounds of constant sirens.

When I first started writing this post in November, I would've quickly exclaimed my feelings toward not attempting White Mountain again. Not because of the trail but because of the drive. Now that I've decided to finish this post, two months later, I've had time to simmer on my thoughts, our experience and my feelings about the entire trip and I think I definitely would go back. Preferably not being the one to drive, but I'd like to make more of a day out of it, visit the ancient Bristlecone forest and actually run all the way to White Mountain Peak. I feel as though it is definitely the easiest of any 14er I've done and would like to have the opportunity to enjoy it sans wind. 

Till next time.

Peace love and all the happiness,

Sawna 

Wild in Alaska

With recent fire devastation all throughout the west; LA, NorCal, Oregon, Washington and Montana. I can't help but feel a sense of guilt, guilt that I didn't appreciate the land as much as I should. Guilt that I didn't explore as much as I could have. Guilt that I may never get a chance to run, wander, see or just appreciate some of this gorgeous land again due to these horrific fires! It hurts my heart to see what beauty is now engulfed in flames. The trouble is- I thought I had time. This is a reminder that time is fleeting, our land- its beauty is fragile and constantly changing, mostly for the worst. I have a magnetic pull, stronger now more so than ever, to get out and explore deeper and deeper into our beautiful lands. I want to know more, I need to see more and touch what's out there! Now it's not about having time, but rather making time. I want to work hard but play harder. We do not have unlimited chances in life to have the things nor do the things that we want. I want to seize that opportunity when it knocks and be spontaneous when I can. Now is a pretty good time to start...

Photo: Kate Arnold

Sometime in September...

I'm sitting on the plane, two dark chocolate wrappers in hand- empty. 

Thinking about how I was brutally attacked in the airport and forced to buy these chocolate bars. When I say brutally attacked? I mean, my attacker was also female and her weapon- the cash register that stood behind the counter at the magazine stand. But same thing, right? How could she do this to me?

Really, I'm thinking about the last five days. Was it just a mere dream? A sick fantasy that seemed all too true? 

It was in fact, reality. I was alive- I truly lived the last five days... A thought I was still trying to grasp. 

How did this happen? How did I end up in Alaska? A place forever on my bucket list but so far from fruition, I never actually expected to visit. 

Let me tell you a story... I promise I'll give you the cliff notes version. 

It was a cold, dark and stormy evening here in Hollywood, CA. Last December I was drinking a few local beers keeping myself warm and toasty by my little space heater (pretty sure I was in a tank top and shorts). Skimming though social media, I come across a post by Run Like A Girl. It stated they were looking for ambassadors for the following year; 2017. They're a group of girls that inspire, motivate, encourage and give back to the community. After religiously loving all of Hailey's(one of the three awesome RLAG girls) posts, I eagerly filled out the application. 

I thank those couple I.P.A's I drank that evening because a few short weeks later, I was notified that I was one of a handful that were chosen to represent the RLAG brand. Cue "I've got the golden ticket" song from Willie Wonka!

One month later I was asked to help lead one of their Costa Rica retreats alongside Hailey, awesome right? Yes, yes and yes. I instantly fell in love with this group of girls, what they stood for and their community. I couldn't get enough! Along with the majority of quazi local ambassadors, we flew to Canada to participate in the Be Fearless Race held in Squamish, B.C.. A race in which the ladies of RLAG organize on the beautiful Squamish trails to raise money for the Canadian Mental Health Association. I ran the Trail Marathon with two other Ambassadors, Magen from Texas and Kate from Alaska. Although there were a slew of other runners, we stuck by each others side the entire time, we supported each other, got to know each other, took tons of photos and giggled our way to the finish! It was more a trail run together than an actual "race". I had met Magen in Costa Rica but that weekend the three of us connected on another level. It was a dream weekend spent with some incredible women, not just with Magen and and Kate but with all the girls. The community the RLAG girls have built is nothing short of inspiring. Their supporters, both men and women, radiate love for life; each other and their communities. I had planned to write about it but have yet to- it was an experience that truly touched my heart. I felt supported and loved by this group instantly despite my bad jokes, terrible boomerang dance moves, lack of showering and endless pit of a stomach.

All the dance moves

Uploaded by Sawna Guadarrama on 2017-10-29.

Throughout the summer I kept in touch with the girls from RLAG along with both Magen and Kate through text messages and social media. Since then I had returned to Squamish to help on another adventure retreat with RLAG, but I'd still droll over Kates photos of her life in Alaska- it looked unreal. I had playfully asked about visiting and possible dates and shared the idea with Magen. A possible reunion? It wasn't reality until Magen booked her ticket for those exact dates... instantly my playful idea was coming to life. We're going to Alaska. 

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 7th.

I ran out of the airplane in excitement. I'M IN ALASKA, I would've yelled it out but of course I didn't because I'm shy and instead preached it in my mind. I spot Magen near the exit and we give each other a grand hug and proceed to catch up on all the latest as we dance outside waiting for Kate to pick us up. We flew into Anchorage, which was only a three hour flight from Seattle, my layover. Kate lives in Palmer, a 45 minute drive away. During the drive we all talk feverishly. Its been three months since Squamish and there was so much to discuss. Kate talks about her life here in Alaska, and her latest adventures. I have to remind myself to wipe the drool off my chin as she describes the adventures her and her husband embark on.

Pick up jaw off ground, wipe drool from chin and repeat.

As we drive, I can't help but gawk at the local mountains as she names and describes each one out to us. Kate glows with happiness, her excitement over her home is contagious and I can't help but fell giddy to explore it with her and Magen these next few days. 

Our adventure begins with a local race Kate and her company put on every Thursday evening in September. We have been so lucky to arrive on the first Thursday of it to occur. It has a kids 1 mile race, 5 mile option as well as a double loop for a 10 mile option.  Starting the race my intention was to run the 10 mile route, however, my hunger got the best of me and Magen and I opted for the 5 miler instead in order to make in back in time for some fresh butternut squash soup before it disappeared.

We sat by a fire, beer in hand, soup in the other, overlooking the lake and the beautiful hues that engulfed our vision.

I sigh, this is the life. 

FRIDAY,  SEPTEMBER 8th

Eklutna Traverse

The next morning we wake to fresh brewed coffee, a heavenly scent. As we all pack our packs for the days adventure, Kate wins over my heart by making vegan pancakes. 

After packing for both worst and best scenarios, we shuffle in the car as Lance, Kate's incredible husband, drops us off at the Pioneer Ridge Austin Helmers Trail head. 

This trail begins with a 4 mile climb with over 1k ft gain per mile till we hit the ridge, and with heavy packs, we begin our crawl up. There aren't many people on the trail but whoever we did pump into during the day were friends of Kate. Despite it being a bit over 30 degrees out in the beginning of the morning, we begin to delayer as the climb begins to get tough. The sun was warm and our excitement for the days adventure was pouring out of our sweat glands. Mmmmhhh yummy.

I don't really know how to describe the moment. The moment we mustered our strength and climbed these ridge lines that made up our days quest. Deep breaths stung as the cold air hit my lungs yet I'm wildly invigorated by the freshness that surrounds me. I'm not in LA anymore and I couldn't be happier.

I trust my legs will walk properly around the technical terrain as my eyes shift all around me. These sights are incredible. I can't help but to stop and take photos; capture this moment I'd like to savor for forever. We continue along the ridgeline, over rock fields, down fields of grass and flowers toward another ridge to climb. Technical terrain to say the least as we all continue forward, smiles plastered on our face, eyes shimmering, hearts happy. We begin climbing another ridge that turned into a loose, rocky, razor blade thin "trail" to our next peak. I try to control my bodies will to shake, fear of the undeniably steep and slippery terrain that shot straight down on both sides. "Kate, what did you bring us on?" I whispered as I lead the group to the top, trying not to show how afraid I was and knowing the faster I climbed, the quicker I would be done. Magen, who lives in a place where there aren't any local mountains, climbed fearlessly. Conquering the mountain with each step and looked as though she's been climbing her entire life. These girls are something alright.  In Los Angeles I have a couple girls that I run with, but a majority of friends I've made in the mountains have been male. Because of RLAG, my strong women friends have doubled, nay tripled in just a matter of months. These girls breed mountain rockstars! As our climbs seemed endless, we approached the final climb of the day with tired legs and happy hearts. Each step up was made with intention as we knew our day was coming to a close. I ran ahead to snap a few photos as Kate and Magen mustered strength for the final push. What a view! Magens hands were on her quads as she pushes the finals steps to the peak. She stops. She looks around and lets out a deep scream that both Kate and I could feel deep in our heart and left me with goosebumps down my arms. We all conquered something within ourselves that day. And with tears falling from our faces we hug each other and take a look at what we accomplished. We, now, only have to run down. Magen bursting with happiness led the way down, in a direction that looked like we were heading right off the cliff. "Ay caramba," I say to myself as we descend. The cliffs edge was just a mirage and was really a technical scramble down to a quazi normal "trail" that lead us straight to the vast yellow and orange colored trees, endless blue berry bushes and finally a soft leveled trail. 

The entire day was filled with steep ridgelines, razor blade climbs, big horn sheep galore, terrible singing, endless pictures, sore bellys from laughing too much, and a little bit of running. We conquered fears, pushed our limits and came out stronger than we were a mere 10 hours and 18 miles before. 

Our day ended with Lance cooking us a feast as we sat around a big campfire surrounded by friends, drinking beer and liquor Kate brought back from Italy. Our bodies tired but our hearts were happy. 

Saturday September 9th

MATANUSKA GLACIER 

Glacier isn't normally part of my vocabulary. Living in Los Angeles my vocabulary revolves around heat so when Kate and Lance said we'd be going to a Glacier; I was trying to contain my immense excitement. This is definitely my version of Disneyland! 

The drive to Matanuska Glacier is about two hours from Palmer however time is irrelevant when you're completely engulfed in fall colored trees and endless views of of white carpeted mountain tops. Alaska, you are INCREDIBLE. The idea that I'm actually sitting in this car, at this very moment, viewing these sights was completely mind boggling. Mind. Blown.

We pass the Glacier entrance for a quick 1 mile hike that was basically straight up and back down. It was filled with roots, thick mud and rocks galore but once you reach the top, the entire glacier was in sight. The hike down was an adventure in itself, as Kate and Magen let me lead the way... I don't know why. Follow with precaution, folks. At one point I slipped and held onto two tree branches and was hanging- that's how steep it was. Shocked I didn't pull my arms out of the sockets, we all laughed it off, wishing one of us caught it on camera. 

Las tres amigas!

My dream come true! Blueberry and raseberry bushes EVERYWHERE

After our hike we met Lance for lunch and then headed straight for the Glacier. Words can not express how I felt when we arrived. I've never experienced such a sight so wonderful. We treked away from the crowds to fully appreciate the glacier, its beauty, the silence and all it's wonders. We ran, hiked, jumped, and took a plethora of photos. Lance had set everything up to ice climb and Magen was first to jump at the opportunity. Boy does it look scary, definitely pushing my comfort levels. I was silly to think I wouldn't ice climb as well. How many opportunities would I have to do this again, so I seized my opportunity, pushing my fears aside and was surprised at how liberating it was. Fear of heights aside, it was a magical experience. 

We played on the Glacier as long as we could before a storm rolled in and then headed back to town. As we drove home, we were hit with heavy rain for a few miles before the sky cleared up and a bright rainbow peaked through over the mountains. 

Sunday, September 10th

PORTER GLACIER

My quads burn, my body overheating as I try to keep my panting down. We are running, nay, sprinting up a very slippery trail. I look over to Kate and see her face is red from the intense climb mixed with freezing temperatures. Sweat is dripping off her fine blonde hair and we are intensely focused, you could almost hear the drip of her sweat escaping her face.  It was quite impressive how we managed to encourage each other the entire climb as we all were very short on breath. We were counting down the seconds, every moment mattered as we flew across the flat terrain and started the decent. We were moving fast, but not fast enough. I watched both Magen and Kate pick up their pace as the descent began steeper. This has been the fasted I've ran since spraining my ankle running down Upper Winter Creek a few months back. To say I was hesitant currently would be an understatement. Magen and Kate were in front of me as I overly focused on where my feet could possibly land. These girls are impressive, quite the strong duo and at that moment I forgot about babying my ankle and pushed harder to catch up. I could see my breath in front of me as I exhaled my exhaustion and inhaled the life around me. Grateful to be here. Grateful for these two girls. Grateful for this moment. But how did we get to this point? Were we being chased? Were we racing? The adventure in Alaska seemed to be endless, no doubt. 

Earlier that morning....

We were all quite tired, that was pretty evident. The last few days of adventuring were incredible but long and taxing. We woke with a hunger to continue exploring but were pretty indecisive on what that would entail. In Alaska, like Colorado I found, weather was always a factor. For me, living in Los Angeles I'd see that it was Sunny and 99.9% of the time it'll stay that way(for months). Where as in Colorado this last summer, the Sierra just a few weeks ago and currently in Alaska, it could possibly start of sunny and turn into a horrific lightning and rainstorm or vice versus in a matter of minutes and you don't truly know ow long they would last. Checking the weather forecast was merely a suggestion, mother nature always had a plan of her own.

Despite being tired, despite the omniscient cloudy sky outside, the three of us woke and dressed for a sunrise hike. With hopes the the sky will clear before the sunrise, we drove off, coffee in hand and eyes still filled with sleep. We parked at Hatcher Pass and the sky was gracing us with sweet, cold kisses. Maybe mother nature knew I hadn't showered since leaving LA and she was trying to give me a hint. I hear ya loud and clear. 

With freezing temps, very dark clouds hovering over us, and soft rain massaging our skin, we begin our hike up. Despite the temperature and early time, it was a gorgeous day. This last year of traveling more to the Pacific Northwest, I'm learning more that a gorgeous day doesn't necessarily have to mean a sunny day. Freezing temperatures, rain, snow, ice, really anything- its all perception. I don't think the morning could have possibly began any better. When we reached the top of the mountain, the rain turned to ice as we danced around and laughed till our face muscles and stomach hurt. After our boomerang trials, errors and successes, we made our way down a different trail. 

Uploaded by Sawna Guadarrama on 2017-10-30.

We stopped by a cute little coffee shop on the way back to Kates house that had the most incredible chocolate chip cookie! I almost didn't want to share it. We picked up groceries and Magen and I made us all a veggie stir fry to kick start the rest of our morning. We then packed our bags and headed out for Alyeska Resort to take a leisurely hike on the Winner Creek Trail. The drive was incredible. The dark clouds had cleared and replaced by fluffy white pillows in front of a cobalt blue sky. The water sparkled as a way to show off its beauty and vast energy. My face was glued to the window, not wanting to miss a thing. Hoping to spot a whale in the distance, I kept my eyes on the water but the mountains in the distance stole my attention. You could see spots of rain storms, sun rays bursting through marshmellow clouds as the water shimmered almost knowing how beautiful the moment was. I could jump up and give nature a high five for it's continuous jaw dropping scenery. In Alyeska we took a stroll on the Winner Creek Trail. It was nice to take a moment and just appreciate our surroundings. Although it's something we've been doing the entire trip, it a nice feeling to not feel stressed our overwhelmed by the city life and to really appreciate nature. The trail reminded me of ones I've ran in Portland or part of the Be Fearless Race in Squamish; Lush, soft, green and just overwhelmingly beautiful. We took our time here, savoring the moment, the beauty and each others company. 

We then headed to Whittier, Alaska. 

The clouds began to return, and it began to rain again as we arrived to the Anton Anderson Memorial Tunnel. This Tunnel is the longest (2.5 miles) highway tunnel in North America. It's a one-lane tunnel that must be shared by cars and trains in both direction and it's how you would get to Whittier if you're not traveling by boat. We toured the town, a town of population: 214. We waited for the rain to die down, the clouds to clear a bit in order to go on a hike. Destination, Porter Glacier. 

The hike is approximately two mile in length, one way (four miles roundtrip). The trail begins with 750 feet in elevation gain over fairly strenuous and rocky terrain and levels out at the top of the pass. From there the trail decends down past Divide Lake and ends at Portage Lake. Due to the rain early, the trail was completely muddy, slippery and hard to manage. Once we got over the pass, the sky finally opened up and gifted us with a pristine view of the glacier! HALLELUJAH! What a sight it was. We ran as fast as the muddy and slippery trail would allow and took a plethora of photos along the way and at the lake. It's incredible how accessible these glaciers are to the public! Years ago, this Portage was considered a roadside glacier, however it recedes an average of one foot a day and is now no longer visible from the road. IT's big blue icebergs are found along the lake and boy is it a sight! 

With the sun setting so late in the day, time seemed to escape us. Several photos later, we realized we would need to get back to the tunnel to make the next opening by 8:15, but we would have to sprint. Which brings me back to the my earlier story. Sprint our littler hearts out we did. We huffed, we puffed, we ran our way back up the pass and down to our car, as if chased, but despite our grand efforts- we didn't make it. We waited the next 45 minutes, basking in the glory of the days events. Driving home late was a chore, difficult with how tired and far we were. A mission I was so thankful Kate accomplished with ease. Arriving back at the house, we all tucked away silently, smiles on our faces, thankful hearts, tired bodies from the wonderful journey the day provided us. 

When you "just can't"... You color.

Monday, September 11th

The Departure

We packed our bags in silence, sad that our time in Alaska a ending. However, with 1pm flights- it wasn't over just yet. The adventure continues till the very last second. We drove to the Butte for a quick hike where the sun was shinning, the air so crisp you could almost taste Fall approaching. My taste buds danced with excitement, my eyes gawked at the colors, Fall is a wonderful season and the city of Palmer was engulfed in it already. 

After hiking the Butte we walked the bridge tat connected between the Knik River before heading back to the airport. 

I can't quite explain my feelings at the point in time. I was excited to go home and see Juniper but at the same time I am not looking forward to re entering summers heat, the traffic and the crowds. The more I venture out of the city, the less willing I am to return to the chaos, the traffic and the immense amount of people. 

We say our goodbyes and we try not to get too emotional. It's never goodbye but a see you later sort of thing. When I met both Kate and Magen, I knew instantly that these two girls would be in my life for a long time, it may not be on a daily basis but our adventures will only continue. 

Here I am, two chocolate bars deep, on my way back to Los Angeles. Magen, on another flight, will be meeting me in LAX and our adventure will continue in LA until she flies home later that week. 

As I sit at my kitchen table typing, almost two months after visiting Kate, it still doesn't seem real. The adventures, the nature, the bond we all shared during those days is something I can not truly explain but the memories, oh the memories, will always put a smile on my face. I'M SMILING RIGHT NOW. I could almost cry, it makes me so happy. It's moments like these that make everything okay. I may not like where I live, maybe I don't like my job in particular, but gosh darn it, it allows me the time and the money to make these memories. 

If you ask me, you should go! Go somewhere, experience a different place, their climate, their nature. Live more, hug harder, laugh louder, smile bigger, love longer- you've got to take advantage of today because we aren't guaranteed that tomorrow will always come.

Till next time. 

Fatdog 120: An extra long walk in the Park.

A vibrant green log sitting next to the river bank beckons me to come over, welcomes me to sit on it's ever so soft seat. I'm about 85 miles deep and still have a grueling 40 more miles to go and have spent the last 24 hours questioning my life decisions. Trying to hold back tears, I quickly inhale another gu energy gel without gagging. 

"This taste so good" I say out loud, trying to persuade my taste buds that this consistency I've been eating for 24 hours is actually what my body wanted. My two friends I've made during the race, Denis and Andrew, are already out of view now. I've fully excepted the idea that the rest of this quest may be ran alone. I start to cry; shoulders tense up, face goes into an awkward and seriously ugly expression but tears do not flow as they normally do. Acknowledging that I'm dehydrated I quickly snag a few more gulps of water and begin jogging again. "Don't be such a baby" I tell myself as shock waves ripple through my calves and crash into my quads, completely fighting my commands- nay my begging, to continue forward, but against the pain I persevere. Salt stained faced, dirt covered legs, oh so tired legs, I continue forward... one foot after another, one gel after another. 

Wednesday, August 9th. 

I hop onto a greyhound from Squamish back to Vancouver to meet up with Oliver and Molly, both whom will be racing this weekend. A ping of sadness flows through me as I spent the last week here with my fellow RLAG crew and making new friends while working their Adventure Retreat. Hailey, Eduardo and their fur kid Paxi opened there house and hearts to me and I will forever be grateful for their friendship. 

I wave goodbye to some fun filled memories as one adventure door closes and another opens to the unexpected. I look forward to the next bunch of adventurers, Oliver who is running the 120 miler and Molly her first 50 miler. Once together we talked, laughed and bantered as if old friends our entire lives, a bond merging by a shared passion for the trails.  With a pit stop at a grocery store (and liquor store- because in Canada you can't buy beer where you buy your groceries) we were off to Manning Park, where the reception scarce, the trails vast and the smokey air dense and slowly coating our lungs. 

FATDOG 120

The 120 mile event is considered one of the top 9 toughest ultras in the world by Outside Online. Difficult point to point trail race with elevation gain 28,453 feet (8672.7 metres) just less than Everest 29,029 ft.(8848 metres). You cross three stunning provincial parks and one recreational area in British Columbia, BC: Cathedral Provincial Park, Cascades recreational area, E.C. Manning Provincial Park and Skagit Valley Provincial Park. Scenic, technical and non-technical trails, one river crossing, and sumptuous aid stations. Well rewarded for climbs with top of the ridge vistas and a very demanding final leg to finish. Starts near Keremeos and finishes at beautiful Lightning Lake. Racers of all distances are required to carry several items with them at all times in case of emergencies and/or weather changes.  Unlike most 100 mile races, this particular one begins on Friday morning at 10am. 

Thursday, August 10th

I woke in a pool of sweat. I look around and can't quite place where I am. As the room begins to come back into focus, remembering how just the day before we all jumped on our beds like young kids at summer camp (4 beds in the room) checking which were the softest before claiming our own- I suddenly begin piecing together my dream. There is nothing quite like dreaming of running a 100 miles without shoes on while searching for your hydration pack with zero assistance from the volunteers. It was a silly dream that I obviously knew will not come to fruition.

After packing the last of my drop bags we were off to Manning Park where check in would be held and a few miles on course to be ran.

MANNING PARK: 

E.C. Manning Provincial Park is a provincial park in British Columbia, Canada. It is usually referred to as Manning Park, although that nomenclature is also used to refer to the resort and ski area at the park's core. The park is 70,844 hectares (273.53 square miles). The terrain in the park, which includes most of the Hozameen Range sub-range of the Canadian Cascades, varies from wet coastal rain forests, to jagged snow-capped peaks, alpine meadows filled with wildflowers, to a chain of small lakes, and broad river beds along the valley floors. A network of trails crosses the park, some of them following routes used by the fur trade and native hunters and traders. The park is best known for its midsummer displays of subalpine flowers, but there are other flora such as at Rhododendron Flats(If you run Fatdog, you'll get a constant eyefull of the most beautiful flowers that even having a rough day can't make you not enjoy), near the park's western entrance, which has a substantial colony of pinkish-red rhododendrons, a protected indigenous species that blooms in early- to mid-June. Some of the less common species the park aims to protect are the mountain beaver and the wolverine.<-- So cool

To say I was nervous would be an understatement. The entire day my stomach was churning. I felt like I didn't belong in such a race. I couldn't hold any food down, the toilet and I became dearest friends and I was just filled with butterflies. During the race briefing in Princeton my stomach screamed. Searching the room I couldn't help but feel intimidated by my peers. I couldn't help but to continue asking myself WHAT AM I DOING HERE? With Javelina Jundred being the only other hundred mile distance I've completed I couldn't help but let my insecurities get the best of me. Ay caramba, what have I gotten myself into? 

Friday, August 11th

I had my race kit ready and even slept in my American Flag BoaUSA shorts. Brad and his wonderful wife Johanna (she made all the vegan pumpkin pies for Hardrock, among other yummy goodness) led the way in their car as Oliver, Molly and I followed in ours. The night before we spent around the dinner table laughing at Brads jokes and just enjoying each others company before the big dance as I inhaled my dinner and most of Mollys. 

We parked alongside the dirt road and instantly I had to go find a bush to pee in. The 2 hour drive deeper into the smoke haze was spent with decent cell service and I was able to talk to my coach Chris Vargo, my parents and some friends before heading back into the back country for the next few days. Shockingly enough my nerves had disappeared. With so many friendly faces around, I didn't feel so intimidated. A group of coyotes were out here running as well; Vishal the 120, Anna the 50 and Gwendolyn the 40 miler and of course a few of my favorite PNW friends were running as well; Colton and Lisa Large. I tried to take photos with as many people as I could! I mean that's what I'm here for, right? To socialize!

Well, I did sign up for this right? After a final gear check we were sent off! We ran up the dirt road and looped back down to disperse a bit before the inevitable konga line that will form. I began hiking after fellow Territory Run CO Wilder runner Jennifer Love and her runner Larry who she was pacing and basically ran with them for a bit. 

How I feel...

My mind began to wonder. Extra effort given to push through the dense air, my lungs not agreeing with the quality of air mixed with 90 degree temps I was forcing into them. The climb seemed never ending, was it a mistake to not have hiking pole? Probably. My breathing short and shallow, unable to fully gasp in a complete breath I continue in a forward motion, climbing upward. In the dark haze of the distance I can make out the mountains, it may not be picturesque but still oh so beautiful. I stop to take it all in. Despite the idea of running this kind of distance, I promised myself I'd enjoy the views- no matter how terrible I felt. Using the moment I attempted to catch my breath, still unable to breath to my full capacity- I continue. This was only the beginning, I had no idea the magnitude of suffering I'd endure within the next several hours. We have only reached 10 miles of the race and I couldn't breath properly.

I begin running the decent, remembering some advice Nick Coury gave me during Hardrock and I immediately slowed down. People passed me, sure, that was inevitable, but my thought was to save my quads. We were descending into the next aidstation and I was ok with taking my time. The girl with the red shorts passes me and we begin talking. I'm in no place to be competitive but we chat about the race- her third time running it and other races we've both ran. Despite the inability to breath properly, it was nice to have a friendly conversation. Almost a constant during the beginning of this race!

Running into Ashnola I was completely out of water. I instantly spot Randy Duncan and am overwhelmed with happiness! So thankful for the incredible volunteers! I am full of smiles, quickly forgetting how I had been feeling the last few miles- lets be honest, since mile ONE.

All photos above by the talented and amazing Jeff Fisher! 

I leave the aid station fully stocked and begin running the fire road to the next climb. I run into Nik, originally from Russia but is living in Issaquah. I lose any concept of time at this point. We had spent a few miles talking and that slowly just faded. I stopped to pee and Nik continued on, I knew I wouldn't catch up to him, my spirits began to spiral down. I continued forward and slowly but surely my stomach began to turn, next was cramping of all different locations, and my energy level began to plummet. I took electrolytes and began drinking even more water, worried that my body was starting to shut down. At this time the terrain was a bit more manageable, rolling hills along a meadow filled with an abundance of wild flowers of all colors. I find myself stuck in a mix of emotions, fighting my body's lack of strength and my minds will to shout in immense happiness over these beautiful colors. THESE ARE AMAZING! I wanted to instantly take photos of all these glorious colors and send them immediately to Rhea, my wild flower trail runner best friend back in Los Angeles- yet the will and energy to do so was too much to bear. The ripple effect of these cramps, up my calf and quad reminded me to stay focused. I verbally apologized, and mentally snapped a photo of the moment in time- the sun castings it's rays oh so delicately upon the pedals as they sparkles there well wishes and happiness to me. I drank it all in but still with the aftertaste of regret. I continued forward, ever so slowly. 

Breath, Sawna, breath.

I force myself to stop running, forbidding my legs to continue if I am unable to breath fully.  If I have to hike- so be it. I spend the next mile, although on a flat trail, just walking. taking in Deep breaths, forcing more electrolytes down to possibly stop the cramping along with more water- stomach disagreeing with every action. 

I continue on, my motivation was to catch up to Nik, to have someone to chat with. My body, although still moving well, didn't feel right. I could see him running in the far distance and I knew I wouldn't catch him. Attempting to run along the mountain meadow, the view was breathtaking, quite literally and figuratively. A guy passes me and is extremely chipper, points out the incredible smoke cloud behind us of a fire that just began. Yeah that's interesting but my real question is how are you so happy? Instantly I knew I had to stick around this guy: Denis from Seattle I quickly learned. I ran close by him and another runner during the Flattop Descent. It was nice to have some people to run with but my mind was focused on how badly I had to pee but with nothing coming out. I continued to drink more, took an electrolyte tablet and continued forward listening to the two runners talk. I was worried. The drops of pee that were coming out were dark dark brown and I couldn't tell if it was brown or red. It felt as though I had a bladder infection, not a fun feeling and one I wanted to resolve quickly. As we run down Denis starts conversation with me and I quickly begin talking about my issue. I need advice. More electrolytes and more food. I take two more electrolyte tablets. I was thankful to have the gu roctane drink pretty handy, the fruit punch one that I could easily sip on! (The Summit Tea one, the only thing I could describe as the closet thing to human flavored throw up, not a flavor id be sipping on anytime soon). Slowly my stomach began to settle and we both celebrated an hour or two later when I was able to pee more than a few drops. Phew- a sigh of relief. 

I may be able to pee but the leg cramps and low spirits continued. There's a very sad Sawna running through the mountains right now and although I was acknowledging the feeling, I couldn't mend how broken I felt. I craved a familiar face, a family member, a friend, a loved one... I craved a hug. A warm embrace, a shaken too- saying "Sawna you can do this". Every molecule in my body was telling me otherwise, telling me my body wasn't ready nor happy about the toll I was putting it trough. I hoped that I'd be surprised at an aid station and looked forward to each one to come... thinking maybe. Yet when I arrived, my mind wondered, there were so many loving faces, although strangers, each embraced me with warmth and kindness and any other expectation flooded my mind. 

Crossing the Pasayten River around 8pm my spirits were at an all time low. Although I had only ran a mere 39 miles, my quads felt as though I had already ran 100. They were beat up and I was ready to sit down and not get back up. I was still running with Denis, who provided great company and conversation but I was done, physically and mentally with this course. I didn't want to go any further. I held onto the rope as my legs emerged into the water, trying not to let the force push me aside I hold back tears. Reminding myself that this is something I wanted to do, something I paid to do. I go to sit down and realize Denis is putting the reflector jacket on and I don't even stop. I knew if I wanted to drop I couldn't do it at a minor aid station and may as well continue forward than prolong the inevitable.

I just want to get this over with.

It's only two miles at Bonnevier where I can drop. One foot in front of the other I follow alongside of Denis as we continue running along the road toward Bonnevier. 

What an aid station! We got there and it was full of crew, pacers, and volunteers. I am instantly greeted by Jeff Fischer, fellow Territory Run CO Wilder runner and I hold back the tears that want to flow out. "Don't be a baby Sawna, MAN UP" I tell myeslf. My body cramping up like crazy I express how terrible I feel and without a word he is helping. "I cant drop now" I tell myself. This is so embarassing!  I make my best effort to smile and try to portray that I don't feel like shit. "I can't drop" I repeat. I try to put fresh socks and shoes on and my leg goes in a full cramp. Jeff the angel that he is, remedies it. Gives me a banana (none of the aidstations carried bananas) out of his car, some electrolyte tablets and forces me to eat. Just having a friend around my spirits begin to rise.

Dang it, am I really going to continue? All sorts of cuss words flow through my mind. 

I search for Denis and he's waiting for me. 

More cuss words flow through my mind.... HERE GOES NOTHING.

Dang it, Sawna.

I grab my 1,000 pound pack which barely has room for water due to the long list of required gear and profusely thank Jeff for his help. As we exit a volunteer asks to check our required gear and I simply asked her to look at how bulging my pack was and ensure her that I have EVERYTHING. It was heavy. The next section is 11 miles of climbing toward Heather aid station and it was already dark. We began to climb and think it's not too late to turn around but quickly notice a pep in my step. Whoa, the cramping has completely disappeared and I instantly feel like chatty Cathy. Denis and I chat the entire climb, talking about his wife and baby, my fur baby... really just anything and it seemed as though time flew by. With only 129 pee breaks and 1,452 farts we arrived at Heather and were able to restock on food, water and some laughs with volunteers. All the chairs were filled with runners looking a bit disheveled and I was amazed at how well I felt. My body didn't feel so good, but my spirits were high. 

We thanked the incredible aidstation volunteers for being there and were off on the next section. It was a runnable section toward Nicomen Lake. 10 miles it said, it felt more like 16. We ran for what seemed like hours upon hours and only passing one or two runners. This is where we ran into Vishal sitting on the side of the trail, not feeling so well. After offering help we continued on and met up with Andrew a fellow runner who just like us, didn't have any pacers. We continue onward together as a group for what seemed like another hour. 

Arriving at Nicomen we were shocked to see that they barely had any water left and only a batch of saltine crackers. Maybe that's only what I saw but I was relieved to just be there. We only stayed a minute or two before we continued on. It was a long trek toward Cayuse Flats. It was late and we were all tired and overwhelmed by the miles that we have ran already. My eyes were getting heavy, my feet were clumsy and before I knew it I was on the ground- not remember the last few seconds. Had I fallen asleep? Who knows. 

Denis, Andrew and I continue forward at our best attempt to run. Eager for the next aid station We try to calculate how much more time we had. I had already ran out of food and was quickly draining my water yet was still peeing every ten minutes. I had started with two flasks and a bladder and somehow my bladder was already out- not realizing the there was a tear in the spout and had been leaking water this entire time. Great. I've had this pack for not even a month and a half and its ripped during the most important race. 

We continued forward, our hopes high that we were getting close to the aid but the trail continued onward and so did we, in silence. My mouth dry, pack light from lack of water and nutrition, I dig for anything of substance and find a packet of Nutzo butter and I was elated. FOOOOOOOOD. 

After much walking the last mile and a few whimpering on my part we arrived at Cayuse Flats. I was happy to be there! They had breakfast burritos and bacon cooking and my mouth was salivating. As I eat some watermelon and wash it down with another Gu... If there was a time I didn't choose to be vegan, this would be it. I ate watermelon, avocado and some blueberries but I felt as though I couldn't catch up to how depleted my body felt from running out of food. The next aid, Cascade was only five miles away of steep climbs and descents, yet my eyes could not stay open. Fatigued, tired, overwhelmed, I don't know what it was but I was struggling to keep up with the guys. They wouldn't have any of it! I looked at each log, each patch of leaves as an opportunity for sleep but if they kept going, as did I. I wasn't going to loose these guys now. At this point I was getting really irritated about my peeing situation. It continued every 10 minutes or so. A problem I wished to have at mile 25 now seems like such a chore. I need more food. Cascade aid came up quickly and I was able to devour some pickles, more avocado and chips. I ran into Nick Knipe, fellow Coyote runner and pacer to Vishal and explained to him how poorly Vishal felt and how worried we were for him. 

2 miles from Cascade was Sumallo aid. It definitely wasn't two miles but at this point nothing matters. Vishal comes sprinting in with Nick and I'm floored by how amazing he looks. What the holy Crackers. WHAT drugs is he on and how do I get some... is my thought as I pick my jaw off the ground, unable to wrap my mind around how he's actually here. 

We depart the aid as a group. How am I still here? My eyes won't stay open and I'm struggling to keep up with the guys. 13 miles until the next aidstation seems unbearable. I've eaten 4 gu's in the last 20 minutes. Why you ask? Well, I eat a gu and instantly feel better for a minute or two and then crash hard, then repeat. The trail is rolling and manageable, a runners heaven if, maybe,  we haven't ran over 80 miles already.

A vibrant green log sitting next to the river bank beckons me to come over, welcomes me to sit on it's ever so soft seat. I'm about 85 miles deep and still have a grueling 40 more miles to go and have spent the last 24 hours questioning my life decisions. Trying to hold back tears, I quickly inhale yet another gu energy gel without gagging. 

"This taste so good" I say out loud, trying to persuade my taste buds that this consistency we've been eating for 24 hours is actually what my body wanted. My two friends I've made during the race, Denis and Andrew, are already out of view now. I've fully excepted the idea that the rest of this quest may be ran alone. I start to cry; shoulders tense up, face goes into an awkward and seriously ugly expression but tears do not flow as they normally do. Acknowledging that I'm dehydrated I quickly snag a few more gulps of water and begin jogging again. "Don't be such a baby" I tell myself as shock waves ripple through my calves and crash into my quads, completely fighting my commands- nay my begging, to continue forward, but against the pain I persevere. A flashback of last months Hardrock 100 flies through my memory. "You have no right to complain, Sawna" I scolled myself. This shit is easy compare to what Katie went through. I remember how her knee locked up just before Chapman yet, despite the elevation, the pain, and the time already on feet- she pushed through. I remind myself that I have no reason to complain, do I want to run Hardrock 100 one day? Hell fu**in YES, so I wipe these invisible tears, suck it up, and cancel the current pitty party I was throwing myself. But boy do I like to throw a good party! Salt stained faced, dirt covered legs, oh so tired legs, I continue forward... one foot after another, one gel after another. 

A few runners passed me as I plastered a smile on my face and greeted them with enthusiasm. Maybe if I pretend to feel good, I'll trick my body. I begin whimpering as I jog ever so slowly as I repeat to myself "it could be worse, I could feel worse!". I hear talking and fast feet approaching as I'm shuffling along and see its Gwendolyn, another coyote flying by. Note to self: sign up for shorter races. She's running the 40 miler and I couldn't help but feel jealous. I feel the ugly face crying approaching and I pushed it aside. STOP IT SAWNA, MAN the F- Up! I could feel my brother by my side, cheering me on- he was always the one to say if your dreams didn't scare you... they're not big enough. Always pushing me off the skate board ramp or toward the next black diamond with my kid snowboard strapped to me feet, or toward the next big wave. Well, Tono I'm pretty sure this is as stupid as it gets. I snap back to reality, hopeful, I think the aid station is soon, I could feel it. 

Saturday, July 29th...

I woke up to car lights. Parked at the Red Box ranger station in the San Gabriel mountains, I can count on one hand how many times I've slept in a bed since I left for Colorado in June. After being in Colorado for a month training, pacing for Hardrock and drinking tons of beer, I came home and continued to Airbnb my apartment- hoping to make some extra money before leaving again for almost two weeks in Canada. I assured myself that it aided in my trail running. Instead of sleeping in my apartment all the way in Hollywood- I'd sleep at trail heads in my car and wake up right where I'd want to run. A few times I'd sleep at my parents but the majority of the time I tried to live out of my car, shower at the climbing gym or lets be honest- not shower at all. It was an adventure! I can honestly say my vegan dirt bag dishes I put together were ON POINT. Everything I'd ever need is in my car, an ice chest, cooking supplies, change of clothing, my computer, books, my journal, and of course my fur baby. At times I found myself questioning why I pay so much to live in an apartment when I seem so much happier being mobile.

Juniper and I set out to run Strawberry peak and perhaps a bit more. My coach, Chris Vargo, put together a great training plan for me and this was the last week of training before the big dance, Fatdog120. Today I was tired, but was set out to snag back my CR for the climb that was stolen sometime this month by Rhea (get it gurrrrl). At the peak, tired and already sweating at 6:30 am my semi long run turned into only a summit. I was ready to go home. Yes, my car is great but I could use a real bed for a good nights rest and tonight I'll make that happen at my parentals house. I have one last hard run tomorrow and three days to deep clean my apartment for the next visitors as I attempt to pack for two weeks in Canada. I'm excited but mostly overwhelmed. I could use a nap- but I'll settle for pancakes at Cafe Gratitude. Taper mode is fast approaching, nerves starting to kick in. 

This is really happening...

Saturday, August 12th

This is really happening...

I'm not going to continue writing about how terrible the race was, how terrible I felt, how much I cried, or how much I wanted a hug... wah wah wah wah wah. That's what you have been reading and I apologize for that but I'm trying to describe exactly what was going through my mind and how I truly felt. At times throughout the day I'd force myself to smile, wow I felt so stupid, but honestly it helped, I forced a smile and eventually it came naturally. This race has been on my bucket list since my first year running Rainshadow Running Gorge Waterfalls 100k back in 2014 where I met Dave and a few beers and Project Talaria videos later he described how incredible this particular race was, it's trails and how it needs to be on my bucket list. Three and a half years later here I am. 

I'm running into Shawatum aidstation, thankful those 13 grueling miles are over. My pack gets refilled as I ask for a banana. The aid station has none. Shocking. I then start asking the spectators and others cew if anyone has a banana and a girl runs over with one. THANK YOU again! (Literally walked around yelling if ANYONE HAD A BANANA- I've gone looney) I spot Andrew and wave as I down another half of avocado and wait for some veggie broth to be poured. My mouth is salivating for calories other than gu. Don't get me wrong- gu has been working. But honey, it's been 93 miles, I want a pizza or like a good brown rice veggie bowl. My pack gets filled and the water automatically starts spraying from the nosel. It's completely torn, and I don't think I bite that hard on a pack I've only had for one month and two weeks... just saying. Knowing I have only 6 flatish miles till Skyline I opt out of filling up both my flasks. One flasks has water flavored throw up and the other still has the rest of the actually good tasting roctane in it. I finish my banana and jug the veggie broth and Andrew and I jog out. My legs are tense but my spirits high. The peeing every 10 minutes continue but my heavy eyelids begin to lighten and I become energized- finally. Andrew and I slowly make our way to the next aid as we talk about life, adventures and our homes. After awhile Anna, another Coyote who's running the 50 miler, passes us. It was so nice to see a familiar face! I was elated that she looked so happy and so strong, this girl is a beast and shes running fast! Dreaming that I could be running her speed I pick up my step, and ask Andrew if I could lead the way for a bit. 

A this point the sun decided to pay us a visit. It's rays shining through the trees and kissing my skin with its warmth. I accept it's offer of warmth, embracing it's instant energy and positive charge. Everything around me seemed to perk up, the trees sang against the light breeze, the leaves greener, the ground softer. I begin to sweat heavily, but it felt more like a detoxification, my body riding of all the crap I've been eating. Weirdly enough my speed began to pick up. One step in front of the other, faster, and faster.

What is this feeling?

My legs! I don't feel them, or should say I don't feel the lactic acid build up. I'm running and running a good pace. I've somehow lost Andrew and continue forward joyous on how my body was feeling. 

I FEEL GREAT

I don't know what the cause of rejuvenation is but I gladly accept it- I felt better running at mile 95 than I did at mile 1. I caught up to some of the 40 milers running and ran with them straight to Skyline aid where I was greeted again by Randy Duncan, Lori and so many runners. It's a party! I have my hydration pack refilled again, letting them know not to drop the spout or all the water will spray out as I downed a blueberry smoothies a volunteer made me. For once during the race my face hurt- from smiling so much. I spot Denis sitting in a chair and he tells me I've passed a female runner and am now second female and I couldn't care less. I was high on life and I couldn't wait to continue running. I grabbed a gu, and filled a flask with veggie broth and at 2:20pm was back on the trail. 

I recite a mantra that I have used since my first year at Javelina Jundred (Thanks Mike)

I am cool.
I am calm. 
I am powerful. 
I am a machine.
I'M A MOTHER FU**ING MACHINEEEE

I start singing "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen as I continued running up the trail. 

My legs, my body, my spirits all feeling great! I didn't want to stop, knowing I had ONLY 20 miles to go! The thought of finishing was now a sure think, never seemed like a reality most of the race. I told myself "this is just like any other run, pretend Vince is in front of you and you're just trying to catch up" a constant occurrence in all of our runs together. So I continued running, singing to myself, passing other runners, completely alive, as alive as the water draining currently from my hydration spout. 

I continue, feeling strong, up the mountain. At this point I stopped looking at the distance on my watch because it seemed as though every aid was off. My pack had already been drained of water and I only had the veggie broth left. I began to hike, hoping that thirst will not become an issue before the next aid station in god knows how long. I didn't mind, yes I feel great and could keep running but the views were incredible! Why not enjoy the moment!?!

Arriving at Camp Mowich I explain my water leakage and request only partial refill and just relied on both my flasks. My spout continues to spray and I give up, I leave it leaking as I talk to Vishal who sitting at the aid station trying to fix his stomach pains and then I continued on. 

Did I mention how great I felt? Because I still didn't believe it!

Is someone playing a trick on me? How is it that I feel this good now? Was it worth suffering for 95 miles for a glorious 25 miles? Maybe not, well obviously yes... I'd do it again. I stopped to snap a few photos of the snow capped mountains in the distance. I realize I hadn't taken any photos since around mile 10 yet held onto my phone the entire time. The views, although still hazy, were breath taking... in a good way. I continued running along the ridge line toward sky junction. 

I was flying!

Once I was at the aidstation I grabbed a mini cliff bar and immediately left- the finish line was at my finger tips and I was only 8 miles away. 

8 miles. 

That's it. 

Since Skyline I had only eaten my gu gel and the flask of water down veggie broth and my body wasn't hungry. Now this is Sawna, the mountain runner I know! Don't ask me who that whining baby was before- I don't know that girl. 

I grunt as I am forced to hike up a climb, why did I think it was all down hill from the last aid station. There has been several mini climbs along the way and on this one I hear "Oh hey Sawna"  I've caught up to Gwendolyn. Whoa. I ask her opinion on how many miles we had left- and continued forward. Thinking these mini roller coaster climbs will inevitably end and we'll have a sweet steep descent to the finish. 

Finally hitting the descent after Skyline Ridge. Photo by: Brian McCurdy

 ̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶l̶.̶
̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶m̶.̶
̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶p̶o̶w̶e̶r̶f̶u̶l̶.̶
̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶a̶c̶h̶i̶n̶e̶.̶
I'M A MOTHER FU**ING MACHINEEEE
I'M A MOTHER FU**ING MACHINEEEE

I repeat to myself as I begin running the descent toward the finish line as the last 33 hours events flash through my mind. Two days ago I was on the same trail thinking how would I feel at this exact moment and I would've never guessed. Not for a million bucks. I knew exactly where I was. 

Two miles left from this tree branch...

1.5 miles left from this junction... 

One mile left from the bridge... 

As I run along the river toward the bridge, the Finish Line is just across the water. As much as I wanted to cry this entire race, I was almost emotionless. I couldn't put into words how I managed to get to this point... how did I do that? I feel as though I was asleep for half of the race, not quite remembering certain sections or how time flew by. 

And just like that I ran underneath the Mountain Madness arch with the sun still out and I was done- 2nd Female finisher and 14th overall in 33 hours 30 min. Something I wished for the entire race yet was a bit sad that it was over. Yes, there was cheering from spectators but the finish line was anticlimactic. With no pacers, crew or friends it seemed like any normal day in the park. Not that I expect a party at the finish line but it just wasn't what I expected. I quickly spotted a familiar face, Oliver, and all those feelings disappeared. His genuine happiness and enthusiasm for life is contagious and I was so happy to see him, although that meant he dropped. 

What can I say? I crossed the finish line at 7:30 pm with the wind in my hair and sun on my face. The last section took me exactly 5 hours and 10 minutes, being the fastest section of the race for me. How? Don't ask me! My body hated me for most of the race and then finally agreed with what I was actually doing. I scarfed down a veggie burger and a few water bottles while chatting with Oliver before showering and returning to the finish line to wait for Molly. I grabbed a chair, and used one of the emergency blankets from my pack that I carried for two days and watched the others run in. It was around 11pm Molly, pony tail flying in the wind, smile on her face, sprinted toward the finish line and completed her first 50 mile run! I was elated for her! 

The next day was a blur. My body felt great except my right big toe tingled, almost in a ticklish/painful way. Molly and I went back to Manning Park for the awards and we were able to see several familiar faces! We also both received free entries for next year. Is this something I'd like to relive? During the race I would've cussed a ton and said you're crazy if you think I'd run this race again- but considering the race if over and I have time to reflect, I definitely would. I don't think I gave it my best effort- if anything it was just about surviving. I have a lot to learn about the 100+ mile distance, nutrition and knowing more about my body. Good thing I have time to think about it. Still bitter about not getting into AC100 for the 3rd year, but I hear Cascade Crest is lovely(when it's not stormy or smokey). ha!

If my race was a movie, this would be the soundtrack:

GEAR LIST:

Inov8 Trailroc 285. (Best damn shoe I've ever ran in and it's not because I was on their #getagrip challenge this summer, but I have had ZERO feet issues since wearing them and my feet, and myself, are uber thankful!)

Boa USA American Flag Shorts

1. California Socks 2. Territory Run Co Getaway Sock

Territory Run Co Singlet

Inov8 L/S half zip up (My favorite L/S but I never used it- it was way too hot and stayed around my waist to collect the water spraying from my pack- it was lovely)

Nathan VaporHowe 12L Vest (Super awesome vest minus the whole spout tear and completely leaking of water when, you know, I'm running 120 milers- note to self... carry another bladder in drop bags- still love the pack!)

Goodr Sunglasses

Territory Run Co Gorge Hat  

TONS OF Bandanas- RunLikeAGirl, Inov8, TerritoryRunCo, I had tons of snot rockets and used them to dip in the streams and clean my face with. Necessity.

MANDATORY GEAR LIST THAT ALL RUNNERS MUST CARRY:

• 2L of water minimum

• Pants/tights

• Tape seamed rain jacket

• Long sleeve

• 2 forms of light (headlamp and hand torch)

• batteries

• Personal cup

• Warm Hat/Gloves

• Whistle

• TWO Survival Blankets

Which made my pack extra heavy!

Would I run this race again? Yes!

Would I recommend this race to others? Yes!

Alright folks, this is my best account of what went down for the pre, post and during Fatdog120 event. I hope you enjoyed it!

Till next time,

Peace, love and happiness. 

Adventures in the Sierras

My first experience in the Sierras was the day after Broken Arrow as we parked at the Onion Valley campgrounds to hike up Kearsarge Pass. Broken Arrow had been difficult in itself, due to spraining my ankle a few days prior. The hike up Kearsarge Pass, although beautiful, was intensely painful as I cried silently to myself with each step forward.

Since then, I've been determined to return, mind you healthy and able to run these magnificent trails. And I have! Mind you, with Juniper it is difficult to go far but I've definitely gotten a taste of the mountains. Merely a taste- but I was thirsty. 

After returning from a few weeks in Colorado (blog post in process) I have been itching for another mountainous adventure, preferably closer than a 14 hour drive. 

Originally I had planned to camp at Horseshoe meadow over the weekend because I had Saturday off but due to longer work hours and just life- I was unable to go. Le sigh. 

I received my schedule that Sunday for the next week and realized I had two days off in a row, a rarity in the service industry. My mind started racing with possible plans. I figured a good Sierras trip would be in order and possibly my first California 14er of Mt Langley. I was checking feverishly for extra permits for Mt Whitney on Thursday, figuring a good nights rest the day before would be wise. However, any movement on the site for that day was scarce. 

On Tuesday two permits popped up for the following day, Wednesday, and I immediately reserved them. I then proceeded to call and have them saved in the overnight lock box. I instantly called Vince, best friend and mountain runner extraordinaire and asked if he was down for an adventure. 

The answer is always, YES!

All we had to do is get there safely. However, when we both get off work past 11pm- it's questionable. 

We arrived at the Sierras Interagency Visitor Center at 3am- after three hours of driving, windows down, coffee, singing loudly to Queen and a good few slaps to the face. We then continued onward to camp at Alabama Hills and finally able to sleep around 4am. We both woke up at 5:30 during the sunrise, bats flying overhead, and eventually rose at 6:30 with much anticipation for the day to come. 

MT WHITNEY

At an elevation of 14,501 ft, Mt Whitney is the tallest mountain in California, 11th tallest in United States, and the tallest peak in the Lower 48. Mt Whitney trail is pretty do-able for Southern Californians considering it's only a few hour drive to get to the trail head and has a well maintained trail that leads you straight up the mountain.

Because it is the most frequently climbed mountain peak in the Sierra Nevada, a permit system is in place to minimize impact of backpackers as well as day hikers in the backcountry. Everyone, backpackers and day hikers are required to obtain a permit. The shortest and most popular trail to the peak is a 10.7(17.1 km) trail from Whitney Portal. If climber during the summer to early October you don't normally need any technical climbing equipment but it is necessary in late spring/early summer.

“Keep close to Nature’s heart... and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.”

— John Muir

Vince and I began our adventure at 8 am as we jogged away from Whitney portal, grin exposed from cheek to cheek unable to hide our excitement. Within a mile we crossed a flowing creek without a hesitation we both ran through it- a pattern that will quickly form in today's quest.

We joked, we laughed, we gagged at everyone's poop bags we ran by, we took photos and, yes, there was a bit of huffing and puffing running up the trail, but once that started we simply hiked. Today was to be fun. Vince, having Tushars 100k a mere three days from this adventure couldn't risk pushing to hard and I simply was enjoying my best friends company out in some of the most beautiful scenery. 

“Fun is enjoyable because you don’t have to worry about results. You can strive for triumph, or you can putter around, tinker, and explore, without worrying about efficiency or outcomes”

Both of us having never been on this trail were shocked at how well maintained and pretty straightforward it was. Yes, there were two snow crossings, but as long as you don't try to dance across- you were fine. For how difficult one strives to get a permit for this trail, to experience this beauty, we were both shocked at how much trash was left purposely on the side of the trail! COME ON GUYS! 

Crossing the snow on the top right. Although there was a clear path to cross, some hikers turned around due to how dangerous it seemed with the sound of water underneath. 

We continued across the 1,329 water crossings and then up the 99 switchbacks to the Trail Crest pass and continued to run along the ridge, laughing and enjoying the smooth ride with the best view.

The last half mile is a rocky, technical climb, straight to the peak where we enjoyed the 360 view along with the other 30 people around us. It wasn't even noon yet and we had reached the summit, shocked at how quickly time flew by and how happy we felt!

The air was crisp yet warm. The clouds looked as though they were marshmellows- soft to the touch and oh so sweet.

We savored the moment, sitting on a rock as I stuffed my face with half my SUPER BURRITO from Trader Joe's. My taste buds exploding with happiness. My stomach- happy at first, not very please during the run down. Instantly feeling nauseous, I slowed my pace until I had to stop to.... burrrrrp. 

Burped I did! I few times, hoping it wasn't going to lead to anything more severe I began running again. Instantly feeling better. We chatted with some girls hiking up, watched a nice fatty marmot try to get our attention and off we were. Down the switchbacks. 

Down the switchbacks. 

Down the switchbacks. 

Still... down the switchbacks. 

The never ending switchbacks.

And when you thought it was almost over...

It kept going. 

Both Vince and I were silent, hoping the end was near as we continued begrudgingly running forward. Finally, what seemed like forever, we were off the switchbacks and on, still technical and wet, but pretty straightforward. The time flew by and before we knew it we were back at the trail head. 

As we basked in how incredibly fun our day we hung around collecting ourselves before possibly eating. At the Portal market we ran into some guys we saw on trail and ended up sitting with them for lunch. They had just finished hiking the JMT and coincidentally two of them live within a mile from me... small world! It felt as though time had stopped. Here we were a group of strangers, wide grins chatting as if old friends. Sharing what we have in common- the love of fresh air, the trails and just these beautiful mountains and all that they offer. 

We parted ways and Vince and I were off to horseshoe meadow after a quick(not so quick) pit stop into town to find some kind of "fresh" food. 

Once camp was set up, (I was definitely very excited to not be sleeping in my car for once) we began making dinner- or should I say I began making dinner. 

Dirtbag dinner special: Spaghetti with the only fresh veggies we could find topped with pasta sauce, tahini, nutritional yeast and of course avocado!

If you want to start off somewhere (and on the cheap) go HERE.

We both fell asleep by 8 that night. Vince slept till 8am and I'd like to say it's because of the symphony of spaghetti farts that eased him to sleep, you're welcome. #fartbombs

MT LANGLEY

For people looking to explore the highest elevations available in the contiguous United States, Mt Langley offers a good introduction to thin air at 14,026ft without requiring any technical mountaineering skills. With it being 500 ft shorter than it's neighbor Mt Whitney, Langley's summit provides expansive views, solitude and a deep feeling of accomplishment. Langley is the 9th tallest peak in California and is considered one of the easier 14ers to climb.

“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized are beginning to find out going to the mountains is going home; that wilderness is a necessity...”

— John MF Muir

The sun's warmth on my face gently bekoned me awake to enjoy the nights end and the new days beginning. Sleep still hoovering I rise and sit outside- enjoying the silence and beauty of my surroundings. As other campers are already packed and heading off to the trail, I begin making coffee as I write in my journal, waiting for sleepy Vince to wake up.

Today's adventure is to run up Mt Langley. Since my first taste of the Sierras, more specifically Cottonwood lakes, I've had a thirst to run both Mt Whitney and Mt Langley on back to back days. Considering this being my last training week for Fatdog 120  what better time to quench that thirst than NOW?

Vince and I began running around 9am. He was only planning on running the first 5-6 miles with me and then turning around before heading to Utah for Tushars 100k skyrunning race.

It was gradual and we were basically gliding our way up. We had ran into some of Vinces friends from LA, chatted and continued forward. By 3 miles there's a fork in the road Old Army Pass to the left and Cottonwood Lakes to the right. Due to snow levels on New Army, it was reccommended I run up Old Army Pass. 

We continued running along, pass lakes, exposed rock fields and a few rock lake hoping later we stumbled upon a creek flowing down with snow completely overlapping it with a small tunnel underneath. 

It was magical.

"It's a difficult task, defining beauty, yet so obvious when you see it".

At this point Vince turned around and I was on my own. 

Yesterday was cool, storm brewing in the distance with a cool breeze and today was far from the same. Continuing forward on an exposed trail, up switchbacks in what seemed like an oven. My breathing was light and my legs were moving. I was able to run every step to the top, passing a few backpackers on the way. Not knowing they would be the last people I'd see until the summit. From Old Army pass I accidentally ran on a trail downward until I realized the trail I was supposed to be on was above me. With the mindset of staying present and happy- I brushed off the extra time and climb I put on myself. If there's a wrong way to go, leave it to Sawna to take it! Because I took the wrong trail, however, I had the opportunity to watch a family of Bighorn sheep run by. I caught a glimpse of the last one running in front of me. I call that a win, thank you very much.

Once I got on the right trail pass New Army pass there's a worn path that makes its way up to a ridge line populated by rock towers. This section is exposed and the sun was wearing on me, with no on in sight, I was lonely and trying to remain happy in the moment. Beyond the towers, lies a berren slope of sandy gravel, yay. The Langely Plateau is much longer than it appears from down at the pass. Follow the massive cairns up the mountain as best as you can as this point, you're high, it's hot and extremely steep. I was hardly pushing, thinking this section was never ending. The option of turning around never crossing my mind when actually I was thinking I had all the time in the world to complete this task- as long as I get home to Juniper tonight! 

Above the climb, it "flattens" out for about half a mile until you reach the summit. 

The view was electrifying.

After spending some time taking photos and taking in the view, I began descending. 

This time I wanted to avoid Old Army Pass and try to go down New Army Pass. Yes, I was fully aware of the class 3 scramble and technical terrain- but by golly I was NOT going to go down the switchbacks of heated doom. No gracias!

I ran the entire way toward the pass, passed the same family of big horn sheep to my right as I danced along the ridge- excited for some new views of Cottonwood lakes. 

I ran up to the pass and began jogging down however a few feet down the trail dissapears under a sheet of white carpet. Snow. It's spotty and I was able to shimmy below the trail, seeing foot steps comforted me. However they could've been Chamouns from last Saturdays run (he did the same run). As much as I tried to follow the trail, it inevitably spit me into a chute and I had to go down a class 3 climb that led me to, surprise, more snow. This section was steep. 

My breathing was heavy, from fear of heights (shhhh don't tell anyone) and from this being possibly a very dumb decision. But I tied my jacket around my butt (my BOAUSA shorts are not good for 1. wind 2. butt slides down really steep snow chutes that I could possibly hurt myself but trying not to be scared of) and walked onto the snow, deep breath in hoping for the best, and proceeded to glissade/butt slide down then jumped onto the rocks. Few. That wasn't so bad. Not one point (maybe when I was hugging a rock with nothing but a cliff underneath me) did I think I should turn around or think I couldn't do it but I stood there looking up at what I just did feeling pretty confident but at the same time questioning my sanity. 

The adventure continued with two long snowfield to cross. I tug my feet in and climbed by way across, going slowly and cautiously until I realized what's the worst to happen? (Other than slipping and sliding straight into the lake) the snow was soft and if I slid, I'm capable of stopping myself. So I quickened my step, annoyed at how long this was taking me and probably looking like a buffoon, across the snowfields and finally onto the trail.  

Down the class 3 rock climb and then my butt got frisky on the snow. You can see my path along the snow in the bottom left. (The snow was REALLY soft or otherwise I wouldn't have done this route-  meeeh probably still would've)

I got on the trail and took a moment to myself. 

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Repeat

I loop up at New Army pass and remember my confidence and yet still question my sanity or lack there of. It was only a few years ago where I wasn't comfortable running Griffith Park alone then it was the San Gabes or Mt Baldy for that matter and now here I am.

The rest of the run was pretty uneventful. I didn't run into anyone else (because no one was on New Army) until the beginning of the lakes. Cottonwood lakes are beautiful and, yes, I was extremely thankful for new scenery and ALAS! Tree coverage! It's a few miles back to the car and everything was extremely runnable- for that I was grateful. 

I got back to my car, used my R8 Roller and was on the road back to LA- back to Juniper, beer, and a good vegan home cooked meal. 

The last 48 hours were a whirlwind of adventures- one for the books. I couldn't imagine a better ending to my last training week before FATDOG120. That, my friends, will be another story. 

Till next time,

Peace, love and happiness 

ADVENTURE GEAR:

Pack: Nathan sports VaporHowe 12L Vest (That Rhea and Andrew gave me for my bday!!)

L/S: Inov8 Long Sleeve half zip

Tank/Hat/Buff: Run highs tank by Territory Run Co

Windbreaker/Buffs: Inov8 Wind shell

Shoes: Inov8 Trail Roc 285

Socks: Stance run

Food: GuEnergy Gels FOR THE WIN and the Roctane drink is shockingly REALLY good. (if only the lemon berry wasn't backordered till after Fatdog 120... so sad)

(Trader Joes burrito made me sad- first time)

Paleo Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe (FTW)

Ingredients

• 2 cups blanched almond flour
• 2 tablespoons coconut flour
• 1/2 teaspoon Celtic sea salt
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract (I use double strength)
• 1/2 cup ghee or coconut oil (or butter), melted
• 1/2 cup coconut nectar (maple syrup works well too)
• 3/4 cup dark chocolate chips**

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
• Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl.
• Combine wet ingredients in a small bowl.
• Mix wet ingredients into dry ingredients.
• Use a small cookie dough scoop* or form into 1/2 inch balls and place on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet. (I used a Silpat.)
• Original recipe

Beacon Rock 50k: Is this real life? Is this just fantasy?

Happiness captured by Glenn Tachiyama. (Support race photographers)

My face hurts.

Legitimately hurts.

Is it possible to smile too much?

My stomach is cramping from laughing and I'm out of breath, no not from running, but from singing at the top of my lungs.

If you would've asked me on Friday if I would've thought the day would evolve into so much happiness- I would be in disbelief.

But alas!

It is true.

Not happening.

My hands cover my face as I hold back tears.

With merely 4 hours of sleep each night this week and then working all day- I was feeling slightly overwhelmed.

It's nearly 11am Friday morning and I'm sitting at the Golden Road Brewery in LAX.

With my 6am flight cancelled, unable to board any other flights (my sister was able to snag the last 7am seat) till 11:55am, I was determined to stay hopeful.

What helps?

Beer.

Always.

Two years ago I ran

Beacon Rock 50k as my first 50k race

and instantly fell in love with not just the race but the weekend and its entirety.

I looked forward to being able to return to Portland the following June to run it again.

Unfortunately last year I was hospitalized during the race weekend.

Experiencing the beautifully HOT weekend and race merely from photos and videos my friends sent me from the comfort of the hospital bed.

The FOMO was real.

(Fear of Missing Out)

I couldn't wait to go back this year.

Determined that nothing would stop me I found myself at the airport thinking...

WHY UNIVERSE!

Taking the last sip of my second Wolf Among Weeds IPA as I let it wash away the remnants of my vegan breakfast burrito.

I say farewell to the new friends I made at the table who were all shocked at the idea of traveling to run 31 miles in the mountains all while they party in Cabo San Lucas.

With tired eyes, a full belly and slightly intoxicated Sawna, I bored my flight.

I'd like to say everything went smoothly after that, however, that is not factual.

We then sat on the plane for over an hour, technical issues they said.

With my sister Nicole, Andrew, Rhea and Joel all already in Portland my hopefulness was quickly disappearing.

A slight pang of jealousy that everyone was already there and here I was spending hours in the Airport.

But I made it- landed a little after 3pm.

I did a little happy dance as the gang pulled up to pick me up from the airport.

With a happy heart and a very overpacked car, we headed to our next destination.

BEACON ROCK STATE PARK.

 

Unlike last years heat, this weekends weather predictions all had red lightning bolts.

As a heat lover, Ic cringed at the idea of getting poured on the entire day.

I'm a California girl, running in the heat is my jam.

How to pack a car- throw it all in.

We arrived at Beacon Rock State park and instantly set up camp before the inevitable storm hit.

With temps in the low 60's, the rain didn't seem to bother anyone- not even this Cali girl.

The evening was spent over a BBQ while other runners brought their favorite homemade side dish.

Vegan cookies, cupcakes, hummus, pies, dips, salads galore!

GETINMYBELLY

And that doesn't even include the amazing sausages the amazing  folks were grilling.

(Vegan and non vegan)

Seeing all my friends and making new friends made the mornings events quickly disappear.

The weekend is going to be grand.

Gangs all here

3am: It's pouring rain

4am: It's pouring rain

5am: It's pouring rain

6am: It's pouring rain.

6:30 am the rain has stopped.

I wake before our alarm feeling completely rested and ready for the days adventure.

A few weeks ago I had thought today would be an all out effort but after rolling my ankle and having to take over a week off of it- I knew I wanted to make the day a fun adventure.

A rainy, wet and muddy adventure.

My race day gear included:

My favorite colorful Boa shorts

Injini tall socks

New Balance Vazzee Summits 2

(Which may or may not have caused my left toe nail to fall off from Gorge 100k)

Territory Run Co Hat and Singlet

Run Like a girl Buff

Nathan Handheld

OR Hellium 2 Rain shell

(That I immediately removed and then forgot at the race!)

As 8 am approached James quickly gave his announcement.

"Be Safe"

3.2.1..

"Go!" the energy from every runner was nothing short of a  locomotive beginning it's first turns of a long haul, slow and steady and building with time.

To summarize the course is that it is a 25k loop around the state park.

50k runners run two loops and the 25k run one.

It's an extremely fun course other than you run to the finish line and have to go back and complete another loop.

You kick start the course on pavement but it's a short and sweet decent into the park.

The majority of the course is on the best trails that Beacon Rock has to offer (at least form what I've been told).

You run over Hardy Ridge, Hardy Creek and Hamilton Mountain.

ON Hardy Ridge their is options to go off the trail a bit to check out the views along the Gorge.

IF it was a crustal clear day you get the see the views of the Cascades and the snow on Mt Hood.

One complete loop offers about 3700 ft in gain with two fairly big climbs following a pretty sweet decent after.

I found myself maintaining the same stride as Andrew and we began catching up on life's events.

I don't even remember our conversations but we couldn't stop.

We continued running and chatting as if this was just a normal training run on our local trails.

With every new turned we both gawked at how beautiful the trails were, opening up our arms as if to hug the landscape.

I prefer the air quality next to the I-5 Freeway. Thank you.

We continued forward along the course feeling happy and strong as we whisked through the shrubs and over the rocks with hands lightly grazing the bright moss covered trees.

The trees all wore a vibrant green coat that sang soft sweet melodies as we ran by.

Photo by Andrew mid race

Everything looked different since my run here two years ago.

With the course receiving an immense amount of rain than it had the last two years, the change was welcomed as the footing on the trail was in my favor.

Soft and accepting within each step.

My focus strayed away from my still slightly swollen ankle and shifted to the conversation I was maintaining with Andrew.

Time stood still as I rejoiced in the moment.

It wasn't until almost the turn around the I realized, oh we are almost half way done.

I hadn't focused so much on our mileage but more in the amount of fun we were having.

My stomached ached and I knew the sweet oatmeal I had for breakfast was making a run for it.

Things got serious real fast.

And not in the way I want it to.

Did I mention the Wyest Wolfpacks aid station and their incredible cycling outfits.

Top notch volunteers

made for a swift and incredibly fun time with every water bottle fill and stop for some oreos(and pickles).

Leaving the aidstation gifts you with a pretty sweet descent and added bonus of adrenaline from the cycling groups dance moves.

It really set the tone for a fun pace as we flew the next few miles to the turn around.

We embraced it, both Andrew and I matched each others paces as we laugh welcomed the featherlight footing that came along with our controlled, runnable descent.

We confirmed with each other that we wanted to stay and a maintainable pace- saving our legs for the end of the race and to honestly continue to enjoy our day without destroying our bodies.

It was such a wonderful experience to be at each other's exact same level, have the same approach toward the race and really just laugh along the way.

Before we knew it we passed the half way point and begun our first climb on the second loop.

We chatted with two local girls from Oregon, getting to know each other as the miles clicked by.

Andrew and I ended up passing them as we approached the aidstation.

I felt great.

My face did not.

My stomach did not.

My face hurt from smiling too much, my stomach hurt from laughing to hard.

I can not recall a race where I enjoyed myself this much.

Getting to run side by side with my best friend pretty much made the entire trip worth it.

We sang Bohemian Rhapsody and many other songs at the tops of our lungs as the weather changed with each turn we made.

Rain, sunshine, fog, rain- the weather may have been fluctuating but our attitude and mood never altered.

Mid race photo shoot

We continued, step by step motivating each other and just embracing the days event.

Stopping to take only a few photos- can you blame us!?!

The day, despite the rain, was GORGeous.

Before we knew it we were on the descent to the finish, already passing my sister who was having a rough time physically but her spirits were high- she was glowing with happiness to be in the beautiful scenery.

Just as we started together, Andrew and I crossed the finish line together- beaming with the utmost excitement of the days miles flying by.

We both gave James a high five and Rich passed us our Beacon Rock 50k camping mug (THEY'RE AWESOME)

At the same time I was gifted the 3rd place female growler.

My first and definitely my most prized possession.

Dooooooooooode. 

The stoke was high.

We were then congratulated by Joel who also had a stellar race and finished 6 minutes before us.

We warmed up, grabbed a beer and several pieces of pizza and waited for Rhea and Nicole who finished shortly after us.

Rhea, who despite got a bit lost, still had PR of over an hour from last years race!

Everyone was a rockstar!

The weather gods decided to approve of our celebration and gift us with a beautiful blue sky and decently warm weather.

Couldn't have asked for a better day!

The evening continued with endless pizza and beer and perhaps too much whiskey for the lightweight that is me.

Sorry everyone

I couldn't be happier by all of our performance.

And the adventure was not over yet!

Sunday we rose early, packed the car, said our goodbyes and departed for some much needed breakfast.

Feeling the beers from the night before we all deserved an extra side of (Cheeselss please)potatoes and a bloody mary, thank you!

We visited Joel's friend Taras house/farm/land.

ERMYGOD when can I move in?

Then we walked across the Bridge of Gods.

The

Bridge of the Gods

is a steel truss cantilever bridge that spans the Columbia River between Cascade Locks, Oregon, and Washington state near North Bonneville.

The Pacific Crest trail Crosses the Colombia River on the Bridge of the Gods, and the lowest elevation of the trail is on this bridge. 

This is my super happy face but if you don't feed me soon the hanger will be real. 

Sketchy AF. Don't look down, the steel holes are big enough for you feet to fall through... well not really but sure felt like it

The only thing I could think about as we walked across(and back) on the bridge was that Lani will be doing the same trek in just a month or two on

her PCT adventure

.

It's a pretty scary trek with the wind roaring by pushing you either toward the moving cars or into the railing toward the water.

Afterward we stopped at

Thunder Island brewery

for a local brew and to purchase some for future PCT hikers.

Look Lani! I bought you a beer! Well we all did- but I think you only get one!

With this visit being my sister Nicole's first time in both Washington and Oregon, we had to take a pit stop for a nice hike to the Horsetail falls.

I had never been to any of the waterfalls without it actually being apart of the

Gorge Waterfalls 100k.

Afterward we eat, hung out at the coolest food truck center, pet every puppy around and packed up to leave for the airport.

Portland definitely has its fair share of cute puppies.

And can proudly say we physically pulled the car over to pet a puppy.

No joke.  

THIS WAS THE PUPPY... well not exactly but identical. You'd pull over and ask the owners if you could pet the puppy like a creep too!

Till next time all!

Peace, love and happiness!

Photo by Glenn Tachiyama (Support you race photographer!)

I've missed this angel face! One day I'll drive her to Beacon Rock so she can experience it herself!

SHOUT OUTS:

Joel Ballezza who handles my hanger/drunkeness like a champ, picked each of us up from the airport, drove us everywhere and brought all the campsite necessities. (We will make you a coffee snob, don't you worry).

Rich Lorton at

Vision For Enrichment

 for having magical sports massages and constantly moves his schedule around to help me when I'm constantly injuring myself.

 Coach JP at

Crossfit Ganbatte

 for helping me get strong and stay strong! The endurance program is incredible and every single coach/member is supportive and encouraging beyond words!

Chris Vargo

for creating a training schedule that was maintainable and held me accountable!

And my roommate

Derek Sepe

who let me use his computer to write this because my 2005 laptop is FRIED and who also watched Juniper for me!

And of course to the amazing staff and volunteers of

Rainshadow Running

for the countless hours and hard work they put in for the entire weekend.

Snow, Ice, Rain and Orcas 50k Round 2

I'm going to be very honest, I've been dreading this blog post.

Lack of inspiration to write I would assume.

To be frank, lack of motivation to do anything and writing is at the top of the list.

But here I am, on my fourth version of this blog post and still not very satisfied with any form of sentence I string together.

It's okay, I tell myself.

Not all things can be all sunshine and butterflies, but within every experience there is a lesson to be learned. Lately I've gotten a lot of those-

lessons

.

Life waving its finger at me saying “

Sawna, you should know better

”.

But

Alas!

I do what I want, 

don't listen to my body, 

don't let myself recover and inevitably end up with a lingering injury for over a month that I just can't shake.

There is no one to blame

but myself.

Several lessons to be learned.

Thus, do not do as I do.

If anything... learn from what I do and do better.

ha.

Alright, so where are we?

Orcas Island 50k

, yes.

My second time! (

Read my first racereport HERE

).

Let me begin this series of lessons with a bing of pain I felt in my calf early December- a strain in my soleus.\ I attempted to rest but my source of income demands me to be on my feet...

all day long.

Instead of running, I filled my time with yoga; stretching, hiking and a bunch of pity parties that I've gotten pretty good at throwing.

It lingered, it got better, it got worse, it got better again but it never stuck.

The week leading up to the race it seemed to feel fine, I was able to run- albeit very slowly, but run nonetheless.

I told myself that I would go thru with Orcas, but it wouldn't be a “race” like I intended on initially when I signed up.

If I woke up Saturday morning and didn't feel 100% I would volunteer or walk the entire course... at least that's what I told myself.

The Thursday before the race I found myself chatting up a storm with Rich founder of

VFE

while receiving a sports massage. 

I was shocked at how good my body felt as I walked out and felt a bit more confident going into the weekend.

Flying into Seattle I knew I would be in for a treat.

We began Friday with a mini tour for Tony, for his first time visiting Seattle. 

It included some touristy places like Pikes market, the gum wall as well as some hot apple cider, cinnamon rolls and cookies- galore!

When you're EXTREMELY late for the ferry yet you somehow still make it as one of the last cars- YOU CHEER!

Smile guys ;)

Unlike last years race, this weekend's weather was to be a stormy one; snow, rain you name it!

Being a SoCal girl, I welcomed it with opened arms.

Literally.

As we drove to Anacortes, the window down, my head and arms flaring out trying to catch the snowflakes graciously floating from the sky.

"The adventure begins"

, I tell myself.

BAGS PACKED

Look guys.... SNOW!

Saturday morning we awoke to a bunk house full of eager faces.

It was slightly raining outside and we all began preparing for the days adventure.

Coffee in hand I couldn't bare to drink it, overwhelmed with doubt about today's quest.

I am no stranger to doubt, lately she visits quite often but doesn't linger too long.

I pushed her to the side and let the excitement of being outdoors control my morning instead of the negativity of doubt.

Slightly creepy photo by Tony Hart ;)

Checking in was a breeze and the minutes before the race started was used to say hi to all the friends I've made in the PNW these last few years of running Rainshadow races.

James pre race details "it's raining... be careful... possible ice... be careful"

So many friendly faces to greet, to hug, to catch up with that time flew by and suddenly we were all outside listening to the clock tick down.

It was still raining as we set off and Orcas 50K began.

I am trying to find the right words to describe how I felt the first few miles of the race.

I wish I looked this good.... 

The way I picture it is one of those waving inflatable arm-flailing tubes you'd find at promotional stores.

I know how to run, but somehow couldn't seem to connect my brain to my flailing body parts and heavy breathing.

It was painfully difficult to stay slow, catch my breathing and not speed up like my brain wanted to do.

It helped that the road was filled with ice and snow, demanding my attention with every foot strike.

See flailing arms... and Joel makes the photo a winner. Photo by the amazing Glenn

Still, once past the first climb on the road, I was unable to get a hold of my breathing nor my wacky arm movements and posture.

Feeling the extra 10 pounds I'd gained from my lack of activity this last month- each leg was it's own wooden log I had to drag across the trail. (It happens, I know)

The first half of the race, to be quite honest, was not fun.

I didn't enjoy how my I felt, how slow I was going and I was really letting myself get upset over it.

Arguments formulated in my mind as I quickly gave in to them.

Have you had one sided arguments with yourself?

It's not fun nor is it productive but still, I continued on.

I had regretted my extra jacket I wore and had to pull to the side to remove it- it was cold but not that cold.

Once I felt I had a good groove going back on the trail, I had quickly remembered setting my phone on the ground when removing said jacket and had to turn around to retrieve it.

Ohhhh my phone, the least of my worries.

Back in the right direction I found with my persistent attempt to keep my pace down, my breathing light and my mind clear- I began to feel the motion of running becoming easier and easier.

With that I let myself gain speed.

Mind you, this is around 16-17 miles.

The negative Nancy that had been occupying my thoughts the first half of the race finally disappeared.

HELLLOOOOO Positive Polly!

What took so long?

My breathing began to normalize as I stayed present on the trail.

Although I found most of the sections leading up to the Powerline trail to be very runnable, with the snow and ice it began extremely dangerous and slippery.

ICE ICE BABY

I was most thankful for wearing tights when I found myself face planted on the trail. 

My knees caked in mud while adrenaline shoots through my very core.

I arrived at the third aid station, North Arch mile 20.3 of the race feeling warmed up and pretty excited for the Powerline trail.

I grabbed a pickle and a corner of a PB&J and quickly set off. 

(

Apparently that's the only thing that I wanted- I eat 3 sets of those and that was it

)

"Take it easy Sawna"

, I told myself.

Although I may have felt great, 

may have felt as though I could push it, 

I had to tell myself that to keep it slow.

Nothing is worth injuring myself further.

So I paced myself alongside a guy from Seattle.

Seth I believe is his name.

I stuck next to him and we conversed the first half the trail.

I ran every moderately flat or downhill section in order to break up the arduous climb that is Powerline trail.

I knew I was going slower than last year and I was ok with it.

Hand on knees, pushing each foot forward- the slight rain began to change to snow.

I couldn't help my smile and be thankful for the beautiful sight.

Despite the slippery trail, running while it snows is a magical experience and I was giggly from it.

I felt great!

What an opposite feeling from this morning.

Every ounce of my body was awake and moving forward with such ease.

WHY CANT EVERY RUN BEGIN THIS WAY?

Oh yeah... maybe if I trained it would.

I fell into a nice rhythm as I climbed Mt. Constitution, the final big climb before the last aid station and long descent to the finish.

The trail was packed with snow and I found it difficult to grasp the trail with each step, slipping slightly backward with each step forward.

Nothing at this point bothered me, my thoughts were filled with the scenery that surrounded me.

Light puffy balls of snow floating down from the sky, finally resting on its new home along the trail.

The time went by in slow motion, feeling as though I was merely a guest of the moment and thanking mother nature for this glimpse of beauty.

The climb barely phased me as I watched the dark green mossy trees slowly get covered by a blanket of snow.

What a view!

It's not something I get to experience too often and its these moments I cherish so deeply.

I jogged up to Mt. Constitution, where the aid station was supposed to be (it was moved due to icy roads) and was quickly greeted by Joel who was petting a dog and chatting up some locals.

We were able to enjoy some of the trail together, like we did last year.

From Mt. Consitution the views were stunning from what you could see between the clouds and snowflakes. I waved to Glenn as I ran by him in what was the perferct photo opt! 

THANK YOU GLENN! 

(

I can not imagine how LONG he spent cold up there taking pictures of the entire run... support his work by buying his photos!!!)

With the knowledge of the last decent before me and with no more major climbs to come I was feeling a rush of excitement.

This section was purely magical, letting myself give in to gravity and run the final descent.

The trees glistened as I breezed by, passing a few runners just as excited as I was to welcome the food and drink at our final end where James would be giving out high fives.

At this point I felt great.

No aches or pains or discomfort- just happiness.

For a moment I wished it didn't have to end, the reason why I enjoy longer races is because I normally have a second wind at the end of a 50k and can push for a stronger second part of a race if it were, say, double the distance.

But I digress.

I am welcomed to a solid congrats from James and a high five as I pass the finish line and I couldn't be happier with the days event.

Despite my initial doubt, I overcame my disbelief in myself and got it done.

The race may not have went the way I intended on it to, but I'll take what I can get. 

Congrats Tony!!! Orcas was his first Ultra distance!

Joels "This is how I really feel" photo

Post race is the reason I race at all!

Pizza, beer, and endless happy smiles and conversation with amazing like minded folk.

It was great to catch up with so many friendly faces and talk about each amazing race experience.

With the conditions the way that they were, each of us handled the monstrous weather and came out alive to tell our tales.

Our bunkhouse was filled with some strong runners and overall amazing people.

One of my favorite conversations was with a couple from Montana and it was about, shockingly,

AVOCADOS.

Don't get me started.

I can talk about avocados

... all.... day... long.

Also my avocado may have exploded hence why I had to share it with my new friends...

Bacon avocados guys.... drool

It was a pretty stellar weekend to say the least.

Back in Seattle, I was able to catch up with some friends and get stuck in an insane snow storm.

Always an adventure.

Wine tasting with our friend Mandy while planning our Rim to Rim to Rim trip in May!

Snowstorm+flight changed to next day= Night snowshoeing

Sawna+ snow= KID

Over 8 inches of snow over night. This happens regularlry in Issaquah right?

I don't remember the last time I made a snow angel.

Snowshoeing

I'm sorry I'm not sorry

I'm definitely very happy to be back home after a weekend of constant stimuli.

Still, with lingering pains as I write this post. 

This week, with zero dog runs on my agenda, I've decided to take a break from running and focus on recovery.

This is new for me.

I'll let you know how it goes...

All this blog writting makes for a ruff time for Juniper. I'm paw-sitive she needs attention

Till next time,

Peace, love and happiness.  

I know... love for all the memes! But seriously, I have Gorge 100k in 8 weeks.. yikes!

I drank the kool-aid from the Devils Punchbowl

I can feel the heaviness in my eyes as I tiptoe into my apartment.

My body begs for a good night's rest yet it's nearly 2 a.m. on Monday and I've just gotten off work.

Crawling into bed, trying not to make any movement that would wake Juniper.

And I'm out before my head hits the pillow.

Suddenly, and far from graciously, I'm startled awake.

Petrified at the feeling of something hitting my legs.

BAM.

BAM.

BAM.

BAM.

And then quickly it stops.

I've been asleep maybe 5 minutes and I notice Junipers tail is smacking my legs yet she is not awake.

I can hear her low grunting noises.

"Is she panting?"

I think to myself.

Her legs twitch and begin to move amongst the sheets.

Her tail begins to wag again.

She's dreaming, as she does often, that she's running.

Looking down at Juniper I think of the days events-

it was all worth it.

It's 4:55 Sunday morning.

WOW!

I'm completely shocked that I've woken up before my alarm clock.

I feel energized and excited for the adventure that is planned for the day.

Today Lani, Juniper and I will be running a loop in the San Gabriel Mountains.

Some of the trails I frequent often but more than half I have yet to experience.

The Devil's Punchbowl

Natural Area is a Los Angeles County Park, also within the San Gabriel Mountains and Angeles National Forest. It is located South of the Pearblossom highway, about an hour and a half northeast of Los Angeles depending on how fast you drive.

Some background information if interested:

The most conspicuous features of the park are geological. 

The Punchbowl is a deep canyon cut by the runoff of large quantities of water from the higher San Gabriel Mountains occurring over a long period of time. 

These mountain peaks above the park are 8,000 feet in elevation while the Nature Center is located at 4,740 feet. 

The peculiar uptilted rock formations to be seen in the entire area are layers of sedimentary rocks that were formed long ago by the depositing of loose material in horizontal layers by water. 

Later they were squeezed into their present steeply-tilted form by continuing action of uplift along the punchbowl and Pinyon Faults and pressures along the the San Anderas Fault. 

Well you learn something new every day!

My goal was to leave my apartment by 6am, however when you are packing for two, time slips away far too quickly.

With the car packed and both Lani and Juniper ready to go, we left closer to 7am and began our drive to South Fork Campground.

South Forth Campground

is just a few miles past the Devils punchbowl and

 is a major trail head for exploring the north-facing desert slopes of the San Gabriel Mountain.

From the campground we will take a 5 mile trial to Islip Saddle. 

This, my friends, is all new to me!

I've ran in the San Gabriels religiously these last few years and it still amazes me that there are trails I have yet to experience still. 

The trail up to Islip Saddle is a 5 mile and change climb with 2100 in elevation gain. 

It started off pretty chilly as we entered the canyon but the sun slowly crept over the mountains blessing us with its warmth. 

Both Lani and I removed our jackets as we drooled over the view. 

The immense beauty of this landscape is nothing short of incredible. 

The tint of the trees changed a

s night left the sky

. When 

illuminated, the leaves exposed t

heir natural lime green beauty, simple but striking

. 

You could see the change in color throughout the ridge lines as we headed toward Islip Saddle.  

The trees dazzling in their spotlight and pine-scented air. 

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees" Thoreau

"I LOVE this smell" Exclaimed Lani, throwing up her hands, as we pass a carpet of snow.

"Oh I just farted" I quickly responded. 

We giggle and proceed forward. 

The one thing you learn when you run with us is our nonattendance of any kind of filter. 

Diarrhea of the mouth.

Word vomit. 

It is what it is- and we like it like that. 

A mile and a half in, with the sun comes warmth and the removal of my jacket.

Closer to Islip- lots of snow.

Lani, who I met through Instagram two years ago, has been my partner in crime since. 

We connected through similar photos that were captured on the same trails.

"Who is this girl?"

I always thought. 

And one day (January 9th 2015 around 10 am...

but who remembers exactly

) we finally went on a run together

(Vasquez rocks)

- after chatting for months. 

Finding out we were:

1. Both vegan

2, Both ultra-runners

3. Trail enthusiasts

4. Crazy in all the right ways. 

It was ultralove at first trail run.

Backpacking Baden Powell for the Meteor Shower

Lake Tahoe shake out run (hobble for me with my sprained ankle)

Broken Arrow Sky Race June 2016. Both our booties captured

San Jacinto Cactus to Clouds- from the desert to 10,834 feet. Nov 2015

Vasquez Rocks+ PCT Fun run October 2015 (Week before JJ100)

Mt. Baden Powell twinning with our Boreas Pack

And here we are almost two years and countless adventures later.

Still bantering over who can burp the loudest and longest

(ahem- no contest there). 

And who can drink the most beer whilst eating vegan pizza

(Attempt made the night prior).

We reach Islip Saddle after several pit stops and hundreds of photos later. 

Nervous that the time has been passing too quickly, I convince Lani that we should skip Mt. 

Williamson and take the road to the PCT connection. 

With a little hesitation, Lani agreed.

We have a

"Go Big or Go Home"

policy but unfortunately I am scheduled to work at 7:30 pm and time isn't necessarily on my side today.

Overwhelmed with the idea of working till 2 am I try to brush it off, reminding myself that working late shifts allows me to adventure during the day.

We jog the road, cutting about a mile and some change from our loop.

We continued on the PCT and then hit the road again for 2.5 miles and change to Buckhorn

(BUCK-HORN)

Campground.

There was snow.

There was ice.

There were pee stops. 

There were gas leaks in high pitch sounds with absolutely no guilty looks given to possibly predict their visit. 

How many times can you hug a tree in one run? I lost count. 

Picnic table before the Buckart Trail begins

Dear Avocado... oh how I love thee.

We continued slowly, taking precaution on the rolling ice covered road. 

Finding a spot with sun, we stopped for some snacks. 

I packed Juniper some steamed sweet potatoes and myself some avocados and almond butter.

Tasty goodness!

From Buckhorn campground

(lets take note that I am spelling it BUCKhorn and not BUTThorn).

you proceed to buckhart trailhead, and then descend 1.5 miles to join the PCT.

Continue right toward the combined PCT/Burkhart trail, we 

passed the agreeably scenic Cooper Canyon Falls that were overflowing with snow melt. 

Legs for days

Lani and I won the #bestrunningbud contest from Ultra running mag

and got some awesome swag. The beanies are one of them <3

The gate into gnarnia must be broken.

We pass the time by telling stories, joking and making very inappropriate comments. 

Crossing Cooper Canyon stream we continue left on the Burkhart trail (PCT goes right).

As we continue to climb, as does the temperature. The trail begins to dry out in the exposed sun as we try to roll our sleeves up.

Lani truly enjoing the fart musical 

Such a babe here in the San Gabes

From here you commence a long climb toward Burkhart Saddle, reminding me of Trailapocolypse last April. 

The saddle is a gap on the high crest of Pleasant View Ridge, the desert-boardering ridge of the San Gabes.

From the Saddle it's as if you enter a door to another area completely, one less exposed to sun. 

The North side offers a welcoming descent carpeted with fresh snow rather than dry trail and warm sun. 

The trail was slightly visible, soft snow mixed with ice demanding one's complete attention.

SNOW on the Northface

Happy pup, hesistant Lani

Super sketchy spot. Lani was smart and put her spikes on- entire section was solid ice.

Lani put her spikes on as I stubbornly continued forward without mine- slowly, but safely as some parts were completely iced over. 

Juniper returning to us with glee, beckoning us to follow her. 

Her face portrays a look of

"I know the way- follow me!"

as we keep our grasps on the side of the mountain and balance on the icy section. 

Juniper's excitement and happiness was contagious as our fear slowly began to dissipate.

Oh 30+ miles... no big deal. 

We take the descent slowly and carefully until the snow disappears. 

From there we have a few miles of rolling hills to the intersection of the Punchbowl. 

The view now leading away from the Snow covered mountains and only of the Mojave desert with hints of the Punchbowl.

Here the clean, dry air bears the melded exudations of both pines and desert sage, a dramatic difference from just a few miles before.

Devils Punchbowl

Have I mentioned how much I love my new injini snow socks? 

I'm not here to necessarily give you a play by play of the trail

But an adventure of some girls in the mountains with only one main goal. 

To have fun. 

Doing what we do best- twinning.

No, we didn't get to go to the Devils Punchbowl Natural area but from the looks of it from the trail- it's beautiful and very different from just mountain views.

We weren't worried about pushing ourself or challenging each other. Instead we enjoyed eachothers' company as we were enjoying an activity we both are passionate about. 

We stopped, we enjoyed the views, we took photos- we basked in the gift of what surrounded us. 

On our descent toward the car, we were gifted with a goodbye worth a million smiles. 

I had to take a moment to pick my jaw up from off the ground. I was awestruck by the beauty that could be witnessed in every direction..

With it's snow covered trails, todays climb to eight thousand feet above the monotonous, flat grid of the San Gabe Streets to Mt Islip was a spectacle as the sun rose. 

And now- the sun sets as we bask in the cooler, drier, pine-scented air.

We celebrated with cold beers, chips and salsa at the car. 

Treats we had been dreaming of and singing about all day. 

After the 1.5 hr drive home, going into work I was still walking on clouds. 

The night passed by quickly despite my utter fatigue and body's demand to sleep. 

A

nd yet, I was beaming!

The following week Juniper and I attempted the loop once again. 

This time I was nervous about heading out on a 30+ run alone in a secluded area. 

I told a few friends where I was going, gave them a time to start worrying if they hadn't heard back from me yet.

Despite my nervousness, I was also excited to spend another day on an adventure with my baby girl, Juniper. 

To my surprise a lot of the snow had melted over the past seven days, allowing my stride to open up and my legs to fly through the miles.

Juniper and I started at Islip Saddle this time, a forgiving hour car drive with plenty of views along HWY 2. We also included the Mt. Williamson climb which added the extra mile to our loop.

It never seemed to phase Juniper.

I baked sweet potatoes, had packets of almond butter and also a Super Burrito to snack on.

We shared it all, just not the avocados.

Those are just for me. 

The miles flew by, and this time the conversation was one sided.

Only when I hold a sweet potato or half the burrito will Juniper chime in.

Gosh. The things I do for you and you can only converse with me on your terms.

Once we arrived at the intersection that veers off to the Punchbowl, I turned on my phone and was surprised to get reception.

I notified some friends that I had arrived at mile 20 of 31. (At this time Juniper's GPS watch said she had ran 22 miles).

Seeing that this will be Junipers longest run, I vetoed the notion of going to the Punchbowl.

My knuckles turn pink, I've never gripped my hands so tightly.

I'm running with my fists up as we entered South Fork Campground.

Juniper and I headed toward the trailhead that leads to Islip, which coincidentally is next to the red truck that had once contained 15 guys in orange jumpsuits. Community service I guess?

The truck reads a prison's name I'm not very familiar with and care far less to stop and ask.

The hairs on my arms strike up instantly and shivers shoot straight down my spine.

The one time I want Juniper to growl or bark- she doesn't.

She tried approaching the pack of jail-free-for-the-day men and I yell at her to return to my side.

I was scarred shitless as I hear men call from the group to come over.

Nope.

We run. 

Fist clenched.

Full sprint engaged.

I notice two of the men walking toward my direction and I grab Junipers extendable leash and we bolt for the mountains.

Oh Great. 

Heading straight into a canyon

—

scenes of a low-budget serial killer movie.  

Fuck that. I try to remember when I was 8 and my brother taught me how to box.

Juniper and I continue running deeper into the canyon and as I put some distance between us, the strangers easily lost interest.

But with my blood boiling with adrenaline, Juniper continue toward Islip on high alert.

The five mile climb consisted of me trying to lecture Juniper that not all people on the trails are our friends but she was too busy chasing squirrels.

Time clicks by as miles pass.

As the sun shifts locations, the shades of light through the trees were all it took to lift my fears.

What a different view from just a few days ago!

Jogging up to Mt Islip, Juniper and I hit maybe one patch of snow and that was it. Most of the snow already melted from the weeks heat. The comforts of my car and my last avocado awaited me as well as some stew I had made for Juniper.

Exactly 3:30pm and we arrive at my car.

I look back at Juniper, still playing in the snow while I prepare her food.

I took a moment to thank the universe for her gift of endurance.

I don't know where she came from, what exact breed she is but she is a mountain running machine.

That I know for sure.

Current situation:

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL RUFF HELP ME MEOW.

Till next time,

Peace, love and dog/kittie snuggles

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Mind vs The Mountains: A mental battle of strength

I don't know where I am.

I sit- stuffed in a box.

My hands on both sides and yet still touching my face.

Completely confined in this restricted space- with the little space that I was given.

You see, I was put here.

Why?

You ask.

Well, that is what I'm about to tell you.

As I sit here in this thick glass cube I can barely see through the gloom that surrounds me and you know what I see?

I see me.

But it's not me, it's an impersonator!

A fragment of who I am.

We shall call her Doubt.

Doubt is what controls my being when I'm lacking the motivation or the strength to do what I believe makes me happy.

That very idea of happiness is questioned.

And instead I am overcome by a darkness, a lack of mental strength, an overwhelming amount of negativity and most of all doubt-

doubt in myself.

Many times I find myself in this situation, whether it's by an injury, poor diet, stress levels, and possibly just a mere lack of motivation.

A month ago I raced

Javelina 100

and ran my way back into a re injured right ankle.

I brushed it off as a mere ache.

This "ache" ignited every morning once my foot hit the ground- ultimately making me train less.

Inevitably with less training, I'm more willing to eat poorly and drink more thus jumping into a downward spiral head first..

Doubt swooped in, and took charge of the situation.

It's Monday and I wake already lethargic before my day has even begun.

It's gloomy out and the sun has yet to begun rising and yet here I am.

The construction next door that seems to have been going on for years starts at the crack of dawn.

I consider it a free alarm clock.

Pouring my coffee I shift around the filter and eventually it breaks and leaks all the grinds into my already filled cup.

Sigh.

So it's going to be one of those days.

If I could I'd crawl back into bed and pull the sheets over my head but I have an appointment for a dog run and the construction noise is enough to get me out of the apartment swiftly.

The morning continues like clock work.

A ritual I perform almost 4 days a week.

With the day off I feel as though I should do something productive and I send my friend a running invite.

I immediately regret the offer.

The idea of sleep overwhelms me.

I don't have the energy.

I'm too tired.

My foot aches.

Listening to Doubt give me all the excuses on why I shouldn't go- I confirm with my friend and eventually meet him off Lake and Loma Alta dr. At the cusp of what is called Echo Mountain, a portal to the San Gabriel Mountains front range.

On January 6th 1993,

Echo Mountain

was delineated as part of the Mount Lowe Railway monument. ON top of the mountain are the ruins of the "White City", a resort along the scenic Mount Lowe Railway, which could easily be seen from the valley below. Echo Mountain's name is derived from the number of repetitions one's voice could emit into Castle Canyon. During the days of the Mount Lowe Railway "echophones" were set up to assist in voice projections near the best sweet spot.

Doubt reminds me to say that I'll be going extra slow today,

that I'm not strong enough to push myself.

It had rained all day the prior day making the trails very soft.

We converse the entire way to echo mountain and then splitting off to Castle Canyon, one of the steeper routes to Inspiration Point.

The more I hike up the mountain the more sense of relief my body feels.

I could feel the goosebumps shoot down my body as I look out- What a sight!

"

A gift

", I thought.

A precious gift, a spectacle, a show given by mother nature.

We stop a mere minute to enjoy some trail butter and jelly wrapped tortillas made by Tony, my partner in crime for the day. (Along with my sidekick Juniper the ultradog as well).

I can't believe I almost missed this.

With this new burst of energy we continue forward before our bodies get too cold.

On toward Mt Lowe.

Tony and I continue our slow jog up and stop almost instantly when we turned the corner of the trail.

I tilt my head back to face the sky.

A beautiful sight lay before me and I feel the bone chattering cold take over my body.

This

is

incredible.

We continue climbing upward toward Mt. Lowe in a giggle fest.

We are completely stunned at the cloud spectacle before us.

Any ounce of doubt, negativity, or pain escaped me long ago.

It didn't matter

how fast I ran.

It didn't matter

if I received the CR (Course Record on Strava) for this section.

It didn't matter

if it was even recorded.

I was thankful to be outside, so very thankful to enjoy this gift.

I threw my hands in the air and screamed

THANK YOU

at the top of my lungs.

Time stood still, and I rejoiced in the splendor of that moment.

Nothing else mattered.

And for the rest of the run, leaving doubt behind, I remembered what a gift this truly is.

The trails, the beautiful weather, the company- all things I need to remember to appreciate despite having a set back.

I realized I may not always be at my peak performance pace and I'm ok with that.

Driving home that evening I was glowing with the days events.

Wishfully thinking that all days in the future will be exactly like today.

 It's Tuesday night, I'm working and it's 9:30 pm.

Stress overwhelms me with tomorrows activities.

Doubt tells me to cancel.

Doubt tells me I can't do it.

I brush doubt aside and know I can at least try.

My mental strength holding on to what strings it has left and begins to rebuild itself.

With a dog run appointment early at 7.

I carpool with my roommate Derek and Juniper and drop them off at the trail head.

Not knowing whether both dogs would get along I didn't want to run them together unless having a meeting on trail.

After my dog appointment Derek, Juniper and I make our way to Sierra Madre where we are to pick up Tony and off we go.

Where do you ask?

It's Los Angeles best kept secret!

Please don't tell anyone.

Do you really want to know?

Well for the non Angelinos...

it's the mountains.

Just like Echo Mountain and Mt. Lowe, the San Gabriel Mountains offer a wide range of spectacle.

And today we are headed to Mt. Baldy.

Mount San Antonio, colloquially referred to as

Mt. Baldy,

is the highest peak of the

San Gabriel Mountains

, and the highest point in Los Angeles County.

Mount San Antonio's sometimes snow-capped peaks are visible on clear days and dominate the view of the

Los Angeles Basin

skyline.

The peak is pyramid shaped, with a steep south face (Baldy Bowl) and a shallower north face. The summit is accessible via a number of connecting ridges along hiking trails from the north, east, south and southwest.

Snow!

In Los Angeles-

you wouldn't believe it.

We try to keep it a secret, we try to not give it so much hype.

But today, right now- I'll show you!

We had a group of impressive runners today including Juniper my ultra dog sidekick.

We decided to go up the skihut, not even considering the dangers that devils backbone could produce.

I was already tired from the days events yet glowing from excitement for the adventure that lays ahead.

The sun was shining and we all slowly stripped off layers of clothing.

The entire group minus Tony and me were in tights and extra layers on top and were now understanding why we stuck to our shorts.

The sun kissed us with warmth despite the snow on the ground.

Welcoming us to it's gift from a few night ago, patches of snow carpet the trail once leaving the ski hut.

Hikers pass us expressing their concern of our lack of equipment.

We brush them off knowing full well what we are doing.

With this being Baldy's first snow and it still being fresh- the need for spikes was not dire.

With each turn, the trails gifted us with soft snow beneath our feet delicately commanding our attention as the technicality rewards those with short attentions spans a hefty mouthful of cold rock hard ice patches.

I took a moment to thank my body for this amazing gift of endurance, both physical and mental.

For ultras are not just for who are fit but who have the mental strength to continue forward despite the distance and demand on the body.

For we all can

DNF

(did not finish) because we didn't feel like pushing through or we can test our mental strength and finish despite possibly being

DFL

(dead fucking last).

Along the ridge line before the summit we feel it-

the wind.

Despite the heat emanating from the sun, the wind blew a bone chilling cold.

From where we were we could see the blizzard at the top, almost arms reach away.

Here we go!

We reach the peak and mini bullets of snow pummel our face and bodies.

Juniper looks for a spot to hide from the fierce wind and yet cant find relief.

As quickly as we summit- we are off the peak and begin our descent down back to the Ski Hut.

Once we pass the ski hut the snow disappears and the trail allows you to gain momentum.

What a relief it was to let my legs stretch out from all the jarring technical terrain.

From that point I realized how amazing my body felt.

Not for a moment did I question any aches or pains or even fatigue.

Adrenaline rushing through me along with pure happiness.

OHHHHH endorphins... how sweet you are and how addicted I am to you!

We hit the fire road and for the first time in what seems like months I finally feel as though I can open up my stride and run down.

My feet feeling as though barely touching the trail, they move swiftly sin any ounce of pain.

WHAT A DAY!

A true friendsgiving spent doing something we are all passionate about- running in the mountains.

I'm sitting in the box, the cube I've been placed in and it almost feels like cardboard.

A thin material that envelopes me, it's dark here yet there is lights seeping through the cracks.

I feel the warmth against my check, my left calf and my pinky.

I embrace it, with a new feeling overcoming my body.

Hope.

Strength.

It's starting to build.

Through the cracks I can see myself in the distance, Doubt.

You little son-of-a-bitch.

She looks nervous.

It's Monday again and I wake with a sudden alertness.

Despite working till nearly 1 am I am awake before my alarm clock and again before the sun.

This week will be different.

This week is when I start rebuilding my strength and balance.

I'm heading back to the gym.

Crossfit Ganbatte

for their endurance wod.

I can't stress enough how welcoming this group is and how vital it is to find someone, whether a coach or a trainer that understands what you as an athlete needs.

As an ironman athlete and ultra runner, coach and owner JP is one bad ass mother f'er.

It's comforting to be surrounded by like minded endurance athletes all looking to become stronger in their sport.

After class I rushed over to my dog running appointment and head out for a five mile run.

Today is my day off from work which means I have another opportunity to play in the mountains.

I re consider that idea.

Perhaps I should rest.

Maybe I'm pushing myself too much?

With a quick text from Vince, solidifying our meet time- I'm out of the door before you could say Mt. Baldy.

And that's where I'm headed.

Again.

I sit in front of Vinces house waiting for him to get back from a run with some other friends.

YES, I'm a bit ticked that we are starting an hour later but tardiness with Vince is inevitable(Vince is fully aware of this and I am too).

I am filled with worry that it'll get icy, it'll get cold, we won't have time for anything before the sun set.

I get anxious and hurry Vince as he brushes away my anxiety with jokes and puns.

Arriving to Manker Flats, we are met with several hikers leaving.

Knowing full well my dream of using my snow shoes would not pan out so instead I pack my spikes and grab my hiking poles and we head past Ski Hut trail to Register Ridge.

Register Ridge

Steeper than most of the other standard routes up Mt. Baldy. You gain about 2600 ft. of elevation in 1.7 miles. There is also an optional short Class 3 rock climb that you can do (option to hike around available).

The use trail fades away just before you get to the Devils Back Bone trail where you have the option to continue upwards toward Mt. Hardwood peak or left toward Mt Baldy Peak (or right back down Devils backbone toward the lodge and eventually to the parking lot).

Vince and I banter basically the entire way up Register Ridge.

I move extra slow- starting to feel the soreness in my hamstrings from the dead lift done earlier in the morning.

He makes fun of my hiking poles, being a mountain goat himself- he doesn't understand their use.

I slip and slide a little.

Thankful for my new

Salomon sense pro trail shoes.

These shoes have been great for technical trails along with wet terrain.

My feet were TOASTY!

My fear of time loss quickly escaped as we reached the top.

Vince had made the executive decision of not going to Baldy peak but Hardwood instead.

It's closer and with the sun quickly fading- we are less likely to be stuck in the dark.

Just before we hit the backbone trail we are almost knee deep in snow, unable to find the "trail".

Following another set of tracks we continue upward- knowing that is the only direction.

I am amazed at how warm I feel despite the frigid wind.

Thankful for such quality shoes in such insane wet weather.

Having a lot of friends outside of Los Angeles, and mostly outside of California.

They are normally shocked at our quality of mountains when I show photos or post my daily activities.

I know, it's pretty astonishing.

A 10K mountain in our backyard!

Say whhhhhhat?

 We are pretty blessed with these local trails.

I know you probably correlate LA with traffic, high rises, beach life, and obnoxious people.

But when I describe Los Angeles I portray the

mountains, nature, weather, and wonderful outgoing people

.

It does exist outside of the Pacific Northwest ;)

I have an some pretty stellar runs in the San Gabriel Mountains.

Some of my most favorite times have been the last two that I've written about.

But this takes the cake.

I can officially name it my favorite time on

ANY mountain.

Which says a lot.

The photos may not due the moment we had justice- but it comes pretty close.

I find myself back in the box, or what was the box.

The once thick confining cube I sat in lays fragile blanketing my body.

The once thick darkness opens up to fresh mountain air.

I stretch my legs out- wondering why it seemed so hard to move before when it comes effortlessly now.

The box disappears.

I stand up with strength beaming from my toenails to my dark brown bun.

And that's when I see her...

Doubt.

With happiness, shoulders back, head up high I walk toward her with a new sense.. an overwhelming sense of confidence and

POOF!

She's gone.

With her sense of doubt, darkness or weakness that I may have felt overridden with a new power.

The knowledge and understanding that when life gets turbulent it can also quickly become calm if you just believe and be patient.

Mental strength is just as vital as your bodies endurance.

Believing in yourself is the first step toward building that physical strength.

No, I may not be as strong of a runner as I have been but I feel like my mental strength has truly grown.

When I think of past races, it hasn't been my key endurance training that aided me in finished rather my mental strength that enabled me to keep moving forward during low moments and just continue even when I feel like shit. (or when I raced with sprained ankle at Broken Arrow but I also never have laughed that much and had so much fun during a race).

I can run any given day for any given distance when I'm feeling great- any one can!

It's having some degree of mental strength to keep you moving when you aren't having a good day instead of just quiting.

My body put me through that test this month.

Challenging me everyday.

Putting me through what seemed like an ultra marathon just to make it through a day.

I've enjoyed the journey- embraced the suck and continue forward.

What I can do now is work on my weakness instead of embracing doubt and rebuild.

Become stronger and efficient in every aspect-

not just in the mountains.

Sometimes in life, your situation will keep repeating itself  until you learn your lesson.

I think I'm starting to learn that lesson...

Till next time,

Peace, love and happiness.

Postscript:

My computer from 2006 is on its last leg. The amount of time it takes me to write, edit, sycronize photos, links, etc. on this computer is MIND BLOWING.

Hey Monday, it's been real nice sitting on the couch allllll day.

Thankfully both Juniper and I spent allll day in the mountains yesterday (and then I worked a closing shift at work) to allow some rest today...

I believe in a new computer is in my near future... maybe.

Javelina Jundred- Running 100 miles in an oven.

Photo by Sweet M Images

(Current music selection as I write)
It's 11:36pm on October 31st, a date most would reference as Halloween.
I gather all of my things and quickly escape the madness that is my work; a dive bar on Hollywood Blvd. Just finishing up an 8 hour shift as I walk, hobble at best, quickly out before the last strings of my sanity snap.

An eight hour shift here is not ideal, it's definitely a longer shift than normal and despite carrying miles in the hills, right now my feet beg for a minute's rest. Fatigues, sore, restless- my poor body screams for recovery time that I have stolen from it. You see, dear friends, in order to have the time off to run in the desert I had to be available to work on Halloween only the day after hopefully completing 100 miles. Boo. No really, boohoo.

An agreement I made just three weeks prior when I finally signed up for Javelina.
Was it worth it?
An answer I haven't quite confirmed as of yet.

 

A short tease of the Trail Running Film Festival the night before the race.

It's almost 4pm on Saturday, October 29th and I'm running into Coyote Camp aid station.
I instantly spot several friends; Raul, Carlos, Dean and Howie yet all I can focus on is:
DO NOT PASS OUT before the ice bucket.
My eyes fixate on it.

Despite leaving Jeadquarters just a few miles earlier fully drenched, my body packed with ice, I am now bone dry and feel as though my skin is melting.
Strike that, maybe my skin really IS melting.

 

I need ice and I need it fast.
Quickly mumbling my hellos to the gang I try to reset.
 At every aid station they have buckets of ice water with sponges and I soak my entire body.
My body shivering in shock.
I start to regain mental stability as I talk to my friend Howie who is out supporting and photographing all our friends who are running this toasty desert race.

  

"It's so hot!!" is the first thing that comes out of my mouth.
A statement made countless times throughout the day in this TRIPLE digit heat.
I spent a significant amount of time at this aid attempting to reset my over-exhausted body and prepare myself until next aid at Jackass, six and a half miles ahead.

As I begin running from the aid station any happiness regained from the ice refresher quickly escaped as I try to mentally prepare myself for my least favorable section.
This heat is unbearable.
I try to stay close to the man with the blue compression socks.
As weird as that sounds I'm awfully tired of running alone.
Quickly agreeing with whatever pace he keeps I continue my quest forward.
One step in front of the other.
Avoiding any loose rocks that may further hurt my right ankle, this next section is the most technical .

photo by Howie Stern

  

My body screams with fatigue.
My mind fights off my will to stop.
Within each step I feel the tightness of my legs and the shooting pain in my ankle and I beg myeslf to make it end.
Any mental strength I had escaped me long ago.
Why am I putting myself through this?
A question I asked myself countless times throughout the day.
Slowly everything starts to fade.
The vibrant desert color turns into shades of grey.
From the split ends of my crisping braided hair to the aching pain in my toe nails every molecule of my being envelopes this darkness.

       

It's 4am on Friday October 28th and I've woken up 20 minutes before my alarm.
Accepting the earlier rising time I quickly call Juniper over for a quick snuggle before the morning madness begins.
I'm in the guest bedroom of my parents house- where my sweet angel child will be staying over the weekend.
We snuggle for a minute longer and I quickly assess what needs to be done before driving to Sierra Madre and then to Arizona.
My dad makes me coffee the way I like it,
hints of coconut oil and almond milk in a very dark roast gives off the perfect taste.
Walking out to my car I notice there was a guest appearance of rain at some point in the night.
Yawning, I start my car and wave to my dad who never leaves the side walk until I'm out of sight.
I'm so grateful to have my parents so close.
If it was up to Juniper- she'd never leave their house.
She's definitely spoiled with love their and for that I am forever grateful.


The drive to Arizona was uneventful.
The closer we got the more anxious I became.
I felt like a puppy- in the back seat filled with so much excitement I could stick my head out the window as drool escaped my open mouth sun kissing my face.
This year's race invited several friends from all parts of the country and I was eager to share this experience with them.

Hoping my Frida Kahlo costume would win this years costume contest (ran with a drawn in unibrown and mustache and still didnt win)

The 15th Annual Javelina Jundred will take place October 29 – 30, 2016 staged out of the Four Peaks Staging Area at McDowell Mountain Regional Park north of Fountain Hills, Arizona. The 100 Mile distance will be comprised of one 22.3 mile loop that incorporates the Escondido Trail on the far East Side of the park and four 19.45 mile loops on the popular Pemberton, Shallmo, and Cinch Trails.

   

 

 

This will be my second time here at Javelina Jundred, last year being my first completed 100 mile distance.
A weekend I constantly explain as one of the best weekends of my life.
Making new friends on the trail and feeling strong the entire race.
I couldn't wait to come back!

Photo by Howie Stern

It's been twenty minutes since I left Coyote Camp aid station.
I'm 46 miles into Javelina Jundred and I've embraced every negative thought possible.
As I continue to leap frog with the man in the blue compression socks I plan my inevitable end to this race.
Do I trip myself and fall?
Do I blame my rolled ankle?
Should I throw my leg against a cactus?  

My dnf is inevitable- there is absolutely no way I will continue to torture myself.
Why did I think I could do this?
Why didn't I train properly?
Why didn't I heat train?
Why did I spend so much time in the mountains when this is far from a mountain course?

So many questions flood my mind.
Regret weighing heavy in my heart.

Three days prior I held a number 46, waiting for my food after running the Feet Feet Halloween pub run.
I jokingly knocked on wood stating that there's no doubt that I'll make it past 46 miles.
But here I am.
Mile 46 and planning my demise.

The sun beats down on my body, pushing my body closer toward a DNF acceptance.
I take a sip out of my nathan handheld.
The large chuncks of ice have quickly melted into small bits.
My skin is crisping, already several shades darker than just this morning.
Feeling the pain, I wonder how I'll survive a full day a work in a mere two days.

I moan to myself.
My body aches.
I recall every twist and turn that is made from Coyote Camp to Jackass and I feverishly await it to be over.
Walking hurts more than to run so I pace myself into an ultra shuffle.
Trying to keep any resembles of structure in my form as I count down the seconds till the next ice bucket bath.
100k is a good distance I assure myself.
There is no need to continue forward when the option to stop dangles right infront of me so teasingly.

This is not fun.
Not fun at all.
I continue to dig myself deeper into the pain cave.
Hating myself for putting myself into this situation.

The man in blue and I pass several people standing on the side of the trail.
Bent over, hands on knees, salt crystals glistening from their forehead as they mutter that their ok.
Countless people are overheating, exhausted and just plain wiped by this heat.
Myself included.

    

Meet Frida Kahlo- my chosen Halloween Costume

By the second loop I changed into my Boa chilli pepper shorts. I'm also wearing unmatching Stance socks- apparently I only own one sock in every color now.

This idea of pushing our limits, seeing how far we can go- seems like a pretty selfish thing to demand from our bodies.
We eagerly sign up for these races and push our bodies in order to train for the distance.
The races are always difficult.
Pain is inevitable.
It's supposed to be hard.
If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great.
During every race I run, I promise myself to take a break from this taxing activity.
Yet once I finish, I've already broken that promise and begin searching for the next opportunity to put myself through that pain again.
Pain is, nevertheless, a prominent aspect of this sport.
It's something that needs to be overcome.
We run in discomfort, we put ourselves in this situation.
Discomfort is what we seek.
I find myself embracing the feeling and looking forward to that second, third, or forth wind during each race that I know will inevitably happen.
At least I hope it comes.

Not today though.
I have yet to establish any ounce of momentum.
That first wind never happened, any thoughts that any second or third escape my mind.
My body never seemed to accept what I was doing.

Despite the discomfort and definite unhappiness I continue running forward finally arriving at Jackass Junction.
That ice bucket my target.
I am quickly enveloped in a hug by Uncle J who asks me if I'm sick and that I do not look well.

Uncle J  is known for his perceptive abilities. An ultra psychic?

Um... duh!
I don't feel well.
I'm hot.
I'm unhappy.
My body hurts.
The complaining continues in my head but I'll I can manage to say is I'm great.
You're a liar Sawna.
Liar liar and you're pants are on fire.
Well, pretty much.

   

The next section is quite possibly my favorite, energized or not.
A simple glimpse of hope- a slight downhill toward the next aid and then Jeadquarters.
But Sawna, you're legs hurt remember!
You're neausus.
Your ankles hurt.
Your right foot is shooting pain upwards.
and don't forget you're overheating.
Reminders going through my head that yes, constantly go through but despite that I run.
I begin to pick up speed.
Everything hurts- EVERYTHING!
But as I gain momentum, everything starts to hurt less and I continue forward.
Step by step.


At this point in the day the sun is slowly setting offering a slight rest from the heat.
Instead of 100 degrees, it may be in the high 80's at this point.
Still warm but bearable.

I continue forward and  Egan passing people.
Man in blue WHERE ARE YOU?
I believe he was still at the aid station when I left.
We may have barely spoken a few sentences to each other but it was comforting to know someone was around.
I'm overwhelmed by lonieless.
At this point I see Jimmy.
And my heart almost explodes with happiness.
A friendly face.

If I actually had fluids to support tear production I would've started crying there and then.
I was overwhelmed, to say the least.
We ran together for a bit and I shared my fears and how my body felt.
He didn't say too much, suffering on his own level I bet, but what he did say was encouraging and motivating.
A man I hold so much respect for that any words he said I held onto.
Stay positive, Sawna he repeated.
You look strong, he added.

And you know what- deep down inside this machine of a body I've been given, things started to look up.
I continued forward, faster.
A thought pops in my head that hasn't been there all day.
I can do this.
I can.

I start reciting the mantra from last years race.
I am cool.
I am calm.
I am powerful.
I am a machine.
I AM A FUQUIN MACHINE

A memory quickly pops into my mind.
Going for a run the day after a leg circuit at crossfit ganbatte where I did pistol squats for the first time.
My body was wrecked- but I still ran through the pain.

   

And today- my legs didn't feel half as bad.
So I ran harder.
From Jackass to Rattlesnake ranch I clock in a 9-10 minute pace- body slowly feeling better.
At the aid station I finally pee for the second time (the first being at mile 52).
I realized my mistake of intaking too much sodium and was currently trying to render the problem.
I eat another handful of dates, pickles and a few potatoes- the only things that look slightly appetizing for me in my current state.
This year the aid stations are not stocked with avocados, to my dismay.
I, however, brought plenty.

Leaving the aid station, coke in hand, I strike up a conversation with a fellow and we begin to run together.
We chat a bit but mostly just run.
Running felt weirdly good.
And forward we went.
Step by step.

Until we were in a a parking lot, obviously not on course.
Shit.
My heart drops.
We turn around and run back the way we come and notice a hard right we missed.
Only a couple minutes were lost and before you know it we are back to a good speed- toward Jeadquarters.

You can do this!
You can do this Sawna.

I am cool.
I am calm.
I am powerful.
I am a machine.
I AM A FUQUIN MACHINE

The idea of dropping never phased me again.
Being able to pick up Colton as my pacer gave me hope and I was plain out excited to have a running partner.

Colton, if you know him- you love him.
If you don't know him- you should.
Just being in his presence made my heart sing.
His positivity radiated and was contagious.
We shuffled along and talked about nearly everything all while picking up tons of trash along the way.
(Shocking how much trash was left on course).

Time flew by and about 100 I'm sorries later we were back at Jeadquarters and I picked up Peter.
(I kept apologizing for wining, going ultra slow and/or for just really breathing too loud- I would say I'm sorry alot).

Picking up Peter went smoothly.
And as soon as I got to Jeadquarters it seemed as though I was already on my way out with him in tow.

Peter flew in from Denver, Colorado the night before and I was extremely thankful he offered to run a loop with me.
Just a few months ago roles were reversed as he completed Angeles Crest 100 in sub 24 hours- an amazing accomplishment.

We continued in a forward motion.
My body seriously drained and I reminded Peter that every, I don't know, every few minutes or maybe seconds.
From Rasttlesnake ranch to Jackass- my least favorite section (incase you've forgotten).
Unfortunately during this leg of the section, I ran out of water about three miles out.
All day long, running with one handheld and then two- never did I run out of water.
Yet around midnight when you think it wouldve been nice and cold.
It was still HOT!
This is probably when I felt the worst and going the slowest.
But Peter kept me positive and prepped me for what I needed at the aidstation.
Seeing Jackass Junction sent a bolt of happiness through my veins- getting fluids in me was a top priority!
I chugged many liquids; gatorade, water and then left with coke.

Recharging I kept walking and with a ping of excitment I remind myself:
You CAN do this.
Sawna you ARE doing this.
YOURE A FAQUIN MACHINE!

I begin running- well what resembled running at mile 92.
And I ran over 4 miles of the section before I decided we should be at the next aid already.

The last few miles were a blur.
But what I do know is we continued ran.
I picked up speed as I could see the light of Jeadquarders getting closer.

I never want to do this again I thought.
Fighting back tears I remembered the feeling that I never for a second thought I'd be here.
Mile 99 and running after the torture that was today.
Pushing ones physical limits and pain barrier need not, however, be everyone's goal.
Not normally mine.
But there is a part of me that wants to see how far I can go.
We exercise for several reasons and to me- I don't see this as exercise.
I see this as an adventure- a quest that I must take.

I gain more speed as I enter the headquarters and sprint to the finish where Peter and Consuela wait.
I fight back the tears as I walk straight to the Coyote tent and crash into the nearest chair without even the slightest idea of what time I finished.

66 seconds slower than last years finish.

I quickly remember mile 46 and how negative I was- how much I put myself down, my stregth, my ability to accomplish this goal and any goal for that matter.
I'm stronger than that.
I fight back the tears while I look back at the last 22+ hours.
That was, by far, the hardest thing I have ever done.
But I did it.

22 hours
34 minutes
04 seconds

66 seconds short of last years time.

I could be upset that I didn't PR but the fact that I finished is more that satisfactory.

I'm still shocked.

                                     

As I attempt to complete this blog post, as difficult as it may be as I sit here on the beach in Tulum Mexico,
(It really is hard to post photos, link and tag things on ones phone) I try to think of what I would do different to better prepare myself for this race.
(Also, since I'm on my phone please excuse the word vomit and lack of editing).

Firstly I completely avoided training for this race.
Running flat is not my forte nor do I consider it fun.
Despite signing up for this race I still found myself in the local mountains of Los Angeles enjoying my normal "training day".
If I was really interested in racing I should've focused on preparing myself for the heat and the inevitable miles  and time I would be spending on my feet.
I SHOULD and still should be spending more time on mobility work and strength training.
One thing I noticed during the race is how much stronger I feel when I've put time into strength training, something I haven't been able to focus on these last few months since I sprained my ankle.
I definitely felt the missing strength during the race.
Having a strong body is vital when putting forth so much effort during a race and with the help of JP and the rest of Crossfit Ganbatte these last two years I know what my body needs to excel.
I just need to actually go!
Not only putting in the time to strength train but to ensure you are doing it properly is just as important!

I guess I can say there is so many things I could've done, would've done to properly train for this race.
Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing.
It was a learning lesson to say the least.
An experience.
I can not say whether I'll return to Javelina Jundred again but I can say that I will never forget every moment of the 22 hours and 34 minutes.

Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness.

Gorge Waterfalls 100k Take Two

My eyes are closed.
I tilt my head back to face the sky.
I can feel drops of rain gently kissing my face, and the bone chattering ocld taking ove rmy body.
This is Pacific North Western weather and I embrace every moment of it!

I'm Standing. No. I'm jumping on the summit ridge of Munra Point, when I suddenly ask myself,
"How did I get here?"
A mere two days ago I was running Gorge Waterfalls 100k, and now I'm way up here with a face that's more sore than my legs from all the hours of laughter and smiles had througout the weekend.
This is runcation!

The days leading up to this race were filled with anxiety because of the year I'd had.
My training had not gone to plan, and my confidence was low.
The Gorge Waterfalls 100k (GW100k) was my goal race for the year, yet nothing had gone right.
I never felt healthy enough to train consistently due to various sicknesses taking me out one after another.
If it's not one excuse it's the other- right?
Thankfully my side job running Dollie (the cutest little dog ever) kept me accountable, and added enough base training to hopefully keep the wheels from falling off.
I wasn't necessarily nervous about the race, or distance.
No.
My big worry was if I could obtain my A goal of getting the 12 hour finish that I'd set for myself many months ago.
I knew I'd have to push myself the entire time.
Being severely undertrained made that idea unfathomable.
With a history of injury I decided that I wouldn't willingly put my body through that intensity at this point of the year.

Sawna, take a seat on the passenger side.
Roll the windows down, lean the seat back and enjoy the ride that makes up the Gorge Waterfalls 100k.
New goal: just go out and have fun.

The day had finally arrived.
It was 3:45 am.
I was preparing my coffee when the alarm sounded.
It was a relaxing morning, and I had already set out my race kit the night before to make sure I had everything I'd be needing for the day:
my favorite Runners of the Wild tank, complimenting ROTW hat, my new Boa bright parrot shorts, Stance socks and my amazing Brooks PureGrit 3s.
I checked my drop bags to make sure I had everything I needed:
a handful of dates, avocado halves, trail butter and a couple Picky Bars in each bag for good measure.
I've learned from past races that I need to always be prepared with fuel that I not only love, but that also works well for me.
Normally on trail runs back home I run with a whole avocado and a jar of pecan butter but in light of being, well, light- I left those at home.
With all the essentials packed up, I was now ready to race!


Joel came down from Seattle to be my crew chief extraordinaire.
We left the farm heading towards what we thought was the start line, but soon realized that our destination was wrong. We ended up at Multnomah Falls. Thank you iphone maps!
We parked there along with a few other runners who had made the same mistake.
Funny thing though, I could not stop thinking about how I forgot my new California Bear Buff back at the farm.
The idea of not having any buff(for the excess nose drip) was more frightening to me than not being at the actual start time.
Ugh, WHAT WAS I THINKING?
We pulled around and found James, the head honcho of this race, getting set up.
He said he would show us a short cut to the starting line. Woo!
Back on track. Or should it be Trail?
The way James showed us was, and there is absolutely no exaggeration here folks, just crazy!
He had us go down some sketchy road, over a few logs, across a stream, through a tree, make a quick stop at grandmothers, and lastly over a few mountains for good measure.
VOILA!
A quick - nonchalant - shortcut to the starting line.
Again, not exaggerating one bit. Thanks, James! ;)


We arrived at the start line area with about 10 minutes left before race start.
I put my drop bags down, threw my Race bib on, took a quick bathroom break, said hello to a few friends and, before I knew it, there was only a minute left before the scheduled start of the race.
Nailed it!
Vince and Tim joined me, and we listened quietly as James gave us a short speech.
We all looked like deer caught in headlights of a semi truck, but sadly, we were only runners, and this was an ultra trail course, not a semi truck.
3.2.1...
"Go!" The energy from every runner was nothing short of a locomotive beginning it's first turns of a long haul cross country - slow and steady, building with time.
I started the run with my long sleeve on because COLD.
I figured it's Portland, and it's always cold.
Am I right?
Argh.
Good weather one, Sawna zero.
I could still feel the terrible decisions of yesterday rumbling in my belly insulated by the warmth of my long sleeve. Nightmares of French fries and tater tots haunted my footsteps as I began to dance with distance.

The race started with about 30 minutes of darkness before the sun broke the skyline.
We'd begun to ascend our first climb when I recognized Lisa and her unforgettable blond pony tail.
We had run together during Orcas Island 50k a few months prior.
I said hello, and realized how much I love the community RainShadow Races creates.

I had spent the first few miles tagging along with Tim before he broke free.
He went flying down the one of many tricky descents served cold courtesy of the GW100K course.
As I went down into the cold and damp canyon, so did my stomach.

The beginning of an all too familiar problem I sometimes face in ultra running.
I did what I could do to manage my stomach and hoped it would get better as the miles clicked by.
I fell into a solid and reliable groove with a girl from Canada.
Sadly, I can't remember her name.
We chatted about our home trails, running communities, and yes, even the weather. We hit the two mile road section that leads to the mile 13 aid station.
"13 down, 50 to go." Easy.

I saw Joel as I approached the aid station, and asked for an avocado.
I told myself to use the restroom, but quickly left the aid area without even realizing the mistake.
For the next three miles, I found myself looking for the ladies room.
Flashbacks of this same situation from last year fill my memory.
The struggle is real trying to find privacy during a race with 300 participants.

With a much needed stop out of the way(or a few), I could finally turn my focus back to the race.
I gasped loudly.
The immense beauty held in this landscape is nothing short of GORGEous.

Everything looked different since my run here exactly one year ago.
The course hadn't seen rain like it did the year before, and the change was welcomed as the footing on trail was in my favor.

"Oh Avocados, how I love you."
I exclaimed to myself as I scarfed down my pulverized avocado that I had wisely stored in my handheld.
A nice gentleman whom I'd been leap frogging with for the last mile or so commented on the messy situation I was in (if only he knew).
I didn't mind at all and kept on keeping on with my delicious avocado.

Before I knew it, I was coming into the Cascade Locks GRATEFUL DEAD aid station at mile 22.
Let me tell you, there was an energy emanating from it that even my beloved avocado couldn't rival.
The smiling faces and loaded table were more than enough to make me forget about the pounds of potatoes that were attempting to slaughter my race.
Yassine and Willie from Wy'east Wolfpack were manning the aid station along with Territory Run CO and Trail butter.
They're ALL AMAZING PEOPLE, and super talented both on the trails and in the office.
I may have spent too much time saying hello to all my friends and hugging people.
I didn't care.
Time stood still, and I rejoiced in the splendor of that moment.
I'm so grateful for Joel being there to pull me back into reality, and for kicking me out of there before I could ask for a beer and just volunteer for the rest of the race.

As I ran out, I heard my name, "SAWNA!!" It was Jen with whom I'd bonded during Javelina Jundred late last year.
She was volunteering, and I left there with my heart filled with love as I recalled the amazing memories we created with each other out there under the hot Arizona sun.

I continued forward along the course feeling happy and strong as I whisked through shrubs and over rocks with hands lightly grazing the moss covered trees.
I was approaching the turn around point when I spotted Vince who was happy as can be.
We hugged before we both went on in our separate ways.
I could tell that we were both enjoying the stunning trails of Cascade Locks.
I remember being at this point last year, and really being able to pick up some speed as I headed towards the halfway point.
This year was no different.
I caught up to Tim at that aid station.
He was already tired and worn from the day.
Understandably, who wouldn't be tired with the minimal training we'd both put in?
I mean, it was the half way point of the race, and we'd already put 50k in the bank.
I, however, felt as though I was just getting started.
I quickly left that aid station with a shot of coke down the hatch, and a fresh avocado to match.
Leaving this aid station is my favorite.
The climbs are moderate, and you get the added bonus of adrenaline from the aid station.
It really sets the tone for a fun pace.
I embraced it - welcoming the featherlight footing that comes along with a controlled, runnable ascent.

The miles were clicking by, and soon I was heading back towards the Cascade Locks aid station.
This part is awesome because you are now running towards all the runners who are heading to Wyeth for their own turn around.
I enjoyed greeting each runner and seeing their (most) happy faces as I cruise by each other.
Running into a few Los Angelino friends made my smile go from happy to grand!

Everything looks different after the turnaround.
The moss covered trees have now changed tint as the sun illuminates their natural lime green beauty in subtle yet noticeable ways.
Tree branches point in every direction from these tall and abundant trees.
Moss hangs long from the many branches like drapes in an old hotel.
They seem to be stuck in a permanent dance pose as if only to pause for the brief moment while we ran by.
The trails were soft and dry delicately commanding my attention as the technicality rewards those with short attention spans a hefty mouthful of rich, life giving soil.
I took a moment to thank my body for this amazing gift of endurance.
My body felt fresh and my mind was sharp.
I was able to come into the aid station strong and confident in my ability to finish the race - unlike last year.
This particular section of trail which came after the aid station was so tough for me last year.
I had mentally struggled for so long, and walked so much of it.
I didn't want that to repeated.
I was happy to find myself having a much better experience this time around.
Keeping a conservative pace, I happily greet the local hikers as I passed by.
I remember walking this section last year with a girl and her pacer. I recall feeling so sorry for myself.
I gave myself a pat on the back for staying positive, and for being consistent with my race throughout the day.
As I quickly remind myself the mantra from Javelina.
YOU ARE A MACHINE!

From head to toe, every molecule of my being is working toward this greater whole to move forward almost effortlessly.
A fu***** machine!

The Yeon aid station came and went .
I grabbing nothing more than some water.
The encouraging cheer gave me so much energy for this next section.
I flew down the two mile paved road section that I'd walked last year.
What a relief it was to let my legs stretch out from all the jarring technical terrain.
After the road section there's only a handful of climbs left.

I romanticizing about this moment for months, maybe longer.
These trails had left a mark on me I couldn't shake off and I found myself with a deep hunger to be get back to them.
Last year I was able to make friends with a local trail runner, Josh and we had ran this very section with ease.
The last few months I would think of this moment and how I would mentally and physically feel.
Then suddenly boom, here I was, at the point were I visualized myself being countless times before.
I continued through this section, and came into No name aid station with great energy.
I said to myself, "you're almost done."
I was greeted by such happy and eager faces who quickly got me what I needed, and then got me back out on the trail.

I truly can't be more appreciative for the AMAZING volunteers at all the aid stations.
They took time out of their day to make sure I could have the best day possible, and for that, I'm eternally grateful. From the bottom of my heart to anyone that helped me out there, thank you so much!

I left No Name aid feeling amazing!
With only six miles left, I could nearly smell the fresh pizza(s) with my name on them.

The climb following No Name Aid is long and arduous.
I found a comfortable rhythm during the climbing portion to save the legs for the finish.
Before I knew it, the sun was sinking with it's light poking through the trees providing a few last moments of warmth and comfort.
There was a deep longing to stay in that moment forever.
I slowed my speed down and hike the final climb, enjoying what was the last of this beautiful course.
The hard work was almost over, and I could feel the ground changing degrees hinting at the beginning of the last descent leading to the finish.
My shoes were soaked at this point.
My feet slid forward in them as I ran downhill giving my toes one last thrashing to cap off the day.
The final miles flew by as I made my way towards the last part of the course - the train tracks leading to the finish. You can hear the crowd roaring with cheer at the finish line.
It's so inspiring.
I crossed the finish line, and before I knew it, the day was over.
I was happy to find myself in 12th place - again. Ha!
I crossed the line in 13 hours and 12 minutes for a solid 4 minute PR from last year.

The remainder of this Portland trip did not go to waste.
No, no, no!
I spent Sunday doing a brew and donut tour with friends that either ran, volunteered or just came up to visit.
It was just the recovery I needed after 13 hours on the trails the day before.
Joel, Vince and I spent the rest of the evening on the farm (yes! Our AirBnB was a farm) drinking wine and relaxing in the spa.
Such a perfect ending to a great day with friends.

On Monday we went up to Munra point to explore, and get in some recovery movements before heading back home.
You would've never known that both Vince and I had run 100k just two days prior from the way we were running.

It felt great to be moving again, and this trail was stunning!
Warning: perhaps not the safest when went due to several steep rock climbs.
May cause shakingness and thoughts that you may possibly fall off a mountain during your vacation.
After the hike/run, we finished off the day with some cold beers, donuts, burgers, pizza (for Vince) and some fries!

Portland, you are incredible, and I look forward to returning in June for the Beacon Rock 50k(For the second year!).
A huge thank you to RAINSHADOW RUNNING for another epic race filled race journey through beautiful trails.
Your incredible volunteers and aid stations created such an overwhelmingly positive experience for me, and I gotta say, you guys know how to put on a race! Thank you for all your hard work!


'Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness!

Thank you Vince for editing this post and filling my phone up with selfies ;)
Also, for getting onto an airplane for an adventure after 20+ years of staying firmly on ground and entering an airport. BOOM! I'm going to be nice and not post those selfies ;)

Orcas Island 50k and the trails that always seem to go UP!

(If on a desktop- some music to enjoy)

I can't help but to think about why I choose to run,
what motivates me to go the distance?
Not something distinct nor an answer I can fully grasp.
Not because I don't know- it's not so simple to put into words.
Memories of my first ultra distance and joining Team in Trainings "Ultra Team" holds the biggest weight in my reason. It is where it all started.
It's where my passion for the outdoors was merely a small match lit flame, well that flame has now become a wild fire with embers that only get hotter with each passing day.
During that time I've met some of the most incredible people that would inspire me to not only be the best version of Sawna that I could be, but also to live life in this present moment and when the going gets tough...
to never give up, never surrender.
Both on the trails and in our day to day life.

This past weekend was a reminder of why I continue to sign up for these "races". Not to race but to be apart of this wonderful community.
Without this community I would've never known about Orcas Island or the San Juan region. I would've never traveled to Portland, the Colombia Rover Gorge area, Yachats beach on Oregon's Coast, or Squamish and Arizona's Fountain Hills. I've been to all these places because of my passion for the trails and the like minded souls that I've been so lucky to meet.
The community has open my eyes and my heart to natures beauty and for that I am forever thankful.
Now, lets get to it.



Clouds, mist, darkness fill my vision and all of sudden I'm in front of Gelsons.
It's 11am, Saturday February 5th and it's 80 degrees out.
A normal Saturday as I pick up coffee at the Oaks on Franklin right by my house on the cusp of Griffith Park.
It's just a normal Saturday, but wait a second- it isn't.
I went to bed last night, mind you, yes I had a couple beers during dinner but how the hell did I get from Orcas Island to Los Angeles?
I'm silently freaking out as my heart is nearly breaking through my chest.
I'm supposed to be running Orcas Island 50k at this very second.
Sweat drips down my face.
I feel my cheeks get bright red.
A drip of sweat dribbles down my back that gives me goosebumps.
I would've had to catch a ride to the ferry, taken the ferry, then have gotten a 2 hour ride to the airport AND THEN to fly from Seattle airport to LAX all within the night.
This isn't realistic!
I log onto Facebook and sure enough Carlos is posting photos of the beautiful trails and all the pre race ordeal and how I just- POOF disappeared.
A week later Melissa and Carlos are standing in my parents kitchen telling me how much fun Orcas was, how beautiful the trails were and how weird it was that I decided to go home.
At that point I was nearing a breaking point, I was so frustrated that they didn't believe me that I had just appeared at home and that I don't remember any of my travels.
Was this some kind of intervention?
Two beers doesn't necessarily make me an alcoholic but how would I have gotten home and not remembered. I get the look from Melissa.
She asks me if she needs to take me to the hospital.
I'm dripping with sweat.
"We think you're going insane".

It's dark. I'm soaked in my sweat.
My hair is completely drenched.
Where am I? It's pitch black.
I'm pretty sure I've fallen asleep in some sort of Sauna.
I locate my phone.
11:34 pm
February 4th.
I can barely make out the cabin room I had fallen asleep in just a mere couple hours ago.
But it feels like it's been weeks.
A nightmare.
I crawl out of my sweat soaked sleeping bag and stumble outside to the brisk cool moist air that is Orcas Island.
A let out a loud sigh.
It was a dream, Sawna.
It was only a dream.

Friday, February 4th.
Wake up time: 4:30am
A car ride to the airport.
An airplane LAX->SEA.
A car ride to the ferry.
The ferry to the Island.
A car ride to Camp Moran.
Travel time: 6am-5:30pm
Beer me please.

Saturday, February 5th.
Race day.
The wood outside our bunkhouse was moist from the wetness in the air.
The grass shiny from the morning dew while the light slowly peaked through the trees and the sun rises.
It's almost start time and everyone gathers outside on a incline waiting for James to countdown.
It's surprisingly warm.
Most of us packed for the worst weather, but Mother Nature delighted us with one of the most beautiful days Orcas seen in weeks.
I jokingly tell a few PNW friends that I brought the good weather from Los Angeles.
It wasn't a joke- I really did! ;)

It's difficult to describe the day properly.
The first 15.23 miles felt as though I could catch my breath.
I told myself that I signed up for this race purposely not as a race but to truly understand why everyone says this is the most beautiful place- to enjoy it fully.

Since my body wasn't completely agreeing with what I was doing, rather than stress about it, I took advantage of the situation and slowed down, stopped a few times to take photos and really grasped my surroundings.

I was running through a fairytale.
Moss covered logs in the distance almost teasingly resembling a person in a bright green jacket, tall trunks of cognac colored bark mixed with fluorescent green high above me as the light peaks through as though taping me on the shoulder just to say hi.
Ray jumps into my memory.
Never give up, never surrender.
Memories of his inspiring words at our previous years send off dinners fill my eyes with tears.
You would've loved this.

At no point did my body hurt.
Something I'm not too familiar with seeing that a majority of 2015 races and training runs were spent injured.
It took 15 miles for my breathing to regulate and for my body to feel good and warm.
A majority of the run I spent talking to fellow runners, friends I've met at previous races or had met merely on social media.

(Glenn surprised me. I didn't see him. Support photographers)

I've seen a plethora of photos and both films from Project Talaria (2013) and (2014) and The Ginger Runner and although well portrayed, Orcas Island needs to be experienced first hand.
It's a constant eyegasm.
In every direction.

Up to mile 20 aid station you have nothing but beautiful lush fluorescent green everywhere but a runnable single track that you were on. One foot in front of the other.

A few root filled sections making it pretty technical. Darn you roots- I'm busy staring around me can't you see how incredible you're home is!

There was a section were Hillary caught up to me. It was an open area, a small waterfall to the left with the stream we had to run across. It was a vast area filled with sporadic tall moss filled trees. What can you do but stop and admire your surroundings?

Sections I forced myself to hike just to spend a little extra time taking deep breaths of this magical air.
Pure, wonderful, exhilarating oxygen filling me lungs.
Expecting to see a hobbit run by me or a fairy to land on my shoulder to whisper magical tales to me as a giggle at how tiny she is.
(Ok so I am slightly insane).
"This is the life" I thought.
I caught myself whistling from pure happiness.
Something I do occasionally.
(Habits of the slightly crazed).

After aid station 20 you have the "Powerline" trail that climbs over 2k-ish in feet in a matter of 2 miles.
This section has always been described as something you should be afraid of. A story one would tell around the campfire to scare all the little scout members before bed to give them nightmares.

But this is far from a story. It's very much real life and I've already had one nightmare to last me a while.
Never give up, never surrender... I repeated to myself and continued forward.
My jacket already safely tucked into my pack, beads of sweat dripping off my face, my side braid soaked, both hands on my quads as I continued upward.
Constant deceiving points where you think the climbing has ceased- that you've reached the top.
Hallelujah!
You think.
I begin running in what I believe is a runnable section but soon, gravity getting the best of me inevitably forced to slow down back to a hike. I soon realize I've entered he next stage of the climb and look straight up in amazement that this thing- this "trail" continues unapologetically.
My hands back on my quads as I begin my power hike once again,
keeping my speed consistent with a reminder that it doesn't feel much different than Joan's Peak back home.
This isn't so bad.
Sweat stings my eyes.
One foot in front of the other.
I reach the top of the Powerline and smile in amazement.
That was awesome!

I reach into my pack for a bite of the heavenly trailbutter packed tortilla I've saved from the aid station. I may or may not have dropped a few times and picked it right back up.

"Mhhhhh taste good" I thought to myself as I quickly commented back at how gross I was.


From Powerline, you have a nice descent before entering the net climb up to Mt. Constitution and inevitably the final aidstation.
This wide open downhill aided me in catching my breath and essentially filled my lungs with love.
Love for this beautiful island and the opportunity to run here.
At that point I had found a rythym in speed and was surprised at how regulated I was able to keep my breathing.
I didn't want to push myself too hard knowing there was still some climbing left.
Onward and upward to Mt Constitution.
Not as steep as the Powerline trail but grueling just the same.
Hands back on my quads as I felt myself ease back into the climb.

Pizza and beer.
Pizza and beer.
Whoa- massive calves man.
Pizza and beer.
Pizza and beer.
The idea of endless drink and food with the best company at the finish line somewhat took power over my thoughts.
I continued to think of only that for the next mile.
My thought may have been out loud too considering there was some gasping agreements for some local brewskies.
Eventually I passed the man with massive quads, a low gaspy good job escaped my mouth.

A broke into a jog nearing the top.
I can see blue skies through the tree and in the distance I can hear cheering.
The excitment one feels on Christmas eve, or celebrating a birthday- pure, magical, unaltered happiness.
I would've gave myself a pat on the back for surviving if I wasn't focused on actually getting to the aid station.
Im almost there.

I fee like I'm sprinting, but in reality I'm probably crawling.

I could only imagine my current doppelganger would be the girl from The Ring crawling out of the well toward the TV Screen but in this case toward the aid station as I have just conquered the most difficult section of the course.
Party!
The finally aid station!
At that point I ran back into Joel, whom I spent a majority of the race with until he mountain goat'd up Powerline.

I grabbed another trailbutter packed tortilla to go, a cup of Coke as a celebratory drink and off we went to the vistas of Mt. Constitution.
I kid you not my face was full of snot the second I realized Glenn was off the side of the trail snapping photos.
Well, it's reality.
Snot.
Everywhere.
I battle we may all lose whilst running in somewhat cold temperatures.
At some point you get tired of consistently blowing snot rockets to the side in fear that you'll hit someone.
Lets be frank, we all do it. (Right?)
This is a real fear of mine.
That's the truth.

I grab my tortilla goodness.
Being pretty winded at the time, I found it rather difficult to run and chew simultaneously.
It was the first time, prior mile 15, that I was gasping for air.
However, mid gasp, the view from Mt. Constitution stole any thought process available.
It's stunning. Every shade a blue in the distance.
The water sparkled and shimmered in raw beauty.
Never give up, never surrender I remember.
At the point Joel politely passes me, Gazelle like, flying down the descent out of sight.
I slowly found my rythym, enjoying what was left of natures gift for the day.
Easing in to what was to be the last mile my left quad suddenly seized up into a cramp.
My left leg catapolting outward- I immediately put pressure on the cramp area to easy the pain.
I continue to jog, it hurt more to walk at that point as I self massaged the area.
A couple of deep breaths and sips of water later it simply disappeared.
At the point I would've been completely happy with walking whatever distance I had left.
I was in paradise.
I was high off life and nothing could bring me down.
As I continued to run, I no longer had to hold my inner tight and was able to ease back into a normal pace when I could hear he cheering in the distance.
It's over already?
That's it?
I'm almost done?
"No, that's not right" I tell myself.
But sure enough I was one climb away from giving Jame a nice high five and having a beer in hand.
What has a beginning always has an end and to me this race ended to quickly.
I felt myself wanting to hug a nearby tree and not continue forward to stay in this moment a bit longer.
No I'm not signing up for Orcas 100 any time in the near future if that's what you're thinking.
One high five and several hugs from friends later I was beer in hand and on the sidelines cheering.
You bet I had a big fat grin on my face.
That was incredible.

Rainshadow Races are known for not only their epic landscaped trails, but also their after parties.
Finishers get freshly made pizza and snacks galore as well as kegs normally line the door with local beers.
Once both Melissa and Carlos finished along with JC joining us- it was almost picture perfect.
I just ran one of the most beautiful trails and I'm here at a table joined with my friends from LA along with friends from Seattle and Portland that I've met at other races.
You look around and despite the dirty covered clothes, the sweat stained faces, everyone face was accessorized with the biggest smile.

The rest of the weekend was icing on the cake.
The following morning we packed everything up, ate breakfast at a local diner, and headed to the ferry.
Little did we know, half the race participants would be leaving at the same time.
Parked behind one friend, next to another- it was another social event.

Back in Seattle we stayed another day to, you know, do tourist things.
Superbowl.
Drink.
Eat.
Drink.
Play arcade games.
Drink.
Run.
Drink.
Eat potatoes.
Drink.
Eat french fries.
Play endless basketball until your arms hurt.
Drink.
More potatoes.
Tall buildings.
Eat more potatoes.
See wonderful friends.
Eat a cinnamon roll... probably made of potatoes.

Needles to say it was a wonderful adventure of a weekend.

I am so thankful to have the opportunity to be apart of this wonderful community- I have made countless friends to which I don't know how my life would be now if not for them and their constant motivation.
Memories flood back to Ultra Season 2013.
Each season of Team in Training, whether you are training for a Marathon, a Century ride, a Ironman; etc, your team honored teammate.
An honored teammate may not be someone who is participating in the actual event but an individual who you are training in honor of, essentially someone who has had cancer and is either currently battling it or has overcome it.
For Ultra Team 2013 and on it was Ray.
He was THE MAN.
His humor, his constant positivity and encouragement- you never would've thought he was ever sick.
He would tell us how he continued to go the distance, continue to run even though no one thought he could- and HE DID.
Cancer is not a joke, no matter what form.
I can't help but to get tearied eyed on this plane as I write this, but you never really know how fragile time is until it is gone.
This weekend I promised to celebrate a life.
One that was passionate, inspiring,and articulated life so flawlessly with always a little kick of humor.

With every sunlight that peaked through the trees I thought of you.
With the sparkling of the lake shinning back as to say good job- I thought of you.
When powerline seemed endless but I was nearing the top- I thought of you.
Never give up, never surrender.


Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness.

** I should probably edit this... but I'm not.
It's too hot. My skin is melting.

Javelina Jundred. My first 100 miler.

I turn my headlamp off as I crouch down to pee on the side of the trail.
Pee breaks are inevitable when you are in the middle of nowhere.
I finish my business and made myself proper again and began walking toward the next aid station- my head staring up.
UP.
It's just past 1am and the stars are screaming with radiance.
The moon is a burnt orange as it lights up the trail and you can't look away- the view is mesmerizing.
The Big Dipper, Little Dipper, Cassiopeia and more. A perfect setting to learn astronomy.
I wiggle out of my daze and turn my headlamp back on, I'm on mile 85 and I'm ready to run.
There is no doubt in my mind that I'm going to finish this race.
That I will complete a 100 mile run.

Javelina Jundered
The 13th Annual Javelina Jundred will take place October 31 – November 1, 2015 staged out of the Pemberton Trailhead at McDowell Mountain Regional Park north of Fountain Hills, Arizona.
The 100 mile course is comprised of six full loops on the 15.3 mile Pemberton Trail and a half loop on the Pemberton and Tonto Tank Trails. Trails feature rolling single track through the Sonoran Desert. Run past giant Saguaro Cactus, granite boulders and dry wash-beds as you tour the most popular trail of McDowell Mountain Regional Park. 100 kilometer runners will compete four full loops of the Pemberton Trail.
Loops are run “washing machine” style, meaning each is reversed allowing you to keep an eye on the competition, see your friends and meet other runners all day and night.
Each loop features a gentle 600 foot climb from the start/finish at Javelina Jeadquarters to the high point near the foothills of the McDowell Mountain range. The trail dips in and out of wash beds on the far side of the course before descending back to the start finish. The trail is a mix of hard packed granite, rocks and sand.

Leading up to Halloween I was hesitant on participating in the race at all. These last few months I've been dealing with plantar fasciitis in my left foot and scaling my training back dramatically with some weeks of absolutely no running.
Frustrating doesn't even begin to describe how I feel? Depressed maybe?
I had felt as though I was doing everything I could possible, stretching, foam rolling, using a lacrosse ball, different foot exercises but nothing really got to the root of the problem.
It wasn't until I went to Rich, founder of VFE (Vision for enrichment), he comes to Crossfit Ganbatte every Thursday and Friday for sports massage appointments and I grabbed whatever hour he had available.
An hour with him did wonders, my hips, quads, calves were oh so tight and with his help he was able to relieve some of the tension. With his help and my consistent stretching/foam rolling and mobility work my plantar pain was almost non existent.

This was a week before Javelina.
I knew I was going to race no matter what but that idea of my foot not giving me any issues was a relief.

Unfortunately a week before the race I found out that both my pacers were unable to make the event anymore.
A situation I would have preferred happen a weeks or a month or two ago but what can you do.
Only a minor panic attack, a few tears shed and I was determined that I was capable of doing this on my own.
It's a big race, I figure there will be a few stragglers in a need of a run.

With that out of my mind I focused on the race.
That's a lie.
I didn't really focus on the race at all.
I read the course description once and I don't think I went back to the race website once.
My Halloween costume was my key focus.
I had to go to two different Goodwills to accumulate the necessary items for the complete outfit.
It was fun experience considering my go to costume every year is either Pocahontas or Frida Kahlo.

Thursday October 29th
Packed and ready to go. Carlos, my one and only crew member was to meet me at my apartment and off to Arizona we drove.
My oh so sweet cousin Megan who lives in Surprise, Arizona let us stay at her house that night.
I was thankful for such an incredibly soft bed to sleep in two nights before the race and her adorable son Cohen was a morning treat.
It was so wonderful being able to spend some time with them before we headed to Fountain Hills.

Friday October 30th
We left for Fountain Hills around 9am. Surprise was only an hour away.
We arrived and the campsite reminded me of Ragnar with all the tents sent up as well as the race canopies.

There was also pizza by Freak Brothers and a cute coffee car!

It was a great set up, an area to rent tents and another for people that set up their own.
We had opted to set up our own, or really I had opted for Carlos to set it up :)
By the time the tent was set up and we had unpacked the car everyone was starting to trickle in.
A majority of the Coyotes were already there and had set up too.
Pack it pick up went smoothly! Carlos and I both enjoyed all the merchandise they were selling and it was great to see SO MANY familiar faces.

My favorite part of Friday was the mini version of the Trail Running Film Festival that James put on.
The films were shown on a projector in Javelina Jeadquarters (JJ) as we all sat around drinking beer and eating pizza with the stars above keeping us company.
It was a magical night to say the least.

Saturday October 31st


Slept surprisingly well and almost didn't hear my alarm go off with my earplugs in. Whoops.
My costume was a hit already. My tent neighbors were surprised that I was even going to run in the getup but I was determined.
With everything set up and we were ready to go I was able to get coffee.
I was stopped maybe 5 or more times for pictures of my outfit.

Due to the hype of the morning seconds before the gun went off I realized I didn't eat breakfast other than my coffee but I wasn't too worried. I was still stuffed from the subway sandwich and vegan pizza I eat for dinner.

6:00 AM
The gun goes off and the race starts.
It was a trickling effect, there were so many people going through the starting line toward the trail. It felt like we were being herded toward the desert.
It started off pretty slow as everyone was trying to get into their groove.
After the first aid station I started running next to a girl who had complimented me on my costume.
We began to chat and I learned her name was Jen and she was from Portland.
You know how I love Portland and all it's glorious trails!
We began talking about the Rainshadow Races and some mutual friends we had together.
Oh- and how she is also vegan. Instant besties- come on!
I believe there is a Disney song with the lyrics "it's a small world afterall!" well, IT IS.
Both Jen and my intentions for the race was merely to have a running adventure, a good time on the trails really! To take it slow and have some fun- and that we did.

I can honestly say the 55 miles we ran together flew by. Although we were moving at a moderate pace, we were talking and signing the whole time which made time fly by.
I apologize to any runner that heard us sing Bohemian Rhapsody the first, second, or third time.
It was a blast!
Around mile 55 is when I continued running, I believe Jen said she needed to walk for a bit and I jammed.
We both agreed that when the time came, we had to think of our own races.
So I continued on.

I rolled in and out of Javelina Jeadquarters rapidly and back on the trails I went. It wasn't until the 6.5 dreadful miles from Coyote Camp to Jackass that I was starting to feel as though a pacer was necessary.
My eyes felt heavy and it took so much effort to keep them open.
I focused on my breathing. Deep breaths.
Let the healing in and the sore and tiredness out.
Let the healing in and the sore and tiredness out.
My eyes continued to get heavy and I was upset at myself.
I shouldn't had a pacer.
I turned my phone off airplane mode and sent Carlos a quick message saying I was moving extremely slow and that I would need him to pace me once I return to JJ (Javelina Jeadquarters).
Sent.
Put my phone back on airplane mode and I continued forward- at a very slow pace.


I am cool.
I am calm.
I am powerful.
i am a machine.



I call this Mikes pro tip of the day. The day before heading to Arizona I did a final 8 mile run with Mike and Juniper and he shared with me his mantra. It is something that helps you focus on breathing; keeping your heart rate low, your strength beyond mental boundaries, and your form even when things get rough.


Mile 65 I was repeating this to myself as I was working on my breathing.
This was the first point in the race that I felt really anything; at this point it wasn't pain, it wasn't soreness but fatigue.
It took me 2 miles and 33 minutes to convince myself to pick up the pace.

My legs felt heavy but at no point during my training did my body ever feel this good- and I've already ran 65 miles.
I've done three days of EWOD workouts at Crossfit Ganbatte and still had an 80 mile week and My body feels fresh compared to that week.
I told myself- stop complaining and start running.
"You feel great Sawna!"
I told myself.
And you know what?
The more I ran the better I felt.
As I began to run faster my body was slowly waking up.
This 100 mile journey is just starting to get good and my body is going to finish what it began.
The next three miles I ran.
You could hear the coyotes howling at the moon as it rose. It was a magical sound when normally it would've been a silent quest.
At that point I was still fatigued the idea of the next aidstation a mere few miles was an incenvite enough to continue forward.
I could hear Dom on the mic half a mile from Jackass Junction and running in James Varner and Andrea cheered me in.
If friendly faces doesn't perk you up then I don't know what will!

Jackass Junction is a party. Tempted by a bottle of whiskey I had to refrain from joining my friends.
I was on a different quest.
Katie helped me grab my drop bag and ensure I didn't spend too much time there.
James ran with me out of the aid station. His excitement was intoxicating. Or he was intoxicatingly excited.
Either way seeing everyone lifted my spirits and I ran.
What is wrong with me? I thought.
I've ran over 70 miles and I still feel good?
This can't be right!
Memories of AC100 at mile 70 flood back to me in a wave. How terrible I felt.
How I cried, really, cried from mile 60-75.
Today was no AC.
I quickly sent Carlos another message retracting my last message and stating how great I felt.
I continued a 10 minute or so pace past Rattlesnake Ranch and arrived at JJ feeling fresh.

I was in and out and a matter of two minutes.
Grabbing the only nutrition I've been eating all day:
Avocado
Dates
Pickles
and a Cliff bar to go.

That's it.

In past races I've had such terrible experience with my stomach I didn't want to alter any food choices now that I have at really good luck with what I was eating.
Normally "ass on fire" is a term I'd use in long races and those words were not in my dictionary this race.
(TMI I know- but it happens)

"Stick to what is working"
I told myself.

I jam out of JJ and jog out to Rattlesnake ranch for some coke. It was getting pretty cold at this point and thankfully I had my long sleeve tied around my waist and was able to put that on.
Grabbing some veggie broth I headed out, 78 miles in.

It was cold and the veggie broth warmed me up, unfortunately it also made me very tired.
Extremely fatigued.

fa·tigue
(fəˈtēɡ)
noun
1. extreme tiredness, typically resulting from mental or physical exertion or illness.

Being tired is a terrible feeling. One I know from driving.
The days I'd visit my family in San Diego and drive home really late- I would slap myself, turn the music up, keep the windows down just to stay awake.

I tried with all my might to keep my eyes open.
When I would walk it got extremely cold so I jogged.
Have you ever fell asleep while running?
Me either, until this point.

Awaking at the point of almost collapsing on the trail. It's a frightening experience but one I just could not avoid.
If I hiked it got cold. When I ran I still wouldn't wake up and I'd start to fall asleep.

I talked to myself alot at this point.
Swore to myself that having a pacer would assist me in the dreary hour.
Repeatedly stated
SAWNA YOU'RE AWAKE
SAWNA YOU FEEL GREAT

My body was NOT convinced.
There were runners and their pacers crouched on the side of the trail during this time.
At one point there was a couple I wanted to ask if I could sit next to them and have a nap.
I really regretted not having my costume on at this point- it would have been extremely convenient.
Weirdly enough my body wasn't having any other issue other that the overwhelming sensation to REST.


I am cool.
I am calm.
I am powerful.
i am a machine.


I worked on my breathing and slowly felt as those I was waking from the dead.
It took about 38 minutes and a little over 2 miles to begin feeling alive again.
Knowing that I was able to recover the first time gave me hope and I was able to convince myself to run again.
It began at an almost walking pace but what started off slow moved into a faster pace and I started to feel alive.

Mikes mantra slowly evolved into...

I am cool.
I am calm.
I am powerful.
I am a (***king) machine.

and that is what I continued to tell myself.

People ask me "What do you think about when you run?"
Honestly, nothing other than my breathing, my form, my stride, my arms, basically how my body is performing.
The second my form starts to cave in, my poster slouched, my knees begin to hurt and it reminds me to keep my head up, shoulders back, knees up, pelvic bone not tucked out.
SO MANY CONSTANT REMINDERS- it's almost impossible to think of anything else.

Every time I repeated my new mantra:

I am a (***king) machine.

It reminded me that a well oiled machine can still perform despite troubles. You can still face difficulties on the trail but when focusing on form, breathing and what lies ahead- I can still perform to my best capabilities.

Running into Jackass Junction at mile 83 was a relief.
From Jackass Junction to Coyote Camp is 6.5 miles but it has a slight downhill.
Mentally it's easier to accept the mileage when I know it's downhill.

Getting to Coyote Camp, I felt pretty depleted. About 90 miles in and I just wanted to be done already.

Running in the night, in such a beautiful landscape, was rather difficult.

During the day you are constantly greeted with runners and friendly faces.
In the night, your constantly greeted with lights beaming in your eyes.
Despite not seeing faces I made sure I greeted every oncoming runner with a positive note.
The happier it seemed I sounded, the happier it actually made me.
Mind tricks.

I walked about a mile from Coyote camp to JJ. Once I began running, probably the same speed as my walk, a guy approached me and started conversation.
It was great! I picked up his speed and quickly realized how my walking felt worse than this ten or so minute pace we were running.
The mile we ran together we talked about the race, past races that got us here and how friendly everyone has been.
I was very grateful he ran next to me and let me join forces with his pace or I would have continued to walk.
Before we parted he reminded me that no matter what every step forward is getting you closer to the finis.
Keep the momentum going.

Sprinting into JJ I was greeted by Carlos and Kate.
I must have spent a minute to say hi; eat a few slices of avocado, grab some dates and chug a cup of Coke and off I went.

It only took about half a mile for my adrenaline to go south again. I began to walk again in hopes that my last friend made would rejoin forces. Passing Coyote Camp I continued to hike and I could hear him and a girl talking. They were definitely running.
I began to job and as they began to pass me I quickly switched gears and started running their fast pace.
Instantly I felt great again.
Brand new person.

You bet in my head I was saying...
I am a (***king) machine.

He stated if we kept this pace up he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer and would slow down.
I honestly just wanted to continue forward in hopes that I will still feel good.
He began to hike and the girl and I continued to run forward.
I started to feel really good. My body definitely did not fell as though I had been running 95 mile prior and honestly I have felt worse in training runs.
Keep this momentum up.

She ends up hiking up a rocky section as I run by, feeling like I have gas in the tank I pick up my speed to Tonto Tavern, the last water only aidstation before the final 3.6 miles to the finish.
I fill up my hand held quickly and jog what seems like a downhill finish.
A girl and her pacer catch up to me and ask if I realize that we are on pace for a sub 23 hour finish.
I had no idea.

My intention was never for a sub 24 hour finish but to just finish. Yes, the idea of a sub 24 hour finish was nice but inevitably finishing was my only goal.
When she said a sub 23 hour- I didn't believe it.
When I had seen Kate Freeman at JJ she had said the same but I merely brushed it off. That's crazy.

This girl and her pacer confirmed that if we kept a good pace, we'd finish sub 23 hours.
With that- I bolted.
From running a 13 minute mile to running 8 minute miles for the last 3+mi stretch was exhilarating.
This was the only time, I realized, that I was breathing harder.
Steady breaths, but faster and my form was on point.
I felt strong.
I was flying.

I am a (***king) machine.
I am a (***king) machine.
Sawna you are a (***king) machine.

I could see the huge light of the road ahead which would mean only .5 mile to the finish.
Still running fast I still wished every passing runner a solid finish.
Feeling strong, fast and pretty light on my feet I sprinted into the finish line.
Official time: 23:33:38
63rd overall
12th female.

Shocked beyond belief.
Words can not describe how proud I am of myself. Despite being doubtful of my training, my efforts and overall just myself and capabilities- I overcame all of it, stayed positive throughout the whole quest.
I set out on an adventure and an adventure I had and completed with flying colors.

I wouldn't have changed a thing.
Not one thing.
Everything accumulated into the experience and I think with one thing altered perhaps I would not have finished strong.

At the finish line Carlos asked if I thought I could run another lap and honestly, I think I had the energy to do so.
And that is what I am happy about:
To run a race, have fun and not beat my body up over it. I may not have ran my hardest but I ran smart and that is what I'm most proud of.

Unable to sleep I was able to greet the rest of the Coyote group and other finishers as they crossed the finish line.
What an experience.
Sitting by the warm fire I took a few shots of Jameson in hopes that it would keep me warm and make me tired but alas! it didn't accomplish either.
It went from cold to warm to HOT in a matter of an hour and as I was eating my Boca Burger and drinking a beer with my new friend Andrew from Portland- not fathoming the last 24 hours.
Did it really happen?

Around 11 am I was ready for a nap but could not imagine sleeping in the sauna that was our tent. Thankfully I was able to find a more comfortable, cooler spot within the Coyote area for a solid 30 min rest break.

I was able to pack most of my things into the car minus the tent. Carlitos was in-charge of the deconstruction of the tent as I sat in the air conditioned car.
The morning was spent cheering on every last finisher, a few tears shed, a plethora of hugs given and laughter shared.

Driving away from McDowell Regional Park both Carlos and I had felt as though we had just gotten there.
We drove about an hour to Glendale, AZ to my Uncle Dan's house.
I've been seeing my Uncle Dan and Connie more frequently in LA since my cousin Candice moved out here but I hadn't been to his house in Arizona since I was a wee cherub.
Carlos and I were welcomed with open arms and instantly it felt like home. I took a long hot shower, de tangled the rats nest that was my hair (still several knots from when I woke up like this).
Afterward I while drinking maybe a gallon of water I sat in their hot tub massaging my legs, I was surprised at how well I was moving.
The hot tub was clutch, the jets were strong and felt as though I was getting a back massage as I stretched my legs out.
It didn't take much time before my hands pruned.
By that time my cousin Megan, Tasha and Cohen were already there and we were ordering dinner.

It felt like a vacation.
Did I just run 100 miles with only 30 minutes of sleep since?
It really just feels like I'm out here visiting family, yes I'm moving slowly but this is some great times.
Once the food arrived my cousin Jordan and her adorable sun Gabriel arrived as well as her twin Taylor and her friend plus her new seeing dog!
It was a wonderful night, I talked about my race, we talked about the kids, Uncle Dan cracked some really awesome corny dad jokes (him and my dad should hang out more often).
The perfect ending to an incredible adventurous weekend.

We all gathered in the living room to watch the world series as we joked, told more stories and I enjoyed a glass a wine.
By 8:30pm I was ready for bed and that was it!

That's my weekend.
The next morning (Monday morning) I spent hanging out with Uncle Dan and Connie while drinking coffee, talking some more before Carlos woke up and we headed out. I woke up feeling like a brand new person, slept like a rock and arose with very minimal tightness. I spent a good 25 minutes stretching and getting that blood circulating more in my legs. I was intoxicated with happiness with how well my body felt. Soon after we left for the 5.5 hr drive back.

My dad met me just before I entered LA to drop Juniper off. He had watched her the last day since my roommate was not going to be home. Definitely thankful for my roommate Sam and for Mike taking her on runs everyday while I was gone.


Despite requesting Monday off from work, I received my schedule early Monday morning and I saw that I was on to work and surprisingly enough made it in time- worked a full shift no problem.
Weird.

I'm just going to go with it.

All in all- I ran; had fun, ate lots of avocado, dates and pickles, drank tons of water, peed in several different bushes, met some amazing trail folks, crossed the finish line and drank some beer.
It was a great time!

Many thanks to Carlos, my cheer squad, crew captain, driving buddy and overall friend that dedicated his whole weekend to aid my endeavor of running a 100 miles.
To Jimmy and Kate Freeman and all the coyotes for the invaluable amount of support not only during the weekend but the weeks leading up to it.
And of course my friends and family; despite them all thinking I'm pretty crazy, they always believe in encourage me to to finish anything I'm passionate about.

Now I'll let the dust settle before my next two races.
Orcas Island 50k.
Gorge Waterfall 100k.

Looking forward to seeing my new friends Jen and Andrew out in the PNW ;)

Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness.

Postscript.
I've had a puppy laying next to me the last few hours begging for some cuddles.
This probably wouldn't have taken me so long if I didn't stop every couple minutes to remind her what an angel face she has.
<3

Oregon Coast 50k: Before and after

“Yachats” (pronounced YAH-hots) is derived from the Chinook Indian word, Yahuts, meaning “dark waters at the foot of the mountain.” Nestled between the lush forested mountains of the Coast Range and the lapping waves of the Pacific Ocean, Yachats is the ideal spot for rest, recreation, and romance. The quiet unhurried atmosphere of this tiny (population 635) resort village offers vacationers a unique alternative to the hustle of city life and impersonal quality of a large coastal community.s


Where do I even begin?
I've procrastinated on putting this memory to pen and paper for so many reasons. The most weighted reason being I don't know where to start.

Lets go ahead and start with the first 6 miles of the race.

The 50k starts from Patterson Memorial Recreation Site just south of the town of Waldport and runs for about six miles right on the beach, where it'll meet up with the Oregon Coast Trail. Sitting on my couch back in Los Angeles during a normal 96 degree day-it seemed pretty awesome and honestly really easy. (Never saying that again)
"No big deal" I thought.

Well it was a big ***king deal once you are on the starting line and you're trying to not get blown off your feet.

OK California girl, we are no longer in LA where it's 90 degrees all the time.
THIS IS WEATHER.
James, the head honcho, started promptly and without hesitation.
The first mile seemed like hours had passed.
The effort to take a single step felt as though every force of nature was pushing you back.
My quads where stinging. Shocked at what I was doing to them and trying to not continue as much as I was pushing it to go further.

The problem was that half way through the beach run I broke off from the group I was running behind hiding from the big bad wind. Trust me, if I hadn't had to re tie my left shoe lace I would've be glued to that group.
Unfortunately once you stop there is no hope in regaining the momentum to return. For the fear of exhausting all efforts in trying to catch up to them I just continue running alone.
All efforts my own.
It's just me and the wind.
And the terrible thoughts going through my mind.

I continued forward at a very slow pace despite my quads screaming at me to abort this mission. Leaning completely forward in hopes that the wind doesn't whip me backward.
It wasn't until the conga line appeared behind me that I felt hopeful.

I had not truly appreciate the idea of drafting until this very moment. I've heard of this during cycling but never really before in running.

PULLING/DRAFTIN:
Runners (or cyclist) rotating through a line, taking turns running in the front (pulling) before peeling off and latching onto the back. When you draft like this, by tucking in close behind the front runner, you expend less energy.

And that's what we did in our conga line.
Words can not express how thankful I am to join this group once I was alone for a period of time.
The moment I joined the back of the line I instantly felt the difference and my body thanked me.
We continued changing the front runner until we reached the end of the beach run.
One more mile until the aid station and I was spent.
Every inch of my body ached.
Well, Sawna dear, this is what happens when you don't train.

The weeks leading up to this race I had dramatically scaled down my weekly mileage and two weeks up to the race I had completely stopped running.
After Gorge Waterfalls 100k I had felt a bit of pain in my feet. I thought it was sore feet from the technical terrain of the race. I, of course, ignored it. I stretched when I felt like it and continued doing what I loved to do- run in the mountains.
My plantar pain continued and in July I was forced to scale back in my climbing due to how painful my left foot would get along with how tight my calves where. I religiously foam rolled and stretched and the weeks I was in Sweden I was able to run with little to absolute no pain. I thought I was cured!
OH how wrong I was. Once I returned to sunny Southern California I couldn't wait to get back into the mountains.
I was training for the Baldy Race to the top, a 7 mile run up to one of the highest peaks in Southern California reaching 10,069ft.
My plantar fascia pain came back and with vengeance. After the race I completely cut back in mileage in fear of making the problem far worse.

Since then I have continued to foam roll, stretch and strength train in hopes that the pain will subside and it has dramatically.
The week prior to the race I was considering not running at all despite already having everything planned out and paid for.
The FOMO was real.
(Fear of missing out).

I had already mentally agreed that I was going and that I would walk the entire course if necessary.
There was absolutely no need to "race" when my only intention was to enjoy the beauty that surrounded me, this new area I have never been to and its gorgeous nature!

Running up to the first aid station I instantly saw Dave and hugged him trying not to cry.
I laugh at myself at what a baby I was.
IT HURT.
It- being my entire body.

I quickly refilled my water, grabbed some trail butter and continued running with Dave about half a mile out before the wind continued to soar and I just couldn't go any faster to keep up with him.
From the Adobe Resort aid station, the course follows the Oregon Coast Trail through the town of Yachats to the Amanda Trail which begins the mountainous 22 mile race. My left plantar fascia started to throb, it wasn't painful but it did poke at me and remind me that I needed to scale back even though the real running should have began into the dense green nature.

Words can not describe how mentally challenging it is to hold back when all you want to do is run.
My body was hurting and I didn't want to push myself when I wasn't particularly having fun. I hate to say that I wasn't having fun but I would be lying if I said the handful of miles after the beach run where a walk in the park.
Well realistically, I was walking through a (somewhat) park.

While packing I had forgotten to pack my garmin and each step I took I was unaware of where I was in the race. The mileage wasn't being calculated and I had no real desire to know.
A few miles before Cape Perpetua I started running with a Vancouver local. It was during that time when I had ignored the pain and just slowly paced myself toward the next aid station. We talked about the beautiful landscape that surrounded up, races we have ran, traveling the world and things in between.
The trail community can be really uplifting and oh-so friendly. It was really fun running with him and I appreciated the little time that I forgot about the pain my body was in.
After the second aid station both my quads and feet were throbbing. I felt as though I had so much energy but my body where being a party pooper. This is when the climbing began and I honestly walked every step up while my frustraion just grew.
Handful of people where passing me.
I don't blame them- I felt as though I was moving backward. I knew that going slow was the right thing for my body however mentally I was being very hard on myself. There was a time, during that four mile climb, that I was reconsidering my passion for running. Thinking perhaps I should start knitting again, or doing something less harsh on my body.
It's not as though my fuse was tripped and I slowed down involuntarily. I had chosen to listen to my tired body and just continuing forward at whatever preferred speed.

Within every race, even long training run I've always seemed to receive a second wind around or promptly at mile 20. Climbing to the next aid station, not knowing what mile of the course I was on and at that point had lost all hope of that second wind. It was during the Animal Athletics aid station talking to Yassine that I realized my body feeling pretty incredible. (The Exploreo was a lifesaver)
It was as though my bodys lightswitch went on.
Second wind- CHECK.
After that aid station there I did a full body check of how I felt and with every good feeling I gained momentum.
My quads had a rebirth and finally agreed with what I was doing. Thank you.
The plantar throbbing I was experiencing completely disappeared. Thank youx100.
I listened to what my body wanted to do and that was to run!

My heart rate was low as I sped through the downhill section, passing the handful of people that had passed me during the climb. I was focused on the technical terrain in front of me and the constant hairpin turns but I couldn't help but soak in the beauty. The dark lighting with the sound of the roaring wind along with the rain induced a runners high that I longed for the 20 miles leading up to that moment. I was disappointed in myself for quickly disregarding my passion for this sport and how quickly I realized how much I appreciated this journey I was on.

Climbing back up to Cape Peretua I set into a slow jog and enjoyed the complete downpour of rain. This is when my heartbeat crew faster, not because of the climb but the fear of being lifted off my feet. Completely pushed to the side of the trail, once you are at the peak you are exposed to the storm and all that it has unleashed. The sideways rain felt as though you were being shot by bebe guns as I held my hat to the side of my face in hopes of being masked from the bullets. The runner ahead of me was almost taken off his feet as he tried to escape the storm.

At this point into the storm the trails had completely disappeared under the flowing creek and massive puddles of water. Any traces of footprints had completely disappeared.
I continued on the rolling downward creek that I believed was the trail and knew there where only a handful of miles left. Once you hit the road it's about two miles through the town and neighborhoods of Yachats to the finish line.
Thankfully it was flat and with a tailwind that helped push me to the finish line.

I crossed that finish line with what I thought was a smile (note to self: work on actually smiling) on my face as I gave James a high five and stunned that the clock read 6:15. The memory of the beach run seemed like days ago as I just experienced some of the best trails with incredibly insane weather... ever.

Although the weather did not help with the celebrations, it didn't stop us from enjoying the best company along with several pieces of pizza and lots of beer... LOTS!

Rainshadow Races have been by far some of my most memorable races to date and even with such adverse conditions the race directors always seem to know how to put on a great time!
They have built this community of trail runners that can't seem to get enough of their races- and I consider myself one of them now and look forward to Orcas Island in February.

I don't think I would've enjoyed the race as much without the beginning physical and mental challenges, I definitely fully appreciated every moment afterward.

The next day, Sunday, was an absolute stunny day in Yachats! Perfect weather for their second race.

I'll be honest. As I'm writing this I'm dripping with sweat as it is 93 degrees in my apartment. I am daydreaming of Oregon from the three short days I was there and can only be happy to be preparing myself for the heat that will be Javelina Jundred at the end of this month.

Seriously.
Dripping.
Sweat.
You gotta love SoCal ;)
(on that note- if any PNW trail folk would like to house swap with me for a week... )

Till next time,
Peace, love and happiness


Postscript
While waiting for Dave in portland- I was able to take a tour around i.e. stop at Deshutes Brewery and enjoy a tasty beverage.

Todays music selection.